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Peace at any cost is a Prelude to War!

THE FEDERALIST(r) CHRONICLE
The Conservative e-Journal of Record
* Veritas Vos Liberabit *

28 November 2001
Federalist Edition #01-48
Wednesday Chronicle

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CONTENTS:
The Foundation
Insight
Upright
Editorial Exegesis
Dezinformatsia
Sociocrats
Village Idiots
Short Cuts


______----********O********----______
THE FOUNDATION

"It is a common observation here that our cause is the cause of all
mankind, and that we are fighting for their liberty in defending our
own." --Benjamin Franklin

______----********O********----______
INSIGHT

"Character, not circumstances, makes the man." --Booker T. Washington
++ "Where there is one brave man, in the thickest of the fight, there
is the post of honor." --Henry David Thoreau {} "Man is unjust, but
God is just; and finally justice triumphs." --Henry Wadsworth
Longfellow ++ "God is always trying to give good things to us, but our
hands are too full to receive them." --St. Augustine {} "Humility must
always be the portion of any man who receives acclaim earned in the
blood of his followers and the sacrifices of his friends." --Dwight D.
Eisenhower ++ "No indulgence of passion destroys the spiritual nature
so much as respectable selfishness." --George MacDonald {} "I love
agitation and investigation and glory in defending unpopular truth
against popular error." --James Garfield ++ "Never undertake anything
for which you wouldn't have the courage to ask the blessing of
heaven." --G.C. Lichtenberg ++ "Man ... must necessarily be subject to
the laws of his Creator...." --William Blackstone {} "Every victory
for human freedom will be a victory for world peace." --Ronald Reagan

______----********O********----______
UPRIGHT

"God in His goodness has never blessed a people or a nation so
mightily as He has America the Beautiful. That is the simple and
profound gift to the saints and strangers who live in this place
called America." --Diane Alden ++  "While government continues to
encroach upon those freedoms supposedly guaranteed by the Constitution
we are still the freest people on earth." --Lyn Nofziger ++  "Pride
goeth before the fall of tall buildings that once graced the Manhattan
skyline. Like the Pilgrims, we too have come through a time of trial
and tribulation. Let us emulate them by acknowledging the real source
of national security and so be worthy of Heaven's continued
blessings." --Don Feder ++  "Narcissists feel little gratitude,
because they have an enormous sense of entitlement. ...God doesn't
need our gratitude. We need to express it. We need to remind ourselves
of how incredibly lucky we are to live in a free country. We need to
pause and thank all those, living and dead, who fought and suffered to
keep us free." --David C. Stolinsky ++  "We must see this perilous
mission through to its ultimate end -- if for no other reason than to
ensure that those in the World Trade Center and Pentagon did not die
in vain." --Victor Davis Hanson ++ "Have no doubt that in this fight
against terror and despotism, we are on God's side. Thank God we have
the means and the will to fight -- and to win this war." --John
LeBoutillier ++   "The U.S. can bomb Afghanistan to dust but terrorism
will remain. In some bizarre thought process understood only in
Washington, D.C., the possibility of tightening up immigration laws
paralyzes most politicians." --Rep. Tom Tancredo {}  "News-gathering
does not have to stop during a war. But news is what has actually
happened. Rumors and speculation are not news. Nor are American
military plans news. Reporting these plans and jeopardizing Americans'
lives is espionage." --Thomas Sowell {} "The use of embryos to clone
is wrong. We should not, as a society, grow life to destroy it."
--President George W. Bush

______----********O********----______
EDITORIAL EXEGESIS

"The fact is we are well past the time in this country when scientists
could chase dreams outside the arena of politics and elections. It's
all now connected, and never more so than with cloning or stem-cell
research. Speak the word 'embryo' and immediately you are inside the
arena of 'reproductive freedom' (abortion), a weapon no liberal
politician fails to swing these days at a conservative opponent. No
matter how legitimate, tough or even interesting the ethical questions
surrounding the cloning, and later destruction, of many thousands of
embryos for medicine, very few of the politicized advocates of
'reproductive freedom' are going to concede even a suggestion of human
potential inside those unfertilized embryos; then the door might open
to a rethinking of the morally superior claims made for abortion
rights. ...Around those little embryos, whatever their potential for
therapy or life, now looms an array of imposing interests -- politics,
the law, patent rights, the needs of companies such as Advanced Cell
to attract capital and not least the kind of agreed-upon moral
underpinnings with which this country started its own life. 'Life,' of
course, is one of those famous inalienable rights, which the
Declaration's text described as 'endowed by their Creator.' If
Advanced Cell's controversial announcement of cloned human embryos
gets us back to arguing over what we think now of such fundamentals,
so much the better." --Wall Street Journal

