i typed part of chapter 2 of "be a teammate with yourself". here below is my
typing.
# Chapter 2: Safety Is The Primary Consideration
This chapter aims to:
1) Discuss the common challenges in life and suggest some possible
solutions
2) Assist readers to devise their own crisis plans and remain safe
Safety is the primary issue in the journey of recovery. It is very difficult
for a person in danger to manage his/her negative experiences (e.g., anxiety,
sadness, panic, helplessness, anger), let alone cope with the symptoms. Ongoing
trauma and chronic stress could make the symptoms worse. Therefore, in case you
live in a traumatic or stressful environment that is obviously influencing you,
it is important for you to consider changing the situation or staying away from
it.
If you live with a person who repeatedly abuses or hurts you, no matter whether
it is physically or emotionally, you need to think about whether you can stop
his/her harmful behaviors or you should stay away from him/her.
For a little child, since self-protection is not possible, it is necessary for
a child to depend on other people (e.g., parents or caretakers). This makes a
child easily hurt. While you can't control or prevent what happened in the
past, when you grow up, you become more able to protect yourself.
It is not easy to change your living situation. It can be a very difficult
decision. You may have many considerations to work through. For example, you
may think that he/she does not have the intention to hurt you, or that he/she
only has some misunderstanding or bad habits. Or, you may not want a
relationship breakup because he/she is one of the important persons in your
life. Also, what comes to your mind may be: are you financially independent
enough to leave the one who hurts you? Can you live without having his/her
support? It is totally understandable to have many concerns and worries.
However, if you still live in a traumatic or stressful environment, your mood
may continue to be affected.
You may want to discuss your situation with someone who you can trust, or you
can seek help from helping professionals (e.g., social workers, psychologists,
medical doctors). You can at least hear what they have to say. They may also
provide you with some resources. If there are financial or housing problems
that affect your decision, they may also give you some advice. Helping
professionals should be more familiar with the local community resources that
you may find helpful. In case of immediate risk (e.g., family violence, child
abuse), you should also find helping professionals and/or emergency service
providers to ensure your own safety and the safety of vulnerable family members
at home (e.g., children).
Having care and support from family, partners and friends is very important for
recovery. If you have support from others, you can discuss your problems with
them, and seek help from them, physically or spiritually. For some survivors,
however, it may be difficult to have enough care and support from others. We
should be grateful when we have someone who is willing to support us. Sometimes
your family members or friends may misunderstand your mental health problems,
or they may have done something that hurt you. This could be very upsetting for
you, but you need to know that not everyone is familiar with mental health and
psychology and has enough knowledge. Of course, if this leads to a lot of
traumatic and stressful experiences, you need to consider changing the
situation or staying away from it, as mentioned above. Otherwise, you may want
to have a sincere communication with the persons involved, acknowledge their
support, tell them your feelings, and provide some accurate information for
them, if possible and if they want it. If this is not very possible, you may
need to think about how to avoid conflicts and stress.
