-Caveat Lector-
Oh Amelia, This is choice!!!!!!! Thanks!
On Wed, 13 Jun 2001 20:52:48 -0500 Amelia <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> writes:
> -Caveat Lector-
>
> Sent: Wednesday, June 13, 2001 2:03 AM
> Subject: [THE SCARLET OPPRESSOR
>
>
>
>
> There once was a young person named Little Red Riding Hood who
> lived on
> the edge of a large forest full of endangered owls and rare
> plants that
> would probably provide a cure for cancer if only someone took
> the time
> to study them. Red Riding Hood lived with a nurture-giver whom
> she
> sometimes referred to as "Mother," although she didn't mean to
> imply by
> this term that she would have thought less of the person if a
> close
> biological
> link did not, in fact, exist. Nor did she intend to denigrate
> the equal
> value
> of nontraditional households, and she was sorry if this was
> the
> impression conveyed.
>
> One day her mother asked her to take a basket of organically
> grown fruit
> and mineral water to her grandmother's house.
>
> "But Mother, won't this be stealing work from the unionized
> people who
> have struggled for years to earn the right to carry all
> packages between
> various people in the woods?" Red Riding Hood's mother assured
> her that
> she had called the union boss and gotten a special
> compassionate mission
> exemption form.
>
> "But, Mother, aren't you oppressing me by ordering me to do
> this?"
>
> Red Riding Hood's mother pointed out that it was impossible
> for women to
> oppress each other, since all women were equally oppressed
> until all
> women were free.
>
> "But, Mother, then shouldn't you have my brother carry the
> basket, since
> he's an oppressor, and should learn what it's like to be
> oppressed?"
>
> And Red Riding Hood's mother explained that her brother was
> attending a
> special rally for animal rights, and besides, this wasn't
> stereotypical
> women's work, but an empowering deed that would help engender
> a feeling
> of community.
>
> "But won't I be oppressing Grandma, by implying that she's
> sick and
> hence unable to independently further her own selfhood?"
>
> But Red Riding Hood's mother explained that her grandmother
> wasn't
> actually sick or incapacitated or mentally handicapped in any
> way,
> although that was not to imply that any of these conditions
> were inferior to
> what some people called "health."
>
> Thus Red Riding Hood felt that she could get behind the idea
> of
> delivering the basket to her grandmother, and so she set off.
>
> Many people believed that the forest was a foreboding and
> dangerous
> place, but Red Riding Hood knew that this was an irrational
> fear based
> on cultural paradigms instilled by a patriarchal society that
> regarded the
> natural world as an exploitable resource, and hence believed
> that
> natural predators were, in fact, intolerable competitors.
>
> Other people avoided the woods for fear of thieves and
> deviants, but Red
> Riding Hood felt that, in a truly classless society, all
> marginalized
> peoples would be able to "come out" of the woods and be
> accepted as
> valid lifestyle role models.
>
> On her way to Grandma's house, Red Riding Hood passed a
> woodchopper, and
> wandered off the path in order to examine some flowers. She
> was startled
> to find herself standing before a wolf, who asked her what was
> in her
> basket.
>
> Red Riding Hood's teacher had warned her never to talk to
> strangers,
> but she was confident in taking control of her own budding
> sexuality,
> and chose to dialog with the wolf.
>
> She replied, "I am taking my grandmother some healthful snacks
> in a
> gesture of solidarity."
>
> The wolf said, "You know, my dear, it isn't safe for a little
> girl to
> walk through these woods alone."
>
> Red Riding Hood said, "I find your sexist remark offensive in
> the
> extreme, but I will ignore it because of your traditional
> status as an
> outcast from society, the stress of which has caused you to
> develop an
> alternative and yet entirely valid worldview. Now, if you'll
> excuse me,
> I would prefer to be on my way."
>
> Red Riding Hood returned to the main path, and proceeded
> toward her
> grandmother's house. But because his status outside society
> had freed
> him from slavish adherence to linear, Western-style thought,
> the Wolf
> knew of a quicker route to Grandma's house.
>
> He burst into the house and ate Grandma, a course of action
> affirmative
> of his nature as a predator.
>
> Then, unhampered by rigid, traditionalist gender-role notions,
> he put on
> Grandma's nightclothes, crawled under the bedclothes, and
> awaited
> developments.
>
> Red Riding Hood entered the cottage and said, "Grandma, I have
> brought
> you some cruelty-free snacks to salute you in your role of
> wise and
> nurturing matriarch." The wolf said softly, "Come closer,
> child, so that
> I might see you."
>
> Red Riding Hood said, "Goodness! Grandma, what big eyes you
> have!"
>
> "You forget that I am optically challenged."
>
> "And Grandma, what an enormous - er - what a fine nose you
> have."
>
> "Naturally, I could have had it fixed to help my acting
> career, but I
> didn't give in to such societal pressures, my child."
>
> "And Grandma, what very big, sharp teeth you have!"
>
> The wolf could not take any more of these specialist slurs,
> and, in a
> reaction appropriate to his accustomed milieu, he leaped out
> of bed,
> grabbed Little Red Riding Hood, and opened his jaws so wide
> that she
> could see her poor grandmother cowering in his belly.
>
> "Aren't you forgetting something?" Red Riding Hood bravely
> shouted. "You
> must request my permission before proceeding to a new level of
> intimacy!"
>
> The wolf was so startled by this statement that he loosened
> his grasp on
> her. At the same time, the woodchopper burst into the cottage,
> brandishing an ax. "Hands off!" cried the woodchopper.
>
> "And what do you think you're doing?" cried Little Red Riding
> Hood. "If
> I let you help me now, I would be expressing a lack of
> confidence in my
> own abilities, which would lead to poor self-esteem and lower
> achievement scores on college entrance exams."
>
> "Last chance, sister! Get your hands off that endangered
> species! This
> is an FBI sting!" screamed the woodchopper, and when Little
> Red Riding
> Hood nonetheless made a sudden motion, he sliced off her head.
>
> "Thank goodness you got here in time," said the wolf. "The
> brat and her
> grandmother lured me in here. I thought I was a goner."
>
> "No, I think I'm the real victim, here," said the woodchopper.
> "I've
> been dealing with my anger ever since I saw her picking those
> protected
> flowers earlier. And now I'm going to have such a trauma. Do
> you have
> any kava kava?"
>
> "Sure," said the wolf.
>
> "Thanks."
>
>
> Jack Perrine | Athena Programming | 626-798-6574
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