Thanks for your work on this, Stanley. Here are some comments, probably
more to follow:
INTRODUCTION
- It would be nice to tell the user what each activity is and what they
can expect to be able to do and what they will learn as a result of each
activity.
- Somehow this section isn't very welcoming. It seems very
detail-oriented from the get-go. Is there a way to make it a little
more conversational, such as "Welcome to Derby! We think you'll find
Derby to be both easy to use and fully functional. In this document we
hope to help you get up and running with Derby as quickly as possible."
Think of it as a really nice hotel with the friendly staff welcoming you
into to the hotel, or a very good maitre'd welcoming you into a great
restaurant.
ACTIVITY 1
- You say "mkdir DERBYDBS" and then "cd DERBYDBS" and then "cp
something.sql .". This makes no sense, as something.sql must be
somewhere else than within DERBYDBS. What is the full path to something
.sql?
CREATING THE DATABASE AND RUNNING SQL
- 'Activity Sequence' is a bit jargony. Rather than say "The commands
in this Activity Sequence perform the following operations" can't you
just say "The commands below accomplish the following tasks". And can't
you just call it a "Task" rather than an "Activity Sequence"?
- I don't think you need the note about Windows and UNIX commands, that
will be quite obvious once the user gets into it
- I am sure you'll fix the jar file name from derbygo.jar to derbyrun.jar?
- I thought you could just say 'java -jar derbyrun.jar ij' (at least,
that's how Andrew represented it in his email, maybe he was using
shorthand).
- Can you use all caps for the JDBC URL? Does
"JDBC:DERBY:FIRSTDB;CREATE=TRUE" really work? I notice in your comment
at the end that you use lower-case, so it's inconsistent too.
- In general I would think most people would type in lower-case, not
upper-case... I would hate to force people to turn on caps-lock when
it's not needed.
Thanks, and I appreciate the incremental approach to reviewing this.
David
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