-Caveat Lector-

<http://www.townhall.com/columnists/anncoulter/ac20010316.shtml>

Town Hall
Townhall.com Columnists
Ann Coulter (archive)
March 16, 2001


The liar is gone but the lying continues

It seems President George Bush has imposed an innovative series
of workplace rules at the White House. Staffers have been
instructed to be on time, practice common courtesy and dress
appropriately. (This probably spells an end to the crack pipes on
the White House Christmas tree, too.)

President Clinton's economic adviser Gene Sperling dismissed the
adult environment at the Bush White House as the serendipity of
having a budget surplus. He explained that the endless all-night
jam sessions with panty-less women was the result of "how
dramatically different it was to be in a time of deficits." (The
connection between having to make important decisions and
creating an environment in which it was impossible to make
important decisions remains a bit murky.)

By contrast, the Clinton administration had to suffer: "We
literally had to present Clinton with scores of potential cuts
which could even cost members of Congress or the president
himself an election."

What were those programs again? Clinton's big initiatives during
his first year in office consisted of: (1) trying to socialize
the nation's health care, and (2) attempting to turn the U.S.
armed forces into a homosexual focus group. It took Newt Gingrich
and the Republicans coming to power to give Americans a puny tax
cut.

But in those first few years when he was working with his own
party, Clinton raised taxes and created new government programs.
No wonder it took interminable hippie jam sessions to put
together a budget. Clinton had to figure out precisely how much
of a lie his campaign promise of a "middle class tax cut" was
going to be.

In addition to having cleared out the pizza boxes, women's
panties and plastic cups littering the White House, the calming
wind of the Bush administration has created genuine "new
Democrats" -- Democrats with a passion for fiscal austerity. As a
theoretical matter, they are all for a tax cut. But alas, they
are slaves to a balanced budget, and "we" just can't "afford" it
right now.

They are, of course, lying. They want our "muffler money" to
protect the revenue flow for their useless federal programs.

But the point is: They don't say that. Polls must be telling
Democrats they can't support taxes by appealing to Americans'
love of government programs anymore. Their current propaganda
proves that wonderful government programs aren't selling. Even
the Democrats' class-envy demagoguery has lost steam. People hear
that the Bush tax cut will give "the rich" a hundred kazillion
dollars back, and the average cluck will only get $200 back --
and they think: "OK, gimme my $200."

Consequently, Democrats are left having to hoodwink stupid
Republicans (or Maine senators) and the broader public by
insisting they can't sleep at night thinking about the debt. Just
as abortion-loving Democrats maintain that no one is in favor of
abortion, they now claim they also want to make taxes safe, legal
and rare. They really do. They just want to balance the budget
"first."

One of their ingenious devices for making abortion "rare" was to
support a procedure that involves suctioning the brains out of a
half-born baby. This is pretty much how their fiscal austerity
plan would work, too. Gee, one crackerjack method of making
something "rare" is to throw people in prison if they do it. (Why
do they want to make abortion "rare" anyway? Is it a little bit
of a murder?) And one way to balance the budget is to stop
spending money like drunken sailors.

But somehow Democrats and Maine Republicans never get around to
the spending part of their fiscal austerity plan. All we know is
that it's going to require a lot of taxes. If their mania for a
balanced budget is so all-consuming, why can't they ever tell us
which useless government bureaucracies they intend to stop
lavishing money on?

Any politician who cannot agree with the proposition that no
American should send more than a third of what he earns to the
federal government ought to be able to say how much -- ideally --
the government should be taking. How about 40 percent? Is that
just right? When will we have attained the perfect tax nirvana
according to the Democratic Party?

When Reagan was elected, this country had 80 percent marginal tax
rates. That barbarism was expunged a mere 18 years ago -- and no
thanks to the Democrats. It is a more astonishing fact that 18
years ago the marginal tax rate in the United States of America
was 80 percent than that lobotomies were an accepted medical
practice a couple decades back.

Get your mufflers now -- before Democrats figure out a way to
make taxes any more "rare."

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  The Best Way To Destroy Enemies Is To Change Them To Friends
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