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 WHO SUCKS THIS WEEK? CNN FALLING, AOL GALLING

 By: Nathan Porter

 "They send out legions of brainwashed reporters like a million marching ants
 ready to devour the carcass of a roach called truth. No longer is it merely
 a question of objectivity. CNN has moved beyond a lack of objectivity into
 disinformation: dispensing information they know to be wrong as a weapon
 against political foes." Me-August 11, 2000.

 As the mighty ax of indiscriminate mass firings continues to bloody the
 waters at CNN, many find it difficult to remain unemotional about the human
 consequences of such a situation. Not me. With a speed rivaling the downfall
 of the Soviet Union, or worse yet, House Speaker* Bob Livingston, CNN has
 fallen and hopefully won't get up.

 Like the Soviet Union, CNN is an evil empire collapsing of its own
 self-indulgence. Every step of the way, the people at CNN could have
 reported the news in a fair and balanced way. Instead, they chose to report
 the news as they wish it were, particularly when covering politics. Despite
 the emergence of new cable news competitors and in the face of plummeting
 ratings, CNN chose to hire producers and put on the air a collection of
 reporters whose liberal bias could hardly be overstated.

 Like the Soviet Union, it was those at the top who ran CNN into the ground
 while the little people suffered. Therefore, it is no surprise to me that
 the people who brought us Time Magazine, America Online, and Both Sides With
 Jesse Jackson are managing the wave of layoffs much like the Kremlin
 would've dealt with TASS 20 years ago. The shock of CNN's massive firings
 has given way to outrage over the manner in which they were conducted.
 "INHUMAN RESOURCES" charged one news headline. "CNN TELLS STAFFERS TO GET
 OUT; GUARD ESCORTS, COMPUTER SHUT DOWNS, TEARS!" screams the headline at The
 Drudge Report. "Insiders describe a company in turmoil, with staffers
 watching as their shattered colleagues return from the Human Resources
 Department in tears - and then nervously wondering if they're next."

 Though I'm delighted with CNN's downturn, I truly do not wish financial or
 personal hardship on any CNN employee (except for Tucker Carlson, Greta Van
 Susteren and Bill Press, of course). I wish only the best for those at CNN
 who fear they are next to be axed. For some I wish a personal heaven, for
 others something a little warmer. My wish for Candy Crowley is that she wins
 the Oscar for her film debut in the John Candy Story. I wish Bernie Shaw
 success...as the first black Elvis impersonator to headline at the Cherokee
 Indian owned Chief Talking Ass Lounge and Casino, located in Tunica,
 Mississippi.

 It is my wish that Judy Woodruff find her true calling as a female wrestler
 (no biting, Judy). I hope that Jeff Greenfield finds success at ABC, where
 he is forced to remove the layers of grease covering Peter Jennings' skin.
 It is my fondest wish that Greta Van Susteren be forced to spend the rest of
 her life as law clerk to Barbara Olsen. My wish for Tucker Carlson is that
 he be damned to a life as Margaret Carlson's "house boy," the highlight of
 his day occurring when he massages Margaret's bunion-laden feet with his
 bare hands. And for Bill Press, my special wish is that he be damned to a
 life as Tucker Carlson's "house boy," the highlight of his day occurring
 when he massages Tucker's blister-laden ass with his bare hands.

 AOL Galling

 Look at them! Call me old fashioned, but I'm a tad leery of these corporate
 types who act like they work for Jim Jones, Inc. - "Pass the Kool-Aid,
 darling. We've just taken over the world." There is something eerily cultish
 about a corporation with a vision of how the world should be, and a plan
 that takes all of us on their journey to Utopia, whether we want to go or
 not.

 Despite the current suffering at CNN, the new AOLTIMEWARNERTEDCNNTURNER Mega
 Corporation is destined to become a force of evil not seen since Dr. No. CNN
 had Ted Turner, but AOL et.al has Gerald Levin, and Ted Turner has nothing
 on Gerald Levin (Anti-Christ alert**). Gerald Levin is the chief of AOL/Time
 Warner, and his goal in life is the creation of a global giant - or
 monster - in media and entertainment. He was the force behind the
 Time-Warner merger, and their subsequent merger with Turner Broadcasting
 System, and now he heads the whole AOL/Time/Warner/Turner Corporatorship.

 Last week, Levin questioned the Bush administration's commitment to fighting
 cancer. "I want to know why we're talking about building a missile defense
 system," he declared, "and not talking about doing more stem cell research."
 And I want to know why this high-powered CEO is such an ever bloomin',
 clay-brained, bum-bailey? What the hell does SDI have to do with stem cell
 research?

