-Caveat Lector-

WHITE HOUSE INSTALLS ANTI-QUESTION SHIELD AROUND ARI FLEISCHER

Fearing a barrage of press corps questions that the White House does not
want to answer, the Bush Administration has installed a high-tech
anti-question shield to protect Press Secretary Ari Fleischer, sources
confirmed today.

The multi-billion dollar shield is designed to shoot down questions that
could address what the White House feels is classified or sensitive
information. The first test of the new shield was successfully employed
today during a press briefing, intercepting and destroying a question
related to what constituted classified or sensitive information.

"This is a huge step forward in the White House communications defense
system," said an administration source who explained that the system
automatically responds to questions that attempt to penetrate the shield by
launching a series of pat, repetitive and purposefully vague responses.

The defense shield can respond immediately to any question fired off by
reporters by launching standard, defensive non-answers, such as "I believe
the president has made himself clear on that issue," "You'd have to talk to
the DOD (Department of Defense)," or "I'm not going to talk about
operational matters."

Critics maintain that the shield may not be foolproof and that some tough
questions could get through. Asked whether President Bush had concerns that
a serious question could penetrate the shield, Fleischer said, "I believe
the president has made himself clear on that issue."

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