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http://www.almartinraw.com/column71.html Rednecks vs. Ragheads: Another Phony Terrorist Alert by Al Martin (September 16) The latest phony terrorist "incident" bespeaks volumes about both the United States and the so-called "War on Terrorism." The incident on Friday September 13th began when three young men of apparently Middle Eastern extraction stopped for breakfast at a coffee shop in Georgia. The waitress in Cobb County, Georgia (The Yee Haw Capital of the United States) was one of those old bleached blonde Georgia trailer park crackers, who didn't even know how many kids she had. You get the picture. Anyway she waited on these guys and after they left, she immediately called the police and told them that she "heard these A-Rabs and they wuz talkin' about Ex-Plosives." Then she added that she couldn't understand them because "they wuz A-Rabs." In this environment, you can imagine where it went. The Georgia State Police called the local FEMA and the FEMA called the Office of Homeland Security. Then an officer from the Office of Homeland Security talks to this gal from his office in Washington and, of course, he could hardly understand what she was saying. This guy said that the reason the response teams took so long is because they couldn't understand what she was saying. And the reason he couldn't understand? She said "I was so dang nervous, I had to have me a chaw of tobacc-er." So she was chewing and talking at the same time. They're complaining that they're short of translators. They should start advertising for "Billy Bob" translators. Requirements are -- Chewing tobacco. Eating barbequed ribs. Must have pickup truck with Confederate flag. Anyway the waitress made note of the car and gave them a description and even the license plate. They knew the car was heading south and the Office of Homeland Security contacts the Florida State Police and gets them in a lather. Finally they find the car on I-75, crossing into the State of Florida in the famous "Alligator Alley." The car is then stopped and they use 19 state police cars and 4 helicopters to stop these 3 guys. They determined that one was of Iraqi descent, one was of Iranian descent and one was of Saudi descent, but in fact they're all US citizens. They handcuff them and shackle their legs and search the cars but they couldn't find any explosives. They brought in dogs. They found no explosives, no illegal currency, and no inflammatory Muslim literature. Absolutely nothing. These three guys kept trying to talk and since Florida is no different than Georgia, the Florida State Police were trying to understand these guys but they're so stupid they thought these guys had an Arab accent. Actually they didn't. As it turns out these men are very well educated and spoke in slightly clipped British accents. They spoke beautiful English. No wonder the hayseeds couldn't understand them. So here are the "A-Rab" suspects that are able to speak better English than those who are after them. The Florida Police couldn't understand them either. They showed this great big Florida cop named "Bo-Bo." His name was Captain Bobo and he was practically bald, his haircut was so short. He also distinguished himslef by wearing his State Trooper hat on with the strap backwards. This guy says in a real thick Billy bob accent, "Well, we caint unnerstan these folks." This phony terrorist incident was then stretched into an all day news event on Friday, September 13. The real reason it took so long for the intelligence to pass back and forth is that none of the Americans who were talking to each other could understand each other. But the Arabs could understand what everyone was saying, and no one could understand the Arabs because they were significantly better educated and better spoken than all of the other people, from the cracker waitress to the state police and everybody else involved. The Arabs were completely scared because they couldn't understand the way these people were talking either. They didn't even think these people were speaking English. The funny thing is that the so-called would be "terrorists" were more frightened of "us" because they were frightened that "we" couldn't speak English. We understand that the FBI is looking for interpreters who can speak Arabic and Farsi, but they really should be looking for interpreters who can speak "Billy Bob" or "Yeehaw" -- that foreign language they speak south of the Mason Dixon line. The men were medical students and one of them said that this was the first time he ever got pulled over by 700 cops -- 700 tobacco chewing cops with buzz-cuts, he should have added. The Florida State Cops were admonished because when they pulled these guys over, the cops could not pronounce nor could they remember their names so they kept addressing them as "Ahab the A-Rab." In other news, on September 9, the US Mint announced that they are beginning to redesign the nation's coinage -- from the one cent to the new fifty-cent piece. The mint announced they want to redesign the coinage in the spirit of "The New Era of State Security." The Federal Eagle, which is now on the back of the Washington quarter, called the Federal neo-Greco Romanesque eagle, will change as will the heraldic eagle, which is featured on the back of the half dollar. They will be changed to the New Imperial State Eagle that the post office is using on the 57-cent stamp. The US Mint has announced that the redesigned coinage is meant