--- Begin Message ---
Package: htag
Version: 0.0.23-2
Severity: normal
My collection of tag files is slowly being converted to UTF-8, and
'htag' is miscalculating the text width when formatting taglines that
contain Unicode characters.
Using this signature template (the '=====' delimits the file content
in this message and is not part of the file):
=====
--
\ @64R@ |
`\ @64R@ |
_o__) @64R@ |
Ben Finney
=====
I've attached this signature template, along with two sample tagline
files, 'wright.tag' and 'dna.tag'.
The following output was generated using the tagfile 'wright.tag',
which contains no non-ASCII characters:
=====
--
\ "I was in Las Vegas, at the roulette table, having a furious |
`\ argument over what I considered to be an odd number." -- |
_o__) Steven Wright |
Ben Finney
=====
The following output was generated using the tagfile 'dna.tag', which
contains Unicode characters in every tagline:
=====
--
\ “[On the Internet,] power and control will shift to those who |
`\ are actually contributing something useful rather than just |
_o__) having lunch.” —Douglas Adams |
Ben Finney
=====
The first example is fine; the lines all occupy the specified with in
the template.
The second is incorrectly formatted: it seems the width of the
characters has been incorrectly calculated, resulting in text
occupying less space than specified in the template.
-- System Information:
Debian Release: lenny/sid
APT prefers testing
APT policy: (500, 'testing'), (500, 'stable')
Architecture: powerpc (ppc64)
Kernel: Linux 2.6.24-1-powerpc64 (SMP w/2 CPU cores)
Locale: LANG=en_AU.UTF-8, LC_CTYPE=en_AU.UTF-8 (charmap=UTF-8) (ignored: LC_ALL
set to en_AU.UTF-8)
Shell: /bin/sh linked to /bin/bash
Versions of packages htag depends on:
ii perl 5.8.8-12 Larry Wall's Practical Extraction
htag recommends no packages.
-- no debconf information
--
\ @64R@ |
`\ @64R@ |
_o__) @64R@ |
Ben Finney
# vim: set sts=4 et noai tw=0 :
"There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an
idiot." -- Steven Wright
"I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered
French Toast during the Renaissance." -- Steven Wright
"On the other hand, you have different fingers." -- Steven Wright
"I went over to the neighbor's and asked to borrow a cup of salt. 'What are you
making?' 'A salt lick.'" -- Steven Wright
"I went camping and borrowed a circus tent by mistake. I didn't notice until I
got it set up. People complained because they couldn't see the lake." --
Steven Wright
"I went to a garage sale. 'How much for the garage?' 'It's not for sale.'" --
Steven Wright
"I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart." -- Steven Wright
"I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I
said, 'Got any shoes you're not using?'" -- Steven Wright
"My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted." -- Steven Wright
"Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country." -- Steven
Wright
"I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone." -- Steven Wright
"If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate." --
Steven Wright
"'Did you sleep well?' 'No, I made a couple of mistakes.'" -- Steven Wright
"I have two very rare photographs. One is a picture of Houdini locking his keys
in his car. The other is a rare photograph of Norman Rockwell beating up a
child." -- Steven Wright
"I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and
four people died." -- Steven Wright
"I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the
place." -- Steven Wright
"It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it." -- Steven Wright
"What's another word for Thesaurus?" -- Steven Wright
"When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot,
then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving." -- Steven
Wright
"When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms
with me. I said, 'Well, what do you need?'" -- Steven Wright
"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths." --
Steven Wright
"If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?" -- Steven Wright
"I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it."
-- Steven Wright
"I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add." -- Steven Wright
"My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll
give me the other one next year." -- Steven Wright
"The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky
must get awfully crowded." -- Steven Wright
"I was in the grocery store. I saw a sign that said 'pet supplies'. So I did.
Then I went outside and saw a sign that said 'compact cars'." -- Steven Wright
"I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't
see any forests." -- Steven Wright
"If you write the word 'monkey' a million times, do you start to think you're
Shakespeare?" -- Steven Wright
"My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment
somewhere." -- Steven Wright
"Smoking cures weight problems. Eventually." -- Steven Wright
"Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, 'What for?'" -- Steven
Wright
"I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes."
-- Steven Wright
"I moved into an all-electric house. I forgot and left the porch light on all
day. When I got home the front door wouldn't open." -- Steven Wright
"You know how it is when you go to be the subject of a psychology experiment,
and nobody else shows up, and you think maybe that's part of the experiment?
I'm like that all the time." -- Steven Wright
"I used to be an airline pilot. I got fired because I kept locking the keys in
the plane. They caught me on an 80 foot stepladder with a coathanger." --
Steven Wright
"I know the guy who writes all those bumper stickers. He hates New York." --
Steven Wright
"I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can
get me five." -- Steven Wright
"I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone."