______----********O********----______
DEZINFORMATSIA

"Illegal alien [is a] formidable ethnic slur among the most dangerous
kind of slurs because it has gained wide acceptance at many levels of
society." --Columnist George Benge arguing that "illegal" is
synonymous with "[some specific] ethnicity" {}  "Like an unwelcome
specter from an unhappy past, the ominous word 'quagmire' has begun to
haunt conversations among government officials and students of foreign
policy, both here and abroad." --New York Times' R.W. Apple **Perhaps
"haunting" because any "quagmire" is known to be dead? ++ "Speaking of
the media, I have but one thing to tell you. Don't trust anything you
see on TV.... I witnessed how sensationalistic the media can be during
the Florida recount. It's even worse here. We covered a pro-Taliban
demonstration last week attended by maybe 5,000 protestors. CNN stated
there were 50,000. The BBC estimated 40,000. We're continually hearing
of 'violent clashes with police' when the TV stations report on
non-violent demonstrations we covered ourselves." --New York Times
photographer Vincent Laforet **Like the New York Times always gets it
"right"? {}  "In fact, most of the items on our political agenda ...
are ALL justified by the war on terrorism! Thanks, evildoers." --Gary
Trudeau in comic strip "Doonesbury" putting fictitious -- and
offensive -- words in President Bush's mouth. {}  "No. You don't have
a higher duty. No. No. You're a reporter!" --CBS's Mike Wallace on
whether "journalists" should have any loyalty to their own nation when
at war. ++  This week's "MediaBusters" Award recipient: "We don't want
to know. OK? They're young boys. It's scary enough. Leave 'em alone.
Everybody say it: We don't want to know.... No, it's not for us; it's
for you and your cocktail chatter at parties in D.C. But we don't want
to know. Leave our boys alone over there. All right?" -- Comedian
Dennis Miller

______----********O********----______
SOCIOCRATS

"Bill Clinton's office, located at 55 West 125th Street, is seeking
interns in its understaffed scheduling department. Intern will answer
phones, take requests, and follow through on such requests. Also will
be responsible for light computer work and keeping track of calendar.
Flexible days/hours." --Excerpt reportedly from a Columbia University
"Help Wanted" online posting **Sounds plausible, as Mr. Clinton seemed
to prefer "understaffed" positions. {}  "Support our president even
though he is a plutocratic parasitic insect that sucks the blood of
the working people." --Tony Blankley translation of political strategy
that Mr. Mary Matalin Carville urged on Demo clients {}  "You made an
ethnically and racially derogatory remark and I hope you think about
what you said. It is not appreciated. It is no longer a part of modern
English. The phrase just isn't used in good company anymore."
--Sacramento, California, City Council Member Lauren Hammond, replying
to a local lawyer's remark, "I think we should call a spade a spade."
**We checked, Ms. Hammond, and the word "spade" refers to a type of
shovel.

______----********O********----______
VILLAGE IDIOTS

"The way I see the current times, the world is like the seventh game
of the World Series. And it's the seventh inning. And we're down by
three runs. But we've got two innings left. We've got six more
at-bats. We have not been eliminated yet, you understand? And while
there's life, there's hope. But you'd have to say that we've got our
backs to the wall." --Ted Turner, likening the world's predicament to
"extreme baseball." {}  "I had accepted the fact that I would probably
just have a series of relationships ... and produce children from a
multitude of partners. I would be the female Mick Jagger.... Before
meeting George, I pondered a future with an adopted baby or a lesbian
lifestyle." --Alexandra Wentworth, new wife of Clintonista George
Stephanopoulos, on her various possible life trajectories. {}  "This
started out as a documentary on gun violence in America, but the
largest mass murder in our history was just committed -- without the
use of a single gun! Not a bullet fired! I can't stop thinking about
this. A thousand gun control laws would never have prevented this
massacre. What am I doing?" --Leftist Hollywonk Michael Moore
rethinking gun control.  {}  "Ronald Reagan, ex-President, deserves to
experience a horrible death soon, and is getting what he deserves [in
contracting Alzheimer's Disease]. ...As President, he couldn't
remember to deal with the growing AIDS pandemic, couldn't remember to
give some money to the Centers for Disease Control for drug treatment
research, couldn't remember to authorize the publication of factual
information about how the disease was being spread, etc. -- all
because he is a het supremacist, and the suffering and dying were
'only Queers.' Ronald Reagan is personally responsible for the long
and torturous deaths of hundreds of thousands of gay men in the U.S.A.
from AIDS." --Web site usQueers.com, which also lists among "het
supremacists" deserving a "horrible death": Sen. Jesse Helms {}  From
the "Village Academic Curriculum" File: Columbia University is
distributing a two-hour al Qaeda terrorist recruitment video featuring
superstar Osama bin Laden. The video, in Arabic, contains some English
commentary. Professor Richard Bulliet, the project's initiator, says,
"It is a very effective piece of propaganda."

