> > Stress Reliever # 1 > -------------------------- > Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the > office. Why? > Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I > look at your picture and the problem disappears. > Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you? > Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What > other problem can there be greater than this one?" > _________________________________________________________ > > stress Reliever # 2 > -------------------------- > Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your > worries, troubles and lighten your burden. > Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any > worries or troubles. > Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet. > ___________________________________________________________ > > Stress Reliever # 3 > -------------------------- > Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he > told me to give up my seat to a lady. > Mom: Well, you have done the right thing. > Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap. > ___________________________________________________________ > > Stress Reliever # 4 > -------------------------- > Wife to husband: "What's your excuse for coming home at > this time of the night?" > Husband to wife: "Golfing with friends, my dear." > Wife to husband: "What? At 2 am?!" > Husband to wife: "Yes, We used night clubs." > ___________________________________________________________ > > Stress Reliever # 5 > -------------------------- > A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married > me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?" > "Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you > NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE" > ___________________________________________________________ > > Stress Reliever # 6 > -------------------------- > Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card." > Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his > parents." > ___________________________________________________________ > > Stress Reliever # 7 > -------------------------- > "How was your blind date?" a college student asked her > roommate. > "Terrible!" the roommate answered. "He showed up in his > 1932 Rolls Royce." > Wow! That's a very expensive car. What's so bad about > that?" > "He was the original owner." > ___________________________________________________________ > > Stress Reliever # 9 > -------------------------- > A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word > "beans". > "My father grows beans," said one student. > "My father cooks beans," said another. > Then little Johnny spoke up: "We are all human beans." > ___________________________________________________________ > > Stress Reliever # 10 > ---------------------------- > Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success > as a millionaire?" > Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife." > Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you > before you married her?" > Millionaire: "A Billionaire" > ___________________________________________________________ > > Stress Reliever # 11 > ---------------------------- > Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever. > The guy replies: Thanks for the warning. > ___________________________________________________________ > > Stress Reliever # 12 > ---------------------------- > A husband was asked: Do you talk to your wife after sex? > He replied: Depends, if I can find a phone. > ___________________________________________________________ > > Stress Reliever # 13 > ---------------------------- > Man to wife on wedding night: Are you sure I'm the first > man you are sleeping with? > Wife replied: Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the > others!___________________________________________________________ > > Stress Reliever # 14 > ---------------------------- > Why did they stop printing PAMELA ANDERSON stamps in the > U.S.? > Answer: Because people started licking the wrong side. > ___________________________________________________________ > > Stress Reliever # 15 > ---------------------------- > A wife asked her husband: What do you like most in me - my > pretty face or my sexy body? > He looked at her from head to toe and replied: I like your > sense of humour. > __________________________________________________________ > > Stress Reliever # 16 > ---------------------------- > Doctor to his lady patient: You look terribly weak and > exhausted! Are you having your meals three times a day as I > have advised? > Lady replied: Doctor, I thought you said three males a day! >
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