[ http://issues.apache.org/jira/browse/DERBY-1394?page=comments#action_12415792 ]
Halley Pacheco de Oliveira commented on DERBY-1394: --------------------------------------------------- ERRATA: Grammatical and not gramatical! Chose and not choosed! 3) Commas could be used to divide some sentences into parts in order to facilitate reading: and not 3) Commas could be used to make some sentences shorter: Sorry for the hurry! halley > Working With Derby - Introduction and prerequisites - Improvements > ------------------------------------------------------------------ > > Key: DERBY-1394 > URL: http://issues.apache.org/jira/browse/DERBY-1394 > Project: Derby > Type: Improvement > Components: Documentation > Versions: 10.1.2.4 > Environment: DITA-sourced documentation > Reporter: Halley Pacheco de Oliveira > Priority: Minor > Fix For: 10.1.2.4 > Attachments: twwdIntro.diff, twwdIntro.diff.html, twwdIntro.html > > 1) There is a gramatical error: > It's written "sections" and not "section": > "In way of introduction this sections provides a brief description of Derby." > and should be, in my opinion: > "In way of introduction this section provides a brief description of Derby." > 2) DERBY_HOME > It's written: > "Note the filesystem path to the Derby installation (referred to as > DERBY_HOME)." > but DERBY_HOME doesn't appear anywhere else in this page, so it is not > possible > to note it in this page. It only appears in the activities pages. By this > reason, > in my opinion, the sentence should be: > "Note the filesystem path to the Derby installation (referred to as > DERBY_HOME) in the activities sections." > 3) Commas could be used to make some sentences shorter: > === > - "Derby is a full featured, open source relational database engine that is > written and implemented completely in Java." > into > + "Derby is a full featured, open source, relational database engine, that is > written and implemented completely in Java." > === > - "It provides users with a small footprint, standards-based Java database > that can be tightly embedded into any Java based solution." > into > + "It provides users with a small footprint, standards-based, Java database, > that can be tightly embedded into any Java based solution." > === > - "In it's default configuration there is no separate database server to be > installed or maintained by the end user." > into > + "In it's default configuration, there is no separate database server to be > installed or maintained by the end user." > === > - "This document demonstrates but does not teach the Java, JDBC and SQL > presented so readers wishing a deeper understanding of these topics will need > additional reference materials." > into > + "This document demonstrates, but does not teach, the Java, JDBC and SQL > presented, so readers wishing a deeper understanding of these topics will > need additional reference materials. > === > - "If unsure about the Java or Derby environments installed perform the > following steps before attempting the subsequent activities:" > into > + "If unsure about the Java or Derby environments installed, perform the > following steps before attempting the subsequent activities:" > === > - "The output you see may be different from what is shown here because the > java -version command outputs vendor-specific information." > into > + "The output you see may be different from what is shown here, because the > java -version command outputs vendor-specific information." > === > - "If the command produced an error or the version listed is not 1.3 or > higher please install a Java development kit before continuing." > into > + "If the command produced an error or the version listed is not 1.3 or > higher, please install a Java development kit before continuing." > === > - "From the Downloads page use the link to the 'Latest Official Release' then > locate the bin distribution (e.g. db-derby-10.2.0-bin). Download the file and > unbundle the release." > into > + "From the Download page use the link to the 'Latest Official Release', then > locate the bin distribution (e.g. db-derby-10.2.0-bin). Download the file and > unbundle the release." > 4) Download the file and unbundle the release. > Is is not easy to understand what this sentence means. There are two files > for the binary distribution: -bin.zip and -bin.tar.gz > So the previous sentence could be changed to: > "From the Download page use the link to the 'Latest Official Release', then > locate the bin distribution (e.g. db-derby-10.1.2.1-bin.zip and > db-derby-10.1.2.1-bin.tar.gz). Download the appropriate file for your > platform, '-bin.zip' for Windows or '-bin.tar.gz' for Unix/Linux", and > unzip/untar this file. After decompressing the downloaded file, move the > directory created to the filesystem path choosed to be the root directory of > the Derby installation (e.g., move db-derby-10.1.2.1-bin C:\Derby) -- This message is automatically generated by JIRA. - If you think it was sent incorrectly contact one of the administrators: http://issues.apache.org/jira/secure/Administrators.jspa - For more information on JIRA, see: http://www.atlassian.com/software/jira
