Looking back through my life up to this time I am able to see
some examples of reclaiming personal power of stealing the fire from
the external world so that it finds its place with in me to fuel my
will.
The story of reclaiming my fire has come to me in the form of
going back to school to claim a bachelors degree in Wellness and
Alternative Medicine. This is the clearest example of going out into
the world with the intention of "getting mine".
Traveling through the memories I can see that It was extremely
difficult to see the value of doing what was right for me. What made
this difficult to realize was that fact that doing what was right for
me affected other people in a negative manner at what was the
"immediate time". This is where the reality of the decision become
apparent because the relationships between the people who are closest
to the "decision" to reclaim what is essentially a birth right may
change against the will of those are involved. A decision is what gets
the ball rolling to change the course of event that provide the
unfolding of occurances to issue in a new way of living.
The intent to change or to make the decision to trail blaze a
personal path to reclaim a part of the self that has been alienated,
enables a person to exist in a world where their internal response to
the external environment provides experiences of where a person is
preventing themselves from being consumed by the present time. It is
difficult to articulate out right so to get back to the story is where
the meaning may become clear.
Two years ago I was seriously contemplating coming back to
college. I had been toying around with the idea for some time, My
life was moving in the direction of the ordinary adult life. I was
at a job where I was enjoying a great work environment where their was
upword mobility. This was besides the relationship that I was in,
where we were poised to make the transition into the world through the
experience of marriage.
My life was not at that time providing nme with experience
that where challenging me to become more of who I am. What is
important to endevor to understand is that our individual potential
exists at all times but what for some reason their seems tio be the
nessacity to interaxct with the exteranl world to express the "self"
to "life".
Before I made the conscious decision to enroll in school at
JSC I felt the world was closing in on me. I was allowing then world
to define "me", I was approaching a sitaution to act on my hearts
desire to move forward in my life. I feel very fortunate to have
understood this need in a constructive manner and not a self
destrcutive manner. As the days passed during the summer of 2007 my
life was an emotionel upheaval on a daily bases. The altering of
intent gave me a glance at a clearer expression of who I am. The
clarity is dynamic, the internal world becomes more at peace and the
external world is able to understand the individuals communication
with it. The communication is more effective because the a person is
relating more of whom they are and not what they are trying to be.
When I made the decision "public" the world I had
established began falling apart, I look back upon this and I see that
my priorties had changed so the relationships that I was part of began
to taker a back seat to what I was preparing to become part of. I was
letting go of what I was trying to be so that I could become more I of
what my dreams where telling me "I am".
In short the decision to act on the intuition to embark on
the journey towards an undergraduate degree has lead to me to express
myself In ways that I was not aware I was capable of. I have taken
leaps and bounds towards reclaiming my fire and of finding ways of
expressing it in a manner that tells the story of my life up to this
time.
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