 Don't get me wrong, stem cell research is a complicated issue and I hardly
 have the answers. However, it is not complicated disagreements over
 bioethics that make Gerald Levin's remarks anathema to me, but it is his
 gratuitous slam against SDI as the enemy of medical research and his
 insinuation that a failure to unconditionally embrace stem cell research
 signifies President Bush's unwillingness to adequately fund medical research
 at all. The truth is, despite his personal opposition to stem cell research
 Bush has called for a medical moon shot, proposing to double funding to the
 National Institutes of Health (NIH) by 2003 and by $67 billion over the next
 ten years. But the best Gerald Levin can do at a cancer research fundraiser
 is to take a cheap shot at Bush and missile defense. I'm sure all the
 Hollywood types in attendance were very impressed. While many relish in the
 troubles besetting CNN, we must remain vigilant against CEO's like Levin,
 and Turner before him, who use their money and power not just to influence
 politicos - all corporations do that - but also to control the evolution of
 society in a manner to their liking.

 Disease is one of the great threats to society and spending federal dollars
 to combat it is wise and prudent. But as surely as disease can kill millions
 so can nuclear missiles, and demanding that research to defend against one
 must be done at the expense of the other is puzzling to me. To anyone who
 says a missile defense system cannot be built, I say Wright Brothers. To all
 who say it costs too much to defend against missiles, I say Nuclear Pearl
 Harbor.

 I wish more than anything that we lived in a world where the reality of
 nuclear annihilation wasn't possible, but we don't. So why do   some find it
 so difficult to agree in principle that given the ability to defend
 ourselves against such weapons we should do so? It is not as though as our
 defense we are relying on the threat of mutual assured destruction. SDI
 improves the prospects for nuclear peace in our time, it does not threaten
 them.

 Why would the CEO of a company like AOL et.al be so interested in
 discrediting a missile defense system? Is it because SDI makes Russia and
 China nervous? Levin considers China's Jiang Zemin to be his good friend,
 and he has worked to include China in the WTO. In 1999, Levin praised Jiang
 Zemin as he presented the Communist leader with a bust of Abraham Lincoln;
 this occurring at the same time Zemin banned all sales of Time magazine from
 China's newsstands. Did Zemin's shot across the bow have an affect on his
 good friend Levin? Does Zemin have any influence over Levin? When Levin
 speaks out against missile defense, is he carrying Zemin's water?

 Those at AOLTIMEWARNERTEDCNNTURNER have a high opinion of themselves and
 their company's role in the world. Said CEO Levin,   "This [AOL/TimeWarner]
 is not just about money. This is about making a better world for people."

 AOL's Steve Case said, "We have an unbelievable opportunity to really make a
 difference, not just in terms of the services people use, but also in terms
 of the kind of impact we can have on society."

 While some worry that AOL/TimeWarner's first impact on society is burdening
 the nation's unemployment rolls, I worry more about what impact on society -
 American society in particular - their opposition to missile defense will
 have. And what will AOL et.al and Gerry Levin do the day the missiles fly?
 My guess is that like Dr. No, Levin and his corporatorship sycophants will
 be sitting somewhere on his private island, surrounded by his own missile
 defense shield, while the rest of us are vaporized as we discuss the status
 of stem cell research. My friends, that day will suck but failing to prepare
 for it will suck more, and those who keep us from preparing for it suck the
 most. That means you, Mr. Levin.



 * Rep. Bob Livingston, R-La.- has the distinction of being the first
 Republican Speaker of the House never to serve as Speaker of the House. His
 tenure as Speaker-Elect was a mere 30 days. Resigning his seat in Congress
 because of the disclosure of an extra-marital affair, Livingston was chosen
 to replace noted adulterer Newt Gingrich, who resigned in disgrace after
 being blamed for nearly losing control of the House during the 1998
 election, a setback that was blamed on the Republican's role in impeaching
 the all-time greatest adulterer in American political history. Asking
 President Clinton to follow his example, Livingston resigned in a speech on
 the House floor and forever earned the title Real American Hero. Henry Clay
 would be proud.

 ** Anti-Christ alert -- the Anti-Christ alert is used to notify people of a
 person who thinks they are God, such as Ted Turner or U2's Bono.

 Mail this article to a friend(s) in two clicks!




 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
 ----


 Nathan Porter is a recovering trial lawyer and a freelance writer. He is a
 bi-weekly columnist Ether Zone.

 Nathan can be reached at [EMAIL PROTECTED]

 We invite you to visit his website: www.bsnn.net

 Published in the February 5, 2001 issue of  Ether Zone.
 Copyright � 2001 Ether Zone (http://etherzone.com).
 Reposting permitted with this message intact.

 We invite your comments on this article in our forum!
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