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Hypocritical, Cowardly Chicken- Hawk Armchair Generals
by Bob Wallace
There are some things I despise to the point I can't forgive. Chicken- Hawk Armchair
Generals are one of them. People who tried as hard as they can to avoid military
service, but now have become blood-thirsty warmongers, are lower than child
molesters (they hurt many more people – in fact kill them – in case you're wondering
how I can put someone lower than a pedophile). I don't hate these armchair
generals. I'm disgusted by them and hold them in contempt.
William Bennett and his bad back, Rush Limbaugh and the boil on his butt...guess
what? I don't care! I suggest that both of them proclaim to the public they are going
to get waivers and join the military. Then they can go to Afghanistan, or better yet,
be
the first wave into Iraq. Are they all talk? Do they talk the talk but not walk the
walk?
Do they not want people to know what they really are? What are the chances they'd
be in the first wave of Higgins boats in Saving Private Ryan? I'd say: zero.
And Bennett has the nerve to write a book titled, Why We Fight. What does he
mean, "we"? He's not the one doing any fighting. The title should be, Why You
Should Fight, and Why My Lack of Cojones Prevents Me From Joining You (at least
he wrote this book, unlike The Book of Virtues, where he used others' stories and
slapped his name on the volume).
I think the same way about Richard Perle and Paul Wolfowitz. I expect them to get
waivers and proclaim loudly to the public they are going into battle. I expect no less
of Max Boot of The Wall Street Journal and the crowd at National Review (Buckley
should really clean that place up – the lack of education among the new crew is
embarrassing).
And if Donald Rumself wants to give press conferences in which he sneers at the
press, why doesn't he give them from the front lines in Afghanistan?
I expect everyone who is for this war to join the military and volunteer to be the
first
into battle. Otherwise, they're hypocrites, and I always remember what Jesus said
about hypocrites "who sound a trumpet... in the streets, so that they may have glory
in front of other men...they love standing...in the streets, that they may be seen by
other men. I say to you, They already have their reward in that." Hmm...I wonder
what he meant by the "reward" that hypocrites "already have"?
War historian John Keegan, in his book, The Face of Battle, wrote that the greatest
conqueror in history, Alexander the Great, led his men into battle. He was wounded
several times. Yeah, maybe he was crazy, but he was brave, and certainly no
hypocrite. And he certainly knew why he fought. And it wasn't to tell others to fight
while he lounged at home getting fat on taxpayer money.
After that, it was all downhill. Wellington stayed right at the limit of battle, and
when
hit with a bullet got just a bruise. U.S. Grant, overrated and underhearted, stayed out
of the battle completely. He may have said, "War is Hell," but he also commented he
never "felt as well" as he did when directing men as chesspieces, to die by the
thousands. This means he didn't care that war is Hell; he enjoyed the whole thing
immensely. He stayed completely out of the range of gunfire, couldn't stand the sight
of blood, and had his food burned to a crisp so there wouldn't be the slightest trace
of
pink in it.
Hitler was even more of coward then Grant; he never left his bunker. But Hitler
stayed in Germany, where the war was being fought. Now we've got people who
won't even go to the countries where the action is (unlike the journalists they're
trying
to shut up). Does this mean Hitler was braver than our glorious leaders? Even he
was in combat in WWI, before he lost his guts.
What next? The administration staying at home, in bed, in their jammies, directing
war from their laptops while their mommies bring them cookies and milk? ("Cool! My
dragon just ate all their peasants!")
Do any of these people have any spine at all? Any of them? Are they all cowardly and
evil, like Henry Kissinger, Robert McNarmara, Madeleine Albright? (I strongly
suspect Albright is not a woman, just a really ugly guy).
They should all be used as cannon fodder. Turnabout's fair play, right? McNamara's
so old he's going to be dead and in Hell pretty soon. He'd be no loss at all. Neither
would Kissinger or Albright. Since none of them has done anything useful (or moral)
with their lives, we might as well use them as shields for real soldiers.
I get the impression all of these ghouls think war is just some kind of game. They
enjoy playing it, as long as others are the pieces they can push around on the game
board. I suggest they become the pieces. If it was within my power, I would make it
so, instantly.
Why do so many people want to give up their freedom to false authority? Do they
think people in the government are somehow so much smarter and more moral than
we are that this gives them the right to sacrifice our lives? Ha! I'm smarter than
Dubya, Dubya's smarter than Gore, Gore's smarter than Teddy "Where's My
Underwear?" Kennedy, and my dog's more sober than Kennedy! (It's my other dog
who's smarter than Kennedy – and he's dead.)
Do these people think they are indispensible? That their lives are more important
than anyone else's? That the economy, or country, or world, would collapse without
them? Well, I've got news for them – the graveyards are full of people who thought
they were indispensible. You could get rid of everyone in government, replace them
with an equal amount of people picked at random from a phonebook, and there
wouldn't be any change. If there was, it might even be for the better.
The federal government sucks over $1.5 trillion per year out of peoples' pockets
through taxation, and yet, with all that money, the feds failed completely to catch a
bunch of dimbulbs who were giving off signs like crazy they were going to hijack
planes and fly them into buildings. And these very same klutzes think they can run
our lives, when they can't do their jobs?
It appears that Dostoevsky was right: people will gladly give up their freedom to
"miracle, mystery and authority." I see the "authority," as incompetent as it is, and
with all the secrets I see the "mystery," but where are the miracles? After spending
ten billion dollars in Afghanistan, why don't we have the country under control?
The administration can't even conjure up a little teeny tiny miracle, like getting bin
Laden's head on a platter, as was promised. The bumblers in the government still
don't know where he's at! Instead, they present us with some stupid 20-year-old
American kid and say, "So maybe we don't have Osama, but see what we've got for
you instead? Take out your frustrations on him. Don't worry about him walking away
free – sentence first, verdict afterwards!" And I used to think Alice in Wonderland
was only a children's fantasy.
It's been estimated that in the 20th century up to 200 million people were murdered
at the hands of various States. If there's anything that's permanently "weapons of
mass destruction" it's States and those who run it. And yet the mass of people – or is
it sheeple? – still trust the State, no matter how many people it kills. I find this
just
astonishing.
I like to think people ultimately get what they deserve. You might say, "As you sow,
so you shall reap." If you want to look at it from an Eastern point of view, consider
it
karma, which means, "the moral law of cause and effect." I like to think there is no
difference at all between Heaven and Hell. You just become – as C.S. Lewis
suggested in his book, The Great Divorce – what you really are.
April 22, 2002
Bob Wallace [send him mail], a former newspaper reporter and editor, and an
incurable lover of puns, lives in St. Louis.
Copyright © 2002 LewRockwell.com
Bob Wallace Archives
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