______----********O********----______
SHORT CUTS

"Actually, you probably don't know this, but there were two turkeys
brought to Washington for this occasion. By custom, an alternate is
always on hand to fill in if needed. This one right here -- his name
is Liberty. And the other turkey, the alternate, his name is Freedom.
Now, Freedom is not here because he's in a secure and undisclosed
location." --President George W. Bush {}  "It's the Rumsfeld
transformation." --Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld pointing to a
photo of Special Forces on horseback in Afghanistan. {}  "With his
'Wanted: Dead or Alive' message, today's President Bush showed he has
his priorities straight. (Better dead than pled.)" --William Safire {}
"We had gotten to the point that even thinking about God during a
moment of silence was branded offensive. But all that changed after
Sept. 11. Now, God is discussed more than Britney Spears. And getting
better reviews, too." --Dick Feagler {}  "I've finally figured out
what to do with Osama bin Ladin if we capture him alive. Parachute him
into Iraq so we can begin bombing the hell out of the place." --Lyn
Nofziger ++  "If you don't think human cloning is scary imagine, if
you will, two Bill Clinton's, two Hillarys and two Jesse Jacksons."
--Lyn Nofziger ++  "The Taliban's fat holy men banned kite flying,
transistor radios, pulchritude in public, and clean-shaven men. ...Had
the Taliban remained in power I would not have been surprised to hear
of a jihad being declared against the Gillette Corp., whose founder --
an American, naturally -- encouraged the West's shocking facial
depilating by inventing the safety razor." --R. Emmett Tyrrell {}
"...[W]hat is 'altruism'? A terrible strategy for true-false tests."
--Bob Thaves in the comic strip "Frank & Ernest"

Jay Leno.... This Osama bin Laden guy, spoiled rich kid worth $300
million. I have three words for this guy: Anna Nicole Smith. We send
her over there, she'll get his money, he'll be dead in a week. ....
The CIA said today that the former President of Afghanistan was
castrated when the Taliban took over the country. Boy, and you thought
Clinton was worried about getting impeached! .... The Taliban is now
migrating from Kabul to the rural areas of Afghanistan to fight the
war. Rural areas? Isn't the whole country rural? Has anyone ever
mistaken Kabul for the Epcot Center? .... The latest from the Pentagon
is that in order not to risk the lives of our soldiers, we will be
sending the Amway people from cave to cave. .... Finally, this week
the French soldiers have showed up in Afghanistan. Figures -- just
like the French to show up after the hard work has been done. .... Al
Gore has taken a job as vice president of a financial company. Vice
president? What is with this guy -- he just can never get over the
hump!

David Letterman.... I don't know about you, but I feel like
Thanksgiving came early because it was so warm. I mean, to me it
doesn't feel like it's Ramadan. .... The Taliban is collapsing faster
than the New York Giants defense! .... Osama bin Laden is still hiding
in a cave with all his buddies. You know it gets tough in that close
of space and there's a lot of tension. So over the weekend Osama and
the boys got together and watched the "Jihad Bloopers Reel." ....
There are over 1,600 Marines in Afghanistan going cave to cave to get
bin Laden -- and they are all disguised as Jehovah's Witnesses. ....
President Bush has authorized the drop of 15,000-pound bombs on
Afghanistan. I believe that is the heaviest ordered drop by a
president since ... well, Monica. .... There are 10 Osama bin Laden
look-alikes in Afghanistan -- and one of them is Al Gore! .... The
news is that we have killed one out of the three top leaders of the
Taliban. So I believe that leaves Curly and Moe.

Argus Hamilton.... National Geographic announced Tuesday their
cartographers are drawing up a new map of Afghanistan. The map divides
the region according to the four tribes who now share control of the
country. They are the Army, Navy, Air Force and Marines. .... U.S.
Special Forces put down a Taliban prisoner revolt in Afghanistan
Sunday. They had to dodge random gunfire between warring ethnic groups
and heroin suppliers. Who says U.S. high schools don't provide
vocational training for the real world? .... The Professional Liars
Tournament got underway in Burlington, Wisconsin, Sunday. Each
contestant is judged on the originality of tall tales, the sincerity
of flat-out lies, and eye contact during assurances of marriage. First
prize is twenty years in Congress. .... Boston scientists announced
Sunday they have successfully cloned a human embryo for the first
time. Congress tried to outlaw the procedure in July. In a vote nobody
will forget, 350 white guys in blue suits and red ties voted
unanimously to ban cloning. .... President Bush signed an executive
order Sunday to deliver 10,000 tons of United States wheat to the
Afghanistan people. The administration is stepping up the war effort
to finish off the Taliban. We've decided to drop the Crouton Bomb.
...  ABC was flooded with complaints about the Victoria's Secret
Christmas Fashion Show, which aired last week. It wasn't needed at
all. If Americans want a teddy they can see through, the History
Channel has plenty of specials on Chappaquiddick.

(**) Denotes Editor's Comment

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