-- Steven Wright
"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa
Claus is missing." -- Steven Wright
"I went to a fancy French restaurant called 'Déjà Vu'. The head waiter said,
'Don't I know you?'" -- Steven Wright
"I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it." -- Steven Wright
"I was in a job interview and I opened a book and started reading. Then I said
to the guy, 'Let me ask you a question. If you are in a spaceship that is
traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything
happen?' He said, 'I don't know.' I said, 'I don't want your job.'" -- Steven
Wright
"I was in the first submarine. Instead of a periscope, they had a kaleidoscope.
'We're surrounded.'" -- Steven Wright
"When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year.
I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety." -- Steven
Wright
"I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time." --
Steven Wright
"Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. They lay there and
looked at each other. Their families came and took them away. Eighty years
later, by a bizarre coincidence, they lay in the same hospital, on their
deathbeds, next to each other. One of them looked at the other and said, 'So.
What did you think?'" -- Steven Wright
"I spent all my money on a FAX machine. Now I can only FAX collect." -- Steven
Wright
"It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay
right up there. Hunters would be all confused." -- Steven Wright
"I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once
in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, 'I think I might have
written that.'" -- Steven Wright
"When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an
only child... eventually." -- Steven Wright
"I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings. 'Boy With Pail'.
'Kitten On Fire'." -- Steven Wright
"I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically."
-- Steven Wright
"I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was
locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours.' He
said, 'Yes, but not in a row.'" -- Steven Wright
"For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier. I put them in the same
room and let them fight it out." -- Steven Wright
"I filled my humidifier with wax. Now my room is all shiny." -- Steven Wright
"Today I dialed a wrong number. The other person said, 'Hello?' and I said,
'Hello, could I speak to Joey?'. They said, 'Uh, I don't think so... he's only
2 months old.' I said, 'I'll wait.'" -- Steven Wright
"I installed a skylight in my apartment. The people who live above me are
furious!" -- Steven Wright
"In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often
I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman
in Germany. She said, 'Cut it out.'" -- Steven Wright
"I have a microwave fireplace in my house. The other night I laid down in front
of the fire for the evening in two minutes." -- Steven Wright
"Winny and I lived in a house that ran on static electricity. If you wanted to
run the blender, you had to rub balloons on your head. If you wanted to cook,
you had to pull off a sweater real quick." -- Steven Wright
"My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood
kids I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw
it at them." -- Steven Wright
"The other night I came home late, and tried to unlock my house with my car
keys. I started the house up. So, I drove it around for a while. I was
speeding, and a cop pulled me over. He asked where I lived. I said, 'right
here, officer'. Later, I parked it on the freeway, got out, and yelled at all
the cars, 'Get out of my driveway!'" -- Steven Wright
"My house is on the median strip of a highway. You don't really notice, except
I have to leave the driveway doing 60 MPH." -- Steven Wright
"I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they
wouldn't have to go so fast." -- Steven Wright
"I have an answering machine in my car. It says, 'I'm home now. But leave a
message and I'll call when I'm out.'" -- Steven Wright
"Last year we drove across the country. We switched on the driving... every
half mile. We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip. I don't
remember what it was." -- Steven Wright
"I saw a sign: 'Rest Area 25 Miles'. That's pretty big. Some people must be
really tired." -- Steven Wright
"A cop stopped me for speeding. He said, 'Why were you going so fast?' I said,
'See this thing my foot is on? It's called an accelerator. When you push down
on it, it sends more gas to the engine. The whole car just takes right off. And
see this thing? This steers it.'" -- Steven Wright
"One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, 'Didn't you
see the stop sign?' I said, 'Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read.'" --
Steven Wright
"The judge asked, 'What do you plead?' I said, 'Insanity, your honour. Who in
their right mind would park in the passing lane?'" -- Steven Wright
"When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot,
then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving." -- Steven
Wright
"Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone. When I came back the entire area
was missing." -- Steven Wright
"I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep. Mom said, 'Steven, time to
go to sleep.' I said, 'But I don't know how.' She said, 'It's real easy. Just
