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QUICK JOKE
If you go through a born-again religious rebirth
do you get another belly-button ?
I had the need to visit the men's room
during intermisson at the theatre
and had to smile at what was written
on the stall, - -
"My wife follows me everywhere."
Written just below it was,
"I do not."
QUOTE FOR TODAY
"The only true happiness comes from
squandering ourselves for a purpose."
William Cowper (1731 - 1800)
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Teaching math
Last week I got a burger at Burger King for
$1.58. The counter girl took my $2 and was
digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from
my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there,
holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking
at the screen on her register.
I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to
just give me back two quarters, but she hailed
the manager for help and while he tried to
explain the transaction to her, she stood there
and cried.
Why do I tell you this? Read on...
Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a
truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of
production is 4/5 of the price. What is his
profit?
Teaching Math in 1960: A logger sells a
truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of
production is 4/5 of the price, or $80.
What is his profit?
Teaching Math in 1970: A logger
exchanges a set "L" of lumber for a
set "M" of money.
The cardinality of set "M" is 100. Each
element is worth one dollar. Make 100
dots representing the elements of the
set "M." The set "C", the cost of
production, contains 20 fewer points
than set
"M."Represent the set "C" as a subset
of set "M". Answer this question: What
is the cardinality of the set "P" of profits?
Teaching Math in 1980: A logger sells a
truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of
production is $80 and his profit is $20.
Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
Teaching Math in 1990: By cutting down
beautiful forest trees, the logger makes $20.
What do you think of this way of making a
living? Topic for class participation after
answering the question: How did the forest
birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut
down the trees? There are no wrong answers.
Teaching Math in 2000: A logger sells a
truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of
production is $120. How does Arthur Andersen
determine that his profit margin is $60 ?
Teaching Math in 2005: El hachero vende
un camion carga por $100. La cuesta de
produccion es............
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Illegal Immigrants Poem
I cross ocean, poor and broke,
Take bus, see employment folk.
Nice man treat me good in there,
Say I need to see welfare.
Welfare say, "You come no more,
We send cash right to your door."
Welfare checks, they make you wealthy,
Medicaid it keep you healthy!
By and by, I got plenty money,
Thanks to you, American dummy.
Write to friends in motherland,
Tell them 'come fast as you can.'
They come in turbans and Ford trucks,
I buy big house with welfare bucks
They come here, we live together,
More welfare checks, it gets better!
Fourteen families, they moving in,
But neighbor's patience wearing thin.
Finally, American moves away,
Now I buy his house, and then I say,
"Find more aliens for house to rent."
And in the yard I put a tent.
Send for family they just trash,
But they, too, draw the welfare cash!
Everything is very good,
And soon we own the neighborhood.
We have hobby -- it's called breeding,
Welfare pay for baby feeding.
Kids need dentist? Wife need pills?
We get free! We got no bills!
American crazy! He pay all year,
To keep welfare running here.
We think America darn good place!
Too darn good for the American race.
If they no like us, they can scram,
Got lots of room in Pakistan.
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