>Note: I'm about to plagiarize an old Shyne post, forgive me, but the idea
>just made me giggle a lot.
>JaxyS :)
>
>
>Breda sat on the beach of the Blkdragon river, not far from the inn. She'd
>been collecting things to eat, and most folk would be surprised at the
>stuff
>that washed up in the river. Breda swallowed a live eel and burped loudly,
>looking at the bag of soggy sandwiches she'd found. Why didn't those
>university students appreciate liver and jelly sandwiches? They just
>didn't
>know what was good for them. She gulped them down without bothering to
>chew
>and then looked at the pile of rocks she'd collected beside her, well
>actually it was more like a small hill, and each one represented a man
>she'd
>had.
>Breda picked up long smooth rock that resembled a small surface to air
>missile.
>"This one is fer Mr Pinkle, me first love," Breda growled sexily. "He ad
>the body of a gladiator, all firm and sweaty, and a brain the size of a
>pea.
> He was the perfect man, unfortunately he had a heart attack when I said I
>was pregnant and dropped dead. And it turned out to be a false alarm.."
>She tossed the rock at the river and it landed with an almost explosive
>splash that frightened the fish towards the anglers across the bank. They
>all waved at Breda and grinned and she thought they were coming on to her
>and was very tempted to leave the rocks to grow moss and go play with the
>nice men and their sticks (for catching fish).
>But they'd still be there when she was done.
>Breda looked at the hill of rocks and tossed a handfull in the water for
>good measure, well if she remebered them all individually she'd be there
>tossing rocks for at least a month.
>Breda picked up a rather large brick, obviously someone's house had met
>with
>an unfortunate accident.
>"This one is fer Marmeduke Wasgood," she said cheerfully. "Cause he was
>bloody good! The most enthusiastic lover I ever ad, Marm was blind, until
>he got accidentally smacked on the head by a falling chamber pot in Khasi
>Street. I was the first thing he see when he came round, I gave him a kiss
>and he screamed and ran under a passing horse and cart. Must have been the
>bump on the head made him crazy."
>Breda hefted the brick and tossed it at the river like a champion lady shot
>putter. It ricoched off a passing seagull, killing it stone (or brick )
>dead and hit one of the unfortunate anglers between the eyes. Breda
>grinned
>across the river. Lovely, a nice young man already laying down to save for
>later. She looked at the pile of rocks and then at the downed angler.
>Hard decision. Oh well she was bored with throwing rocks anyway.
>Oh but just time for one more before the fisherman came round.
>Breda picked up a large flat roof slate and tossed it at the angler across
>the river, it hit him on the head again but he didn't feel it, he was
>already out cold. Breda was just making sure he stayed like it until she
>got
>round to the other side of the river and got her hands on his body.
>"That one was for Raynard Blanire," said Breda. "An older man who taught
>me the meaning of the word 'Geronimoooo!' Long since gone to join his poor
>daughter Helena who he told me about. Poor girl disappeared. I remember
>him telling me about while it we sipped our gin in bed..."
>Breda rose to her feet, kicked over her hill of rocks and trundled over to
>the other side of the river bank to collect her new boy toy. The other
>anglers, seeing her coming, dropped their friend and ran away.
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