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It was at a five o'clock tea. A young man came to the hostess to apologize
for his lateness."So good of you to come, Mr. Jones, and where is your
brother?""You see we're very busy in the office and only one of us could
come, so we tossed up for it.""How nice! And so original, too! And you
won?""No," said the young man absently," I lost!" 
One Saturday afternoon the grasshopper, the snail, and the centipede were
sitting around the grasshopper's house drinking beer.They ran out of beer
before they were ready to quit drinking, so they decided one of them should
go out for more beer.The snail said, "I'd go, but I'm kind of slow. Besides,
Grasshopper, this is your neighborhood so you know where to go."The
grasshopper said, "I don't mind going, but my hopping will shake up the beer
and we'll get sprayed every time we open one."So they decided to send the
centipede; and the grasshopper explained how to get to the nearest liquor
store.An hour or so passed and still the centipede hadn't returned, so the
snail and the grasshopper decided to go look for him.They got as far as the
the front door and found the centipede sitting there putting on his shoes.
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