Package: karbon
Version: 2.4.2
Severity: wishlist
Tags: patch

I'm glad to see the package descriptions for the KOffice^WCalligra
suite are being maintained; but there are still a few typos and other
language problems, especially in the description for karbon.

> Package: calligra
[...]
> Description: extensive productivity and creative suite
>  Calligra Suite is a set of applications written to help you to accomplish
>  your work. It includes office applications such as a word processor,
>  a spreadsheet, a presentation program, a database application, etc, and
>  raster and vectorial graphics tools.

There's no such thing as "vectorial graphics".  (Yes, the adjective
"vectorial" exists, as in phrases like "vectorial relativity"; but no,
for artwork we just use the attributive noun: "vector graphics".)

While I'm editing this I might as well insist on s/etc/etc./ too.

(Likewise when this is repeated in the calligra-reports-* packages.)

>  .
>  This metapackage provides all the components of the Calligra Suite.
> 
> Package: karbon
[...]
> Description: vector graphics application for the Calligra Suite
>  Karbon is a vector drawing application with an user interface that is easy to

s/an user/a user/

>  use, highly customizable and extensible. [...]

Is this meant to be saying that Karbon's UI is:
 1) easy to use,
 2) highly customizable-and-extensible
(in which case there's a missing conjunction after "easy to use"); or
is it saying that it's:
 1) easy to use,
 2) highly customizable, and
 3) extensible
(which is just mildly awkward, in that it has the most complex phrase
in the middle rather than at the end)?  I'll assume the latter, and
suggest removing the ambiguity by reordering them:

   Karbon is a vector drawing application with a user interface that is easy to 
   use, extensible and highly customizable.

(If I was standardising the text towards debian-l10n-english's "house
style" I would also insert an extra ("Harvard") comma there, but at
present these descriptions are consistently not using that style.)

>  [...] That makes Karbon a great application

s/That/This/.

>  for users starting to explore the world of vector graphics as well as for
>  artists wanting to create breathtaking vector art. Features include:
>   .
>   * Loading support for ODG, SVG, WPG, WMF, EPS/PS
>   * Writing support for ODG, SVG, PNG, PDF, WMF

These don't seem to be in any particular order - I would recommend
lining them up so that it's obvious where the overlap is:

    * Loading support for ODG, SVG, WMF, WPG, EPS/PS
    * Writing support for ODG, SVG, WMF, PDF, PNG

(For d-l-e "house style" I would start each bulletpoint with lowercase
and end it with a semicolon, but that's also not in my patch.)

>   * Customizable user interface with freely placable toolbars and dockers
                                                 ^
Unspellcheckable typo: s/placable/placeable/ ("placable" is the
opposite of "implacable").

>   * Layer docker for easy handling of complex documents including preview
>     thumbnails, support for grouping shapes via drag and drop,
>     controlling visibility of shapes or locking
>   * Advanced path editing tool with great on-canvas editing capabilies
                                                                    ^^
Typo: s/capabilies/capabilities/

>   * Various drawing tools for creating path shapes including a draw path
>     tool, a pencil tool as well as a calligraphy drawing tool

You can't just substitute in "as well as" in place of "and"; it's either

    * Various drawing tools for creating path shapes including a draw path
      tool, a pencil tool(,) and a calligraphy drawing tool

or for variety:

    * Various drawing tools for creating path shapes including a draw path
      tool and a pencil tool, as well as a calligraphy drawing tool

>   * Gradient and pattern tools for easy on-canvas editing of gradient and
>     pattern styles
>   * Top notch snapping facilities for guided drawing and editing (e.g.
>     snapping to grid, guide lines, path nodes, bounding boxes, orthogonal
>     positions, intersections of path shapes or extensions of lines and
>     paths)
>   * Includes many predefined shapes including basic shapes like stars,
>     circle/ellipse, rectangle, image

This is the only item on the list expressed as a verb phrase, and it's
a bit repetitive (as well as using "like" in a manner unpopular with
English teachers).  Besides, how is "image" a predefined basic shape
that belongs on this list?  So I'd suggest rephrasing it as:

    * Many predefined basic shapes included, such as circle/ellipse, star or
      rectangle

>   * Artistic text shape with support for following path outlines
>     (i.e. text on path)
>   * Complex path operations and effects like boolean set operations,

The dictionaries say "Boolean" is capitalised (at least when it's not
a reserved word in some programming language).

