Agreed, metrics are the wrong solution. You have a whacky topology.

Get you own internet connection... or get a router and use this product
on the WAN port to connect to, say, a COUGH local COUGH free COUGH
municipal wifi network. 
http://www.amazon.com/Linksys-Dual-Band-Wireless-N-Gaming-Adapter/dp/B0010TEOLQ


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seanadams
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