-Caveat Lector-

http://eatthestate.org/06-10/MyMothersSon.htm

My Mother's Son
by Trevor Baumgartner

As I write this from Jerusalem, I still have no idea how he's
doing: the 13-year-old-boy from Qalandia who Israeli soldiers shot
in the face. Nor do I even know his name. We kneeled, shoulder to
shoulder behind a parked car, while windows exploded like water
balloons all around us. We had nowhere to go, and the instant he
looked through the passenger side window it happened. The blast and
his blood splattering on the ground with shards of glass.

And I've no idea how he's doing. Nor do I even know his name.

Just seconds earlier, as I stood completely alone and pinched
between a car and a family bric-a-brac shop, one soldier trained
his rifle on me. I ducked down behind this car and bullets whizzed
past, dinging light poles and car doors and everything in their
way. I picked a couple of them up and pocketed them--one rubber peg
and one solid steel pellet.

Bullets are bullets. Whether rubber or rubber-coated steel or steel
or "live."

When I raised my head and peered through the windshield I saw these
soldiers bumble down the rocky hillside, straight for me. They
hurled a teargas grenade at me, and as I stumbled away, onto the
naked walkway I knew full-well how exposed I was. I knew the
soldiers were having their way with me--"smoking me out," like a
rat or some other nuisance. That's all I was to them. Just
something to be rid of. And as I stumbled through the poison gas he
took my hand, this 13-year-old boy from Qalandia, and led me to the
sanctuary of another parked car.

I don't want to talk

I went to Qalandia to gather interviews from Palestinians (and
Israeli soldiers) for a radio project I'm working on, and to
observe and document the abuses heaped on the West Bank residents
by the Occupation Forces. Soldiers let no man with a West Bank ID
into or out of Qalandia. Period. Regardless of who they are or
where they work. Numerous men from the Palestinian National
Authority Ministry of Education, armed with official Israeli
permits granting them the freedom to leave the West Bank, were
forced to wait in the holding area with all the other men. For
hours. Of course, this individual and collective detention of
people violates quite directly the IV Geneva Convention and the UN
Declaration of Human Rights, but when I asked the soldiers to
explain their actions, their response mirrors that of the
international community: silence. "I don't want to talk," the only
soldier who deigned to speak to me said. And neither do his words
matter, for my concern is not his opinion, but whether or not he
will let these men through.

Clearly this soldier wasn't moved by my presence, but a few
Palestinian teenagers strolled up and were able to occupy his time,
joking with him in Arabic. They diverted his attention long enough
so that a few of the men from the Ministry of Education could slip
through, the soldier more interested in returning insults than
manning his post. And it was just when I started to think about
this whole operation--how arbitrary the soldiers' attitudes are;
how their point is not to stem would-be "terrorists" from entering
Israel (the only people allowed into and out of the West Bank are
men with Israeli ID), but to beat and humiliate the Palestinians
into submitting to Israeli authority--that I noticed the three
soldiers climbing toward the boys.

How do I navigate my way through this?

Moments of safety or sanctuary come infrequently in the West Bank.
Near the checkpoints, you can be shot at any time by trigger-happy
Israeli soldiers. I don't mean to erase or downplay the reality of
suicide bombings by focusing so much on Israeli Occupation Forces,
but the fact is that bullets and grenades and rockets and missiles
are fired with incredibly greater frequency by Israelis than by
Palestinians. Of this there is no question. And so it is within
this context that I decided to walk into Qalandia--I could observe
the three Israeli soldiers more closely than I could at the
checkpoint. By the time I'd reached the string of shops (just a few
hundred yards), the soldiers had already fired numerous shots,
forcing the boys into the residential area.

Women and children hid behind cars and piles of rubble and scrap
metal--whatever could provide them with some protection against the
shooting--and traffic was in a confounded standstill. The
shopkeepers began closing their metal doors--and none too soon, as
rubber bullets slammed all around. It was in the midst of this
chaos that I found myself absolutely alone.

And the soldiers bumbled down the rocky hillside.

And they hurled a tear gas grenade at me.

And they shot the boy kneeling down beside me.

And I still have no idea how he's doing.

Nor do I even know his name.

He staggered off, his hand over his bleeding face, falling into a
cinder-block wall before a group of his friends scuttled him into a
nearby van, at the frantic urgings of the driver. I just wanted to
leave. To pretend I didn't just see all that. To pretend that this
place called Palestine didn't exist. To pretend that war and
bullets didn't live here. To pretend I didn't care.

I just wanted to leave.

But it hit me straight in my heart.

I am my mother's son.

And I filled myself with the courage she nursed me with and walked
through the blood and across the street and up the rocky hillside
straight in front of the soldiers. I stood there in between the
guns and the grenades and the hailing stones. I stood there because
there is no other place to stand here. There is no place for
indecision or for the indecisive. So I stood there and I belted out
with all the strength of my mother:

"IN THE FACE YOU SHOT HIM IN THE FACE IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO GO IT'S
TIME FOR YOU TO GET OFF THEIR LAND YOU SHOT HIM IN THE FACE!"

One soldier looked at me and said, "Where? In the face? Yes!" and
gave me the thumbs up. And another soldier grabbed my arm and
crouched down behind me. Was this really happening? Didn't this
soldier, not even five minutes earlier, heave a teargas grenade at
me? And now he would use me as his human shield. The stones were
getting closer, and I pushed the soldier off of me and called him a
coward and told them all that they were about to have an
international incident on their hands if they didn't get out of
Qalandia.

They expected me to go and tell the boys to stop throwing stones.
The boys who just watched these same three men shoot their friend
in the face? Those boys? Stop throwing stones? Sure. I'll tell
them. Just get off their land.

And the soldiers crawled over the fence and tried to make their way
to their jeep, which was just getting pelted by stones. I walked
off, stones falling all around me, back across the street. And by
the time I made it, the soldiers, unable to reach their jeep, were
back and the whole scene just kept deteriorating.

And where am I, anyway? Where am I that grown men are given guns to
shoot at children? Where is this place called Palestine?

I left Qalandia, and by the time I reached Jerusalem my throat had
swollen so badly that I couldn't swallow without much pain. And my
stomach roiled in revolt of what it was seeing. And I thought, "I
should be sick, here. I shouldn't be able to swallow this." And I
sat down to write out all that I just felt. And here it is.

--Trevor Baumgartner, from Jerusalem. He is writing and sending
dispatches to ETS! and other publications during his stay in the
Middle East.



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