Ecofemmers:
Well, I'm not really sure what I'm going to say yet, I'm letting my
fingers do the meandering for my soul.
I watched the SCIFI channel tonight, (cuz I'm just such a silly fan of
such things.....does anyone relate? *heehee*) and they had a special
showing of "Inside Space" tonight which was dedicated to the week of
NON-Violence that is going on this week, which is being sponsored by cable
TV affiliates. As much as I know that we can all agree that cable TV
shows many violent things, I think that it was a good thing that they are
volunteering to make an effort on this, as much as I am skeptical of the
outcomes or the motives. That doesn't really matter to me at the moment
and is not the point. What was interesting tonite, was the fact that part
of the show talked about the Perspective View, the breakdown of identity
that occurs when people who have the opportunity to travel outside the
tender membrane of Gaia/the Earth. Most of the astronauts that were
interviewed, who were also militarily trained, went through a real
identity crisis when they saw the Earth from up above. It was truly a
psyche/spiritual transition, and they realized that there are no borders,
and that war is totally ridiculous (which most of us know intuitively!).
Rusty the astronaut (?) (forgive....my mind is blank!) said that when he
left the first thing he tried to do was to identify Houston, his hometown,
then Texas, then the U.S. He realized after a while that it did not
work...the thing he saw was the Earth. At that point that is what we feel
connected to. There are no boundaries anymore, and that is the first
breakdown in the bicameral mind....the sense of separatedness
dissolving...which leads to peace and understanding and also the
willingness to let people BE at peace. It is the problem of an idea of
separatedness which attaches us to our own motivations, our own agendas,
our own attachments that causes the pain. (this was my realization after
watching this!)
Almost all of the astronauts that have gone up have had this same kind of
realization as well as a deep discomfort, though militarily trained, to
war after this experience, and many of them go to the U.N. to promote the
space program for a peaceful unified effort for humanity, rather than a
nation's or a company's space program. It profoundly changed them, and we
risk it if we don't listen to what they experienced. We ourselves may not
have had the opportunity to experience this, but we have ALL been affected
by this image of this blue/green/brown/white marble spinning in space.
Some of us call her Gaia, but even if we just call her the Earth, or a
rock, this image is a LOGOS. The LOGOS of Home.
Besides my computer, at this moment, I have a new gift. A dinosaur bone
fossil that was given to me by someone who lives on this land with me, to
help me ground and center. I have no idea what it was, but I really FEEL
that it is a plant eater... In a way this is a part of the logos. In it,
I realize, that while I type in this highly evolved stream of technology,
information and the like, that in this fossil is also an advanced
technology of DNA processing and the like which evolution has created that
is amazing. Dinosaurs are hardly primitive evolutionary which scientists
are finding more evidence every day. However, it also keeps me
connected to the bones and the processes of this planet, it keeps me
centered, connected, and while I look at it, in the bright light of my
computer terminal, I look at it, and then pick it up, amazing at the
intense complicated structure that once walked this Earth before the
we or the computers were a twinkle in the consciousness of the Mother's eye.
I am ASTOUNDED. And in it I see the LOGOS.
I write this for many reasons. The main one being is that I am in a place
of turmoil right now. I have done things and said things that have hurt,
have injured, because I was feeling so terribly disconnected. I want to
apologize and to account. I am responsible for my words, and if they have
hurt, then I want to ammend. What I saw tonight and realized tonight is
that I can't wait to apologize, because I don't have the luxury of knowing
if I will be here tomorrow, and I also don't have the luxury of knowing
that those that I might have hurt will be there tomorrow also. So I am
accounting. And am accountable. My passion for what I believe in usually
influences me to a great degree, I must apologize to those who have been
injured for my passion.
This is very difficult. But I must do this because I must do it. I will
not bring up particulars in this post, but know that what I saw tonite
made me realize where I went wrong, where I hurt others, where I lit fires
that need not be lit. Where the fire of my heart flamed rather than
warmed. I saw the Earth where she is, and I was astounded that I got so
alienated and self-absorbed. Part of my Aries nature is one of fiery
independence and ram headedness, I sometimes (oh heck, frequently) get
impassioned on my point of view to the point that I hit others broadside
and they have no idea where it comes from. And I am not intending to hit
them broadside, I am passionately explaining where I am coming from, and
when they express anger at what I say, then I feel that I have been
unjustifiably flamed, and in a moment of my fire, roar. So I am realizing
that I must be more circumspect if my passion makes others feel
threatened.
What does this have to do with the above paragraphs? Well perhaps the
realization that if we are all connected on this globe then we must each
individually come to the realization that when we hurt others, whether
advertently or not, it eventually ripples through and harms us back. We
are not islands, we are all part of a web of connection that we all have
to each other and the Earth.
I saw something else tonight about fire-walkers here in Northern
California. The reason they do what they do is to face their fear, to
take a chance and then to go ahead. I guess this is my fire walk.
Joy Williams
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
Scion in the Church of All Worlds
"The Garrulous Grok Flok"
Thou Art Goddess!