to reflect the New Power of the State. There was even a debate about the new half dollar -- whether to put George Bush on it. This may seem extreme to some citizens, but it's interesting to note that there was a provision that was recently snuck on to a small security appropriation, which hardly anyone knows about. It was a provision to remove the restriction about having living people put on US coinage. As the law stands now, no edifice of a living person can appear on US coinage, but the Bush Administration now wants to overturn it. That law has existed for a very long time -- since the end of the Civil War. Maybe there will even be US postage stamps with live Bush Cabalists. Imagine a John Ashcroft stamp or a Richard Armitage commemorative stamp. It could be called the Bush Cabal Commemorative series. For instance on the Richard Armitage stamp, there would be the legend -- "Never saw a kilo of cocaine he didn't want to traffic in." They will all have their Official Legends. There's also a big movement now in Virginia to have Oliver North put on a postage stamp. His fan club is pressing Congress to do this. The stamp will have "Oliver North" on the bottom with a head shot of him and the legend will read "Never saw a document he didn't want to shred." I think it's a good idea. I also heard what Sen. John Warner, one of the most ardent Bush Cabalists in the Senate and the mouthpiece of the Bush Administration, said. He never liked the idea of the Kennedy half-dollar, but he likes the idea of putting George Bush on the front of a new 50-cent piece -- with a crown on his head. It was at a cocktail party in Alexandria and they were talking about putting George Bush on the obverse design of a new 50-cent piece. Maybe it will say, "Georgus I, Rex Imperius Americanus FD (Defender of the Faith)" The Bushes have always been enamored of the British custom of imprinting Latin legends on coins -- as in Elizabeth II De Gratia. The legend that has been discussed is "Georgus I De Gratia Rex Statum Americanum Imp: FD" This would translate as "George the First by the Grace of God, King-Emperor of the United States, Defender of the Faith." This reminds us of the painting of George Washington in the Capitol Building, in which he is portrayed as rising into the clouds. This is called apotheosis, wherein the human is translated into the divine by imperial decree. The Bushes want to bring back the Roman Salad Days, when a man was a man and he had as many boys as he wanted… There's a new commercial sponsored by the American Ad Council that's akin to the one we wrote about in which a kid comes into a library and asks for a book and he's told that the book has been put on the seditious list. Then the librarian pushes a button and two guys in JC Penney suits and Rayban sunglasses take him away. This new commercial is a full sixty-second spot, and it is beautifully done. It shows a city and the police cars in the city have "State Security" on the side, not "Police" The officers have gray uniforms with gray helmets and face visors. You can hear the whirr of the domestic surveillance hover drones and there are blockades everywhere with signs warning citizens to have their National ID cards ready. A kid comes by in an old car and he's dressed in camouflage fatigues and he's got a beret on and the State Security runs his license and they say that he's a "Suspected 312" And they show you that "Suspected 312" is "suspected smuggler of seditious publications" and they chase him through this tunnel, stop him, handcuff him and start searching the car. Under the backseat, they find all these newspapers, which have already been stamped "Seditious." Then they show the State Security confiscating them and driving the kid to a facility with barbed wire with a sign that reads something like Civilian Detention Facility Block No 1438B. It's all these gray cement buildings with no windows and barbed wire. They showed this TV spot on CNN, but it's a great counterpoint to all this Sickly Sweet Patriotism going on today on the Anniversary of 9-11. They also showed Rudy Giuliani and Governor Pataki cheering on the crowd as in, "Come on boys; let's have a rally; it's patriotic to buy stocks today." You don't have to worry about the incessant economic malfeasance of the Bush Cabal, which is driving stock prices lower. Be patriotic and buy stock. But the atmosphere has been so sickly sweet I even kept the Fluffster, the American Dissident Cat, inside today. Also there's another new public service ad for AmeriCorp Volunteers. It shows an employment office, and there's people lined up with their resumes and there's a government worker with a bunch of different rubber stamps. The first guy in line hands her a resume and says, "Well, I want to be a volunteer fireman." And she looks at the resume and stamps the resume with a rubber stamp - Under qualified. And hands it back to him. Then a woman in back of him hands in her resume and says, "I want to be a volunteer policewoman." And she hands her the resume and again the woman stamps it - Underqualified. Then the third person in line (of all people) is Ollie North. He hands her his resume and she asks him, "Well Colonel, what kind of volunteer job do you want?" And he says, "I want to be a Volunteer Document Shredder." And she looks at his resume and stamps it - BOMP-- Overqualified. And she hands it back to him, and he goes away with a look of disappointment on his face. In his recent speech, Bush mentioned that stock prices