I use an access policy server which mostly does rate-limiting and also writes to a database.
It's written in perl.
If all you want to do is to write some records for every connection then the script would be rather simple. You just need to put "check_policy_service unix:...." in the right place, presumably in smtpd_client_restrictions, I guess if you put it before permit_sasl_authenticated it would still have the auth details, due to delayed evaluation.

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