go down to the end of tired and hang a left.' So I went down to the end of
tired, and just out of curiosity I hung a right. My mother was there, and she
said 'I thought I told you to go to sleep.'" -- Steven Wright
"I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering." -- Steven Wright
"I bought a self learning record to learn Spanish. I turned it on and went to
sleep; the record got stuck. The next day I could only stutter in Spanish." --
Steven Wright
"Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He
caught every other fish." -- Steven Wright
"I bought a dog the other day. I named him Stay. It's fun to call him. 'Come
here, Stay! Come here, Stay!' He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps
typing." -- Steven Wright
"I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on
them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles." -- Steven Wright
"I was born by Caesarian section. But not so you'd notice. It's just that when
I leave a house, I go out through the window." -- Steven Wright
"When I was little, my grandfather used to make me stand in a closet for five
minutes without moving. He said it was elevator practice." -- Steven Wright
"I was arrested today for scalping low numbers at the deli. Sold a number 3 for
28 bucks." -- Steven Wright
"I was once walking through the forest alone and a tree fell right in front of
me, and I didn't hear it." -- Steven Wright
"I used to be a narrator for bad mimes." -- Steven Wright
"You can't have everything; where would you put it?" -- Steven Wright
"If you can't hear me sometimes, it's because I'm in parentheses." -- Steven
Wright
"About four years ago, I was -- no, it was yesterday." -- Steven Wright
"Today, I was -- no, that wasn't me." -- Steven Wright
"Sometimes I -- no, I don't." -- Steven Wright
"I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape
of a house." -- Steven Wright
"I bought some batteries, but they weren't included; so I had to buy them
again." -- Steven Wright
"I was stopped by the police for speeding; they said 'Don't you know the speed
limit is 55 miles an hour?' I said 'Yeah I know, but I wasn't going to be out
that long.'" -- Steven Wright
"When I was a baby I kept a diary. Recently I was re-reading it, it said 'Day
1: Still tired from the move. Day 2: Everybody talks to me like I'm an idiot.'"
-- Steven Wright
"I'm having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I feel like I've forgotten
this before sometime." -- Steven Wright
"I used to be a proofreader for a skywriting company." -- Steven Wright
"I fly Air Bizarre. You buy a combination one-way round-trip ticket. Leave any
Monday, and they bring you back the previous Friday. That way you still have
the weekend." -- Steven Wright
"I went to court for a parking ticket; I pleaded insanity. I said 'Your Honour,
who in their right mind parks in the passing lane?'" -- Steven Wright
"If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet?" -- Steven Wright
"I know when I'm going to die, because my birth certificate has an expiration
date." -- Steven Wright
"I got an answering machine for my phone. Now when someone calls me up and I'm
not home, they get a recording of a busy signal." -- Steven Wright
"I lost a button-hole." -- Steven Wright
"I like to skate on the other side of the ice." -- Steven Wright
"I like to reminisce with people I don't know. Granted, it takes longer." --
Steven Wright
"I like to fill my bathtub up with water, then turn the shower on and pretend
I'm in a submarine that's been hit." -- Steven Wright
"I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day, because that means it's
gonna be up all night." -- Steven Wright
"You know when you're sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just on
two legs, and then you lean too far and you almost fall over, but just at the
last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time." -- Steven
Wright
"I have a map of the United States; it's actual size. It says '1 mile equals 1
mile'... Last summer, I folded it." -- Steven Wright
"My girlfriend has a queen sized bed; I have a court jester sized bed. It's red
and green and has bells on it, and the ends curl up." -- Steven Wright
"I got a postcard from my best friend, it was a satellite picture of the entire
Earth. On the back he wrote, 'Wish you were here'." -- Steven Wright
"I met my girlfriend in Macy's; she was buying clothes, and I was putting
Slinkies on the escalators." -- Steven Wright
"Having sex with Rachel is like going to a concert. She yells a lot, and throws
frisbees around the room; and when she wants more, she lights a match." --
Steven Wright
"Yesterday I saw a subliminal advertising executive for just a second." --
Steven Wright
"I got contacts, but I only need them when I read, so I got flip-ups." --
Steven Wright
"I got up the other day, and everything in my apartment has been stolen and
replaced with an exact replica." -- Steven Wright
"I just got out of the hospital; I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a
bookmark and flew across the room." -- Steven Wright
"I went to a museum where all the artwork was done by children. They had all
the paintings up on refrigerators." -- Steven Wright
"I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues
that are in all the other museums." -- Steven Wright
"I like my dental hygenist, I think she's very pretty; so when I go to have my
teeth cleaned, while I'm in the waiting room I eat an entire box of cookies."