>     path flattening, rounding and refining as well as whirl/pinch effects
>   * Extensible by writing plugins for new tools, shapes and dockers

(Also not a noun phrase, but never mind.)

>  .
>  This package is part of the Calligra Suite.

It was the typos in Karbon's description that attracted my attention,
but while I'm here I might as well go on and look at the rest of the
suite.
 
> Package: kexi

By the way, does anybody have any idea why "Kexi" is called "Kexi"?
All the other apps in the suite have always had such transparent names
(sometimes too transparent for their own good), but "Kexi" appears to
be just a random string of letters...

[...]
> Description: integrated database environment for the Calligra Suite
>  Kexi is an integrated data management application. It can be used for
>  creating database schemas, inserting data, performing queries, and
>  processing data. Forms can be created to provide a custom interface to
>  your data. All database objects - tables, queries and forms - are stored
>  in the database, making it easy to share data and design.
>  .
>  Kexi is considered as a long awaited Open Source competitor for MS Access,
>  Filemaker and Oracle Forms. Its development is motivated by the lack of
>  Rapid Application Development (RAD) tools for database systems that are
>  sufficiently powerful, inexpensive, open standards driven and portable
>  across many operating systems and hardware platforms.

(I'm resisting the urge to trim the marketing and business-speak,
since after all office suites are targeted at the kind of users who
are likely to be used to that sort of thing.)

>  .
>  This package is part of the Calligra Suite.
> 
[...]
> Package: krita
[...]
> Description: pixel-based image manipulation program for the Calligra Suite
>  Krita is a creative application for raster images. Whether you want to create
>  from scratch or work with existing images, Krita is for you. You can work 
> with
>  photos, scanned images or start with a blank slate. Krita supports most

Another slightly wonky list: that should be
   [...] You can work with
   photos or scanned images, or start with a blank slate.

>  graphics tablets out of the box.
>  .
>  Krita is different from other graphics design programs in that it has
>  pluggable brush engines, some supporting brush resources like Gimp brush 
> files,
>  others offering sophisticated simulation of real brushes, and again others
                                                                 ^^^^^^^^^^^^
The normal idiom is "others again".

>  offering deformation of images and color mixing. Moreover, Krita has full

Since it doesn't mean "deformation of (a) images and (b) color-mixing"
I would recommend "offering color mixing and image deformations".

>  support for graphics tablets, including features as pressure, tilt and rate,

A giveaway non-native-speakerism: s/as/such as/ (I'm also not sure
it's quite right to refer to "pressure, tilt and rate" as "features",
but I suppose it's clear enough what it means).

>  making it a great choice for artists. There are easy to use tools for drawing
>  lines, ellipses and rectangles, and the freehand tool is supported by 
> pluggable
>  "drawing assistants" that help you draw shapes that still have a freehand
>  feeling to them.
>  .
>  This package is part of the Calligra Suite.
> 
[...]
> Package: calligrasheets
[...]
> Description: spreadsheet for the Calligra Suite
>  Tables is a powerful spreadsheet application.  It is scriptable and
                                                ^^
Inconsistent spacing (even within this one description).

>  provides both table-oriented sheets and support for complex mathematical
>  formulae and statistics. It is the sucessor of KSpread.
                                        ^
Typo: s/sucessor/successor/

>  .
>  This package is part of the Calligra Suite.
> 
[...]
> Package: calligrawords
[...]
> Description: word processor for the Calligra Suite
>  Words is a FrameMaker-like word processing and desktop publishing
>  application.  It is capable of creating demanding and professional
>  looking documents.  It can be used for desktop publishing, but also for
>  "normal" word processing, like writing letters, reports and so on.

Standardise on single-spacing - that's one of the commonest tips
you'll find if you google "professional looking documents"!  (Not that
I pay any attention myself...)

Also... "demanding" documents?  That makes no sense.  They might meet
demanding requirements, but that just makes the documents "well
formatted" or "high quality" or something.  How about "polished" for
added alliterative appeal?