are coming back and there have been substantial rallies in high technology stocks and some have even doubled in the last month. It's true, but what he's not saying is the rest of the story. For instance, people bought Nortel Networks and Lucent Technologies at about $50. Then the stock went down to a buck. And now the stock has doubled to two dollars. And when he says that high technology stocks have doubled in recent weeks, it's true that the stock went from one buck to two bucks. Of course, what he isn't saying is that most people are into it at fifty. Coincidentally Eli Lilly announced that Prozac sales are at an all time high and they're coming out with a new improved time released mega Prozac. The Eli Lilly representative said it was apropos to the time. They showed a point of purchase display for pharmacy counters. It has a photo of people looking down at their 401(K) statements. They're looking really depressed, and the caption says, "Life Sucks. Take Prozac. " The IRS just announced with great fanfare that it's changing directions. They actually hired an outside public relations firm to announce their new direction. They said that since the very day George Bush was elected (never mind him getting in office) the Republicans in Congress have been pressuring the IRS to devote less resources to investigating wealthy Republican Scamscateers and to devote more resources to investigating "misuse" of the Earned Income Tax Credit by the working poor, where the Republicans say there's "an awful lot of fraud down there at the bottom." As the IRS points out, the most you can scam out of it is $517. It simply isn't possible to scam them out of any more money using the Earned Income Tax Credit. They said that when Orrin Hatch said there's an awful lot of fraud at the bottom, he was being rather disingenuous. The IRS has said that for every dollar they've spent, they've recovered just seventeen cents from the working poor. Even the IRS noted just how political this was, insofar as 92 % of the working poor that take advantage of this tax credit are Democrats. This was front page in all the major papers. The IRS is making a big deal out of this on purpose. The reason is to get public cover because they say they're going to stand up to the Bush Cabal and they will no longer be kowtowing to them and they will shift a massive amount of investigative assets to investigating Republican Scamscateers. As in - where did WorldCom Founder Bernie Ebbers' $408 million go? The New York Post has a big picture of Tyco Chairman Dennis Kozlowski and the headline reads "Oink Oink." And they say that fervent Bushonian Cabalist and notorious Republican Scamscateer Dennis Kozlowski will be their first target. Then they said, "The Bush White House has remained suspiciously silent in front of the new IRS onslaught." IRS Chief Chuck Rossotti himself is mixed up in so much nonsense that this is one way to deflect any criticism of him. Using its investigative resources, Al Martin Raw.com found out that immediately after the announcement by the IRS, the Federal Reserve International Wire Transfer reported substantial outflows from high profile Republicans to their numbered off-shore accounts. Even the mainstream media has started using the word "Republican" in front of Scamscateers. I get criticized on radio shows for this all the time and I say you can't help it because they have all the money. People say certainly there are Democrats too and I say sure there's a few. That's why when the Trafficants of this world come along, the government goes after them so hard and makes such a big deal out of them. But they're a rare breed. Statistically, the top 1% of the people control two-thirds of the wealth of the nation, and 78% of them are Republicans. 74% of all people in the United States, whose net worth is above $3 million, are Republicans. 68% of all those who earn more than $250,000 a year are Republicans. To put "Republican" in front of "Scamscateers" is just natural. Of all the insurance swindles, banking swindles, oil and gas swindles, real estate swindles, or all the frauds committed in the nation - 92% of scams above $2 million are committed by Republicans. And here's a final note of encouragement for all those so-called "patriots" who buy American Flags Made in China. According to a recent press release by Sinecom, the Chinese State news agency, 83 % of the American flags sold in the United States are made in China. Sinecom reported that the unexpectedly large increase in export revenues, due to the sales of Chinese-made US flags in the United States, allowed the Chinese military to build four additional thermonuclear tipped intercontonental ballistic missiles, which are now targeted at American cities. Remember that flying a flag on your car reduces the fuel efficiency by 5% -- per flag. So all of you flag wavers who insist on wearing your patriotism on you shirtsleeves, you just continue to buy American flags. Your Uncle Sam doesn't need you, but the Chinese Government and the Big Oil Companies do. It brings to mind the words of the late Communist dictator Nikita Krushchev, who said something like -- "You Americans are so stupid, you'll sell us the rope we'll hang you with." <A HREF="http://www.ctrl.org/">www.ctrl.org</A> DECLARATION & DISCLAIMER ========== CTRL is a discussion & informational exchange list. Proselytizing propagandic screeds are unwelcomed. Substance—not soap-boxing—please! 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