-- Steven Wright
"I couldn't find my socks, so I called Information. I said 'Hello,
Information?' She said 'Yes?' I said 'I can't find my socks.' She said
'They're behind the couch.' And they were." -- Steven Wright
"I got thrown out of a movie theatre for bringing my own food in. My argument
was 'The concession stand prices are outrageous. Besides, I haven't had a good
barbecue in a long time.'" -- Steven Wright
"I went to the cinema, it said 'Adults: $5.00, Children $2.50'. So I said 'Give
me two boys and a girl.'" -- Steven Wright
"One time I went to a drive-in in a cab. The movie cost me ninety-five
dollars." -- Steven Wright
"Every night I go home and I stare at my rug and try to move it using
telekenesis. I've been doing that every night for eight years; the rug hasn't
moved an inch. The rest of the house is gone." -- Steven Wright
"I was in Las Vegas, at the roulette table, having a furious argument over what
I considered to be an odd number." -- Steven Wright
"I have a large seashell collection, which I keep scattered on the beaches all
over the world. Maybe you've seen it." -- Steven Wright
"The Stones, I love the Stones; I can't believe they're still doing it after
all these years. I watch them whenever I can: Fred, Barney, ..." -- Steven
Wright
"Last summer I drove cross-country with a friend, we split the driving; we
switched every half-mile. The whole way across we only had one cassette tape to
listen to; I don't remember what it was." -- Steven Wright
"When I first moved into my house there was a switch on the wall that didn't
control any lights or anything; I'd just flick it up and down every once in a
while. About a month later I got a letter from a woman in Germany, saying 'Cut
it out!'" -- Steven Wright
# vim: set sts=4 et noai tw=0 :
“Anything that gets invented after you're thirty is against the natural order
of things and the beginning of the end of civilisation as we know it until it's
been around for about ten years when it gradually turns out to be alright
really.” —Douglas Adams
“Interactivity. Many-to-many communications. Pervasive networking. [...]
elements in our lives so fundamental that, before we lost them, we didn't even
know to have names for them.” —Douglas Adams
“If it ain't bust don't fix it is a very sound principle and remains so despite
the fact that I have slavishly ignored it all my life.” —Douglas Adams
“[On the Internet,] power and control will shift to those who are actually
contributing something useful rather than just having lunch.” —Douglas Adams
“Working out the social politics of who you can trust and why is, quite
literally, what a very large part of our brain has evolved to do.” —Douglas
Adams
“One of the most important things you learn from the internet is that there is
no 'them' out there. It's just an awful lot of 'us'.” —Douglas Adams
“[W]e are still the first generation of users, and for all that we may have
invented the net, we still don't really get it.” —Douglas Adams
“There was a point to this story, but it has temporarily escaped the
chronicler's mind.” —Douglas Adams
“We are not gonna be great; we are not gonna be amazing; we are gonna be
*amazingly* amazing!” —Zaphod Beeblebrox, _The Hitch-Hiker's Guide To The
Galaxy_, Douglas Adams
“We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!” —Vroomfondel, _The
Hitch-Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy_, Douglas Adams
“The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a
lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.” —Douglas
Adams, _The Restaurant at the End of the Universe_
“Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable. Let us prepare to
grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.”
—Douglas Adams, _Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency_
“A computer terminal is not some clunky old television with a typewriter in
front of it. It is an interface where the mind and body can connect with the
universe and move bits of it about.” —Douglas Adams, _Mostly Harmless_
“Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the
experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to
do so.” —Douglas Adams, _Last Chance To See_
“The great thing about being the only species that makes a distinction between
right and wrong is that we can make up the rules for ourselves as we go along.”
—Douglas Adams, _Last Chance To See_
“Don't you try to outweird me, I get stranger things than you free with my
breakfast cereal.” —Zaphod Beeblebrox, _The Restaurant At The End Of The
Universe_, Douglas Adams
“I really didn't foresee the Internet. But then, neither did the computer
industry. Not that that tells us very much of course - the computer industry
didn't even foresee that the century was going to end.” —Douglas Adams
“My belief and my hope is that the speed of response of the internet will
re-introduce us to that from which our political systems have separated us for
so long, the consequences of our own actions.” —Douglas Adams
“[T]he speed of response of the internet will re-introduce us to that from
which our political systems have separated us for so long, the consequences of
our own actions.” —Douglas Adams
“Then other people say, But of course - six times nine does equal 42 in base
thirteen, was that the joke? I say, No, I don't actually make jokes in base
thirteen and I don't know anybody who does. It was just a joke.” —Douglas Adams
“Ford flipped the switch which he saw was now marked ‘Mode Execute Ready’
instead of the now old-fashioned ‘Access Standby’ which had so long ago
replaced the appallingly stone-aged ‘Off’.” —Douglas Adams, _So Long and Thanks
For All The Fish_
“I [...] am rarely happier than when spending an entire day programming my
computer to perform automatically a task that it would otherwise take me a good
ten seconds to do by hand.” —Douglas Adams, _Last Chance to See_
“I'd take the awe of understanding over the awe of ignorance any day.” —Douglas
Adams
“I don't accept the currently fashionable assertion that any view is
automatically as worthy of respect as any equal and opposite view.” —Douglas
Adams
“Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe
that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?” —Douglas Adams
--- End Message ---