>  .
>  This package is part of the Calligra Suite.
> 
[...]
> Package: calligrastage
[...]
> Description: presentation program for the Calligra Suite
>  Stage is an easy to use yet still flexible presentation application. You can
>  easily create presentations containing a rich variety of elements, from
>  graphics to text, from charts to images. Stage is extensible through a
>  plugin system, so it is easy to add new effects, new content elements or even
>  new ways of managing your presentation.
>  .
>  Stage natively uses the OpenDocument file format standard, for easy
>  interchange with all ODF supporting applications which includes Microsoft
                                                   ^
This needs heavier punctuation (I'd use parentheses, but a comma will
do).

>  Office. Some examples of easy-to-use features are support for layouts, a
           ^^^^
"Some examples are X, Y, and Z... but the rest aren't"?  If they're
examples, it's obvious you aren't giving an exhaustive list, so
there's no need to say "some".  Make it: 

           Examples of its easy-to-use features are support for layouts, a

>  special slide overview view during presentations for the presenter, support
>  for many different master sliders in one presentation, cool transitions and
>  a useful notes feature.
>  .
>  This package is part of the Calligra Suite.
> 
> Package: calligraflow
[...]
> Description: flowcharting program for the Calligra Suite
>  Flow is a flowcharting program that offers basic flowcharting abilities,
>  but with a twist.  Objects are scriptable, and a backend plugin system
>  offers the ability to make objects do just about anything.

"Flowcharting"?  Oh well, apparently there are people who really do
use this word, so I'll just have to get used to it.  But is it
absolutely necessary to explain that Flow is a program, or that a
flowcharting program offers flowcharting abilities?  Couldn't it just
be:

   Flow offers basic flowcharting abilities, but with a twist.

I'll also get rid of that double space.

>  .
>  This package is part of the Calligra Suite.
[...]

-- 
JBR
Ankh kak! (Ancient Egyptian blessing)
diff -ru calligra-2.4.2.pristine/debian/control calligra-2.4.2/debian/control
--- calligra-2.4.2.pristine/debian/control	2012-06-22 07:56:11.000000000 +0100
+++ calligra-2.4.2/debian/control	2012-06-27 09:54:51.191381752 +0100
@@ -72,8 +72,8 @@
 Description: extensive productivity and creative suite
  Calligra Suite is a set of applications written to help you to accomplish
  your work. It includes office applications such as a word processor,
- a spreadsheet, a presentation program, a database application, etc, and
- raster and vectorial graphics tools.
+ a spreadsheet, a presentation program, a database application, etc., and
+ raster and vector graphics tools.
  .
  This metapackage provides all the components of the Calligra Suite.
 
