A good chef does not take a job at McDonald's.  Someone who's good at security 
or a good sysadmin does not take a mind-numbingly repetitive job of 
periodically auditing/scanning customers for compliance and filling out an 
endless sea of checkboxes.  Yet we all require these folks to scan/audit us 
quarterly.  The end result is burger flippers coming into your kitchen with a 
dictatorial checklist, telling you the only correct way to cook pasta is to use 
salt and oil in the pot, while you the chef who knows better wants to use salt 
an no oil.  But ultimately, they're the ones with the checklist that file the 
report that allows or disallows your company to get paid.  The end result is 
brainlessly jumping through hoops to satisfy brainless requirements that 
usually include incorrect assumptions or premises, making uniformity the 
ultimate goal rather than security correctness.

<anecdotes>
<li>I inherited an IT dept that had an *actually* insecure PPTP vpn server 
facing the internet, with outdated firmware and a single user account that all 
users shared, using the company name as the password.  I phased it out, in 
favor of a new cisco IPSec VPN server, with randomly generated 256-bit PSK, in 
aggressive mode.  Failed PCI compliance test because aggressive mode + PSK, 
which could possibly be brute forced if PSK is weak.  So I had to jump up and 
down write a letter, call three people, submit a form indicating please excuse 
us and justify the reasoning, we have an unguessable strong 256 bit randomly 
generated PSK, to get the scan to pass.  And then the problem came back again 
next quarter.  I would have to repeat the letter writing phone calling form 
filling procedure every quarter if I want to keep that IPSec VPN server up.  
Their dumb test procedure fails the stronger security solution and passes the 
actually insecure solution.</li>
<li>So I replaced that VPN with an SSL vpn, using startcom signed cert.  
Everyone in the world accepts startcom as a trusted CA, except our dumb PCI 
people.  Compliance fail, we are required to use a different CA, because 
they're too dumb to care or do anything about updating their dumb scan 
script.</li>
<li>We had a godaddy wildcard cert available, so I used that.  PCI fail, 
because they don't know what hostname we're using, and it's merely a wildcard 
cert, so their dumb script can't reverse-engineer and figure out our hostname 
from the cert subject, and they don't have any option for us to simply specify 
our hostname.  They require our IP address to serve up a cert with subject 
whose forward dns results in our IP address.  End result:  Also cannot use 
wildcard cert, because they're too dumb.</li>
<li>So I had to go buy a new cert.  Got it all up, got scans to pass.  Next 
thing I know, POODLE comes out.  So we disable SSLv3, we're now immune to 
POODLE.  If any client tries to fallback to SSLv3, the firewall refuses to 
accept it - however unfortunately, cisco has not yet released the IOS version 
that *announces* the cipher suite without SSLv3 in it.  So, PCI fail, due to 
POODLE.  Their dumb script only checks what cipher suite we announce, and 
doesn't bother trying to actually establish an SSLv3 connection with us.  Cisco 
TAC engineer is well aware of the problem, and informs me preemptively that we 
will still fail our PCI scan despite having SSLv3 disabled.  Because they've 
heard this so many times already from other customers having the same stupid 
problems with the same stupid PCI auditors.  The auditors cannot fix their 
scripts; instead Cisco TAC engineers inform customers that we need to contact 
the auditors and repeat the phone call & letter & form procedure to bu
 y ourselves another 3 months, for cisco to release an updated version of IOS 
which can announce the cipher suite without SSLv3.</li>
</anecdotes>
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