-Caveat Lector- WJPBR Email News List [EMAIL PROTECTED] Peace at any cost is a Prelude to War! FREEDOM NOW NETWORK - October 3, 2000 THESE DEBATES WILL BE ALMOST AS FUN AS WATCHING GRASS GROW <A HREF="http://www.knoxnews.com/archives/browserecent/10032000/archives/15918.sh tml">Click here: These debates will be almost as fun as watching grass grow </A> http://www.knoxnews.com/archives/browserecent/10032000/archives/15918.shtml By Sam Venable, The Knoxville News-Sentinel, October 3, 2000 Ever since Richard Nixon dabbed sweat off his lips while debating John Kennedy on TV, American politicians have realized the importance of looking good in front of the camera. Thus, Republican George W. Bush and Democrat Al Gore are busy rehearsing what to do and say when they square off in Boston tonight in the first of three jousts. Neither party has asked for my advice. Nonetheless, I have prepared the following suggestions each candidate might bear in mind as Campaign 2000 lumbers on: FOR GEORGE W. BUSH * "Neener-neener-neener!" and "So?!" are not recommended as effective counterpoints. * Even in the heat of the questioning, refrain from saying, "Please hold the cue cards higher. I can't read the answers." * Cowboy boots and blue jeans are definitely a sartorial no-no. * Go quickly to the jugular on educashu . . eduket . . edducc -- on the importance of makeing Amurika's skools gooder. * "Because my dad says so!" will not score points, even among Lincoln Republicans. * Although you may be embarrassed to say it, the capital of South Dakota is pronounced "pee-err." * "There You Go Again!" was not the title of Ronald Reagan's most memorable movie. * When the subject of taxes arises, avoid prefacing your replies with, "As I was tellin' the boys down at the club the other day ..." * Never use the word "Astro-Turf" in discussions of environmental initiatives. FOR AL GORE * Keep both hands in plain view so the audience can see all fingers remain uncrossed. * Sworn, signed, notarized statements from everyday citizens, and dogs, you use to illustrate your points wouldn't hurt, either. * Bury earth-tone duds in the same grave as Earth Shoes. Is it too much to ask for a plain suit, white shirt and necktie just this once? * If the terms "soft money," "fund-raiser" or "Buddhist temple" creep into the debate, deflect attention by pointing off-stage, shouting: "Look! It's Elvis!" and fainting momentarily. * Commit the response "Bill who?" to memory and use it frequently. * "Because my dad said so!" will not score points, even among yellow-dog Democrats. * The Kiss worked once. Don't press your luck, especially not with moderator Jim Lehrer. Even if he's wearing a blue dress. * If opponent wisecracks about your wooden appearance, do not attempt to impress him with a soliloquy about the cellular structure of the oak genus, Quercus, even if you did invent the Linnaean form of botanical classification, along with penicillin, WD-40 and the wheel. * Best to limit promises of Social Security benefits to, oh, $500,000 monthly for every man, woman and child. Otherwise, voters might get the notion you're just throwing out any ol' figure that sounds good at the moment. And now, America, perk up a pot of strong coffee, and (yawn!) let the debates begin. ----------------------------------------------------- Sam Venable can be reached at 865-342-6272 or [EMAIL PROTECTED] His new book, "Mountain Hands: A Portrait of Southern Appalachia," is scheduled for release later this year from the ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ -- Copyright � 1999-2000, The Knoxville News-Sentinel Co. All Rights Reserved. COMMENT: Personally, I may watch tonight to see what Tweedledee (Bush) and Tweedledum (Gore) will NOT talk about. I know that they WILL talk about spending or not spending the Budget Surplus even though they will "pretend" they are talking about the "issues". Yes, it is like I make $50,000 in salary -- but I make up a budget for $100,000. It's OK because I can borrow $50,000 on my good credit -- and go ahead and spend $100,000. That is what our illustrious REPUBLICAN CONGRESS has done. They just didn't overspend as much as the Democrats have spent in the past -- and call it a SURPLUS. GIVE ME A BREAK. I will make a LIST of what they will NOT debate (they can't because they would have to take the same side of these issues). Even though there is a SHOOTING war going on in PALESTINE/ISRAEL, they won't mention it. Albright will straighten this out -- and negotiate a cease fire. The Israelis will withdraw their military tanks and grenades; and the Arabs will stop throwing rocks. They won't talk about the coup being worked out between Iran and Iraq and other countries -- (all about OIL) -- since I don't think OIL or OIL taxes will be mentioned. They won't mention WHY the other Presidential Candidates are not part of the Debates!!! According to BALLOT ACCESS NEWS October 1, 2000 - there is NO Third Party Candidate who will be on the ballot in all 50 states. Pat Buchanan will be on the ballot in all states except Michigan (because the Federal Court knocked him off); and Harry Browne will be on the ballot in all states except Florida. These two men DO stand a chance of being elected and would have stood a better chance if they were allowed to appear in the debates. Nader needs 7 more states to reach that status and Howard Phillips needs 12 more states. IF (and that is a BIG IF) these candidates were to form a coalition -- and ELECT Presidential Candidate as an OPPOSITION to the major parties -- and more important a coalition to HELP elect the Third Party candidates to CONGRESS (and yes there are MANY in all 50 states running), the 2000 Election could be the turning point in taking America back for the people. Dot Bibee **********_____________ *_____________ ____________________ ____________________ ____________________ FREEDOM NOW NETWORK %Dot Bibee ([EMAIL PROTECTED]) Knoxville, TN Ph/FAX (865) 577-7011 *COPYRIGHT NOTICE** In accordance with Title 17 U. S. C. Section 107, any copyrighted work in this message is distributed under fair use without profit or payment to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for nonprofit research and educational purposes only.[Ref. http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/17/107.shtml ] Want to be on our lists? Write at [EMAIL PROTECTED] for a menu of our lists! ****************************************************************************** ******************* A vote for Bush or Gore is a vote to continue Clinton policies! A vote for Buchanan is a vote to continue America! Therefore a vote for Gore or Bush is a wasted vote for America! Don't waste your vote! Vote for Patrick Buchanan! Today, candor compels us to admit that our vaunted two-party system is a snare and a delusion, a fraud upon the nation. Our two parties have become nothing but two wings of the same bird of prey... Patrick Buchanan <A HREF="http://www.ctrl.org/">www.ctrl.org</A> DECLARATION & DISCLAIMER ========== CTRL is a discussion & informational exchange list. Proselytizing propagandic screeds are unwelcomed. Substance�not soap-boxing�please! 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