@@ -89,26 +89,26 @@
  for users starting to explore the world of vector graphics as well as for
  artists wanting to create breathtaking vector art. Features include:
   .
-  * Loading support for ODG, SVG, WPG, WMF, EPS/PS
-  * Writing support for ODG, SVG, PNG, PDF, WMF
-  * Customizable user interface with freely placable toolbars and dockers
+  * Loading support for ODG, SVG, WMF, WPG, EPS/PS
+  * Writing support for ODG, SVG, WMF, PNG, PDF
+  * Customizable user interface with freely placeable toolbars and dockers
   * Layer docker for easy handling of complex documents including preview
     thumbnails, support for grouping shapes via drag and drop,
     controlling visibility of shapes or locking
-  * Advanced path editing tool with great on-canvas editing capabilies
+  * Advanced path editing tool with great on-canvas editing capabilities
   * Various drawing tools for creating path shapes including a draw path
-    tool, a pencil tool as well as a calligraphy drawing tool
+    tool and a pencil tool, as well as a calligraphy drawing tool
   * Gradient and pattern tools for easy on-canvas editing of gradient and
     pattern styles
   * Top notch snapping facilities for guided drawing and editing (e.g.
     snapping to grid, guide lines, path nodes, bounding boxes, orthogonal
     positions, intersections of path shapes or extensions of lines and
     paths)
-  * Includes many predefined shapes including basic shapes like stars,
-    circle/ellipse, rectangle, image
+  * Many predefined basic shapes included, such as circle/ellipse, star or
+    rectangle
   * Artistic text shape with support for following path outlines
     (i.e. text on path)
-  * Complex path operations and effects like boolean set operations,
+  * Complex path operations and effects like Boolean set operations,
     path flattening, rounding and refining as well as whirl/pinch effects
   * Extensible by writing plugins for new tools, shapes and dockers
  .
@@ -261,8 +261,8 @@
 Description: web element for Calligra Reports
  Calligra Suite is a set of applications written to help you to accomplish
  your work. It includes office applications such as a word processor,
- a spreadsheet, a presentation program, a database application, etc, and
- raster and vectorial graphics tools.
+ a spreadsheet, a presentation program, a database application, etc., and
+ raster and vector graphics tools.
  .
  This package provides a web element for Calligra Reports, based on QtWebKit.
  .
@@ -275,8 +275,8 @@
 Description: map element for Calligra Reports
  Calligra Suite is a set of applications written to help you to accomplish
  your work. It includes office applications such as a word processor,
- a spreadsheet, a presentation program, a database application, etc, and
- raster and vectorial graphics tools.
+ a spreadsheet, a presentation program, a database application, etc., and
+ raster and vector graphics tools.
  .
  This package provides a map element for Calligra Reports, based on the
  Marble library.
@@ -292,14 +292,14 @@
 Description: pixel-based image manipulation program for the Calligra Suite
  Krita is a creative application for raster images. Whether you want to create
  from scratch or work with existing images, Krita is for you. You can work with
- photos, scanned images or start with a blank slate. Krita supports most
+ photos or scanned images, or start with a blank slate. Krita supports most
  graphics tablets out of the box.
  .
  Krita is different from other graphics design programs in that it has
  pluggable brush engines, some supporting brush resources like Gimp brush files,
- others offering sophisticated simulation of real brushes, and again others
- offering deformation of images and color mixing. Moreover, Krita has full
- support for graphics tablets, including features as pressure, tilt and rate,
+ others offering sophisticated simulation of real brushes, and others again
+ offering color mixing and image deformations. Moreover, Krita has full
+ support for graphics tablets, including such features as pressure, tilt and rate,
  making it a great choice for artists. There are easy to use tools for drawing
  lines, ellipses and rectangles, and the freehand tool is supported by pluggable
  "drawing assistants" that help you draw shapes that still have a freehand
@@ -374,8 +374,8 @@
 Homepage: http://www.calligra-suite.org/words/
 Description: word processor for the Calligra Suite
  Words is a FrameMaker-like word processing and desktop publishing
- application.  It is capable of creating demanding and professional
- looking documents.  It can be used for desktop publishing, but also for
+ application. It is capable of creating polished and professional
+ looking documents. It can be used for desktop publishing, but also for
  "normal" word processing, like writing letters, reports and so on.
  .
  This package is part of the Calligra Suite.
@@ -409,8 +409,8 @@
  new ways of managing your presentation.
  .
  Stage natively uses the OpenDocument file format standard, for easy
- interchange with all ODF supporting applications which includes Microsoft
- Office. Some examples of easy-to-use features are support for layouts, a
+ interchange with all ODF supporting applications, which includes Microsoft
+ Office. Examples of its easy-to-use features are support for layouts, a
  special slide overview view during presentations for the presenter, support
  for many different master sliders in one presentation, cool transitions and
  a useful notes feature.
@@ -423,9 +423,9 @@
 Depends: ${misc:Depends}, ${shlibs:Depends}, calligraflow-data (>= ${source:Version}), calligra-libs (= ${binary:Version})
 Homepage: http://www.calligra-suite.org/flow/
 Description: flowcharting program for the Calligra Suite
- Flow is a flowcharting program that offers basic flowcharting abilities,
- but with a twist.  Objects are scriptable, and a backend plugin system
- offers the ability to make objects do just about anything.
+ Flow offers basic flowcharting abilities, but with a twist. Objects are
+ scriptable, and a backend plugin system offers the ability to make objects
+ do just about anything.
  .
  This package is part of the Calligra Suite.
 

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