Chris, You are absolutely wasted in your current profession. Please resign immediately and take up a post as either a lawyer (OK, you'd need a slight personality lobotomy), a newspaper columnist or a stand-up comedian.
Oh and in order to meet said requirements.....BTW - You have far too much time :-) Phillip Godfrey Manager, Product Safety Nemko Dallas, Inc 802 N. Kealy Ave. Lewisville. TX75057-3136 email: pgodf...@icomply.com Tel: (972) 436-9600 Fax: (972) 436-2667 -----Original Message----- From: Chris Chileshe [mailto:chris.chile...@ultronics.co.uk] Sent: Thursday, June 14, 2001 7:39 AM To: emc-p...@majordomo.ieee.org Subject: Typing Shortcuts - the directive I guess we better start with the directive. Sigh! Here goes ... __________________________________________ Having regard to the existence of the net acronyms and typing shortcuts, and in particular, the emc-pstc DL thereof, In cooperation with subscribers, clearly frequent visitors to chat rooms, moonlighting as safety and compliance personnel Having some regard to the opinion of the professional, student and teenage communities, and in particular, organisations of a nerdistic persuasion, Whereas it is necessary to adopt measures with the aim of progressively establishing the global market over a period expiring at the second coming of Christ Whereas the global market, comprises an area without internal frontiers in which free exchange of acronyms is ensured over the net and text-ready mobile communications devices Whereas member states are responsible for providing adequate translation for communication by acronyms where message meanings may be degraded by exposure to the unfamiliar and therefore pose a communication hazard Whereas member states are also responsible for providing adequate protection for acrommunications receivers in the form of uninitiated recipients; the immunity levels may vary between member states. Whereas Global Council Directive 2001/EMC-PSTC/GC of June 14th on the initial stage of the recognition of type-approval for the acronyms used in public covers in particular, the confusion (emissions) caused by uncertified acronyms when used in normal communication Whereas it is still necessary to provide adequate translation for acronyms ideally in methods precluding the use of other acronyms, for protection of message recipients against effects such as dyslexia on the parts of the sender and receiver or both Whereas in some member states, mandatory provisions define in particular the permissible acronyms and length thereof, that may be used in any one exchange and the character set must be agreed and harmonised Whereas no member state shall authorise the use of the acronyms AFAIK and CMIIW (see below) pursuant to a goal to preclude words starting with phonetically silent letters; excepting that such an acronym confuses a teenager, in which case its use is legal. Whereas member states shall encourage the use of special acronyms exclusive to their respective criminal fraternity to enable their ease of capture by security forces monitoring mother's day cards. To this end, the acronym YTTM? shall invariably translate to 'You talking to me?' and shall be dispensed with a distinctively Robert De Niro accent. Whereas the national provisions ensuring such protection of recipients must be harmonised in order to guarantee the free movement of acronyms without lowering existing and justified levels of coherence, tone and morals. For the purpose of this directive, the Jerry Springer show in participating member states is exempt. Whereas Global Community Legislation as it stands at present provides that, notwithstanding one of the fundamental rules of the community, namely, free movement of information, classified or otherwise, barriers to intra-community exchange resulting from disparities in national servers on the filtering of messages have to be accepted in so far as those provisions may be recognised as necessary to satisfy essential requirements of the member nation's religious, social or political ethics e.g. acronyms which inadvertently or otherwise translate to vulgarity or cause offence in member states. Whereas the Global Council recognises the existence of member states whose alphabets are not traditionally western, the practicality of using these 'Class I' alphabets for acronyms in environments other than those exclusively employing the alphabet for regular communication, is limited and therefore not covered by the scope of this directive. Whereas member states shall discourage the use of net acronyms when exchanging information with Class I recipients; excepting that the acronym is in hieroglyphics, in which case a Nobel prize is due. Whereas member states shall discourage the use of net acronyms in environments where they impair the effective transfer of information, namely in verbal communication. Notwithstanding, Manhattan shall be deemed exempt from this requirement and acronyms may be used in free speech. Whereas it is nevertheless possible that acronyms may cause offence, whereas provision should therefore be made for a procedure to reduce this hazard Whereas member states shall advise users on the need for caution in using the acronym 'CUL' as 'Cul de sac' may lead to charges of sexual harassment. Whereas declaration of conformity will require certification by a competent body (See note 3 ) Whereas NC (Net compliant) declaration of conformity concerning the acronym constitutes presumption of its conformity with this directive Notes For the purpose of this directive 1 - Acronym means net acronyms. Acronyms and abbreviations acceptable in everyday speech are exempt 2 - Acrommunications means exchange of information via the net using acronyms 3 - Competent body means a nerd, ideally of the non-extremist variety, spending less than 12 hours a day in chat rooms. For the purpose of this directive, a couch potato will not be deemed a competent body 4 - Despite the teenage contribution to the world of acronyms, new acronyms generated by teenage sources should be subjected to rigorous testing and verification procedures. 5 - Class I alphabets include Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Russian, Hindi Hebrew, Greek and hieroglyphics 6 - In testing for compliance, the EUT will be a non-nerd recipient, and the nerd used to generate the acronyms will be calibrated Article 2 This directive applies to acronyms likely to cause confusion or impair effective communication in instances where simple speech or writing would be better means. This directive applies to acronyms using words which alter meaning when subjected to geographical location e.g. Fag Article 3 Member states shall not impede for reasons relating to phonetic compatibility by the placing on the net and the taking into service in their territory of acronyms covered by this directive which satisfy the requirements thereof Article 4 No acronyms for hand gestures may be NC marked BTW is mandatory in all member states and failure to comply will result in litigation with due cause The scope of the acronym LOL will be extended to cover casual smiles and genuine belly laughter. -----Original Message----- From: kazimier_gawrzy...@dell.com [SMTP:kazimier_gawrzy...@dell.com] Sent: Wednesday, June 13, 2001 9:19 PM To: emc-p...@majordomo.ieee.org Subject: RE: Typing Shortcuts So...who's writing the standard for this stuff? -----Original Message----- From: Lou Guerin [mailto:lgue...@littlefeet-inc.com] Sent: Wednesday, June 13, 2001 2:30 PM To: 'rehel...@mmm.com'; emc-p...@majordomo.ieee.org Subject: RE: Typing Shortcuts E-mail Acronyms: When sending off a quick message, these acronyms can help. Don't overuse. 2L8 too late AAMOF as a matter of fact AFAIK as far as I know B4N bye for now BTW by the way CMIIW correct me if I'm wrong CUL see you later FWIW for what it's worth IAC in any case IKWUM I know what you mean IMHO in my humble opinion IOW in other words KWIM know what I mean LOL laughing out loud NBIF no basis in fact OTOH on the other hand ROTFL rolling on the floor laughing RTFM read the f...... manual SIG special interest group TIA thanks in advance TNX thanks TTFN ta ta for now found at the following address: http://everythingemail.net/email_glossary.html -----Original Message----- From: rehel...@mmm.com [mailto:rehel...@mmm.com] Sent: Wednesday, June 13, 2001 9:19 AM To: emc-p...@majordomo.ieee.org Subject: Typing Shortcuts Over time I have come across many typing shortcuts using the English language, such as: OTOH - on the other hand WRT - with regard to BTW - (I am still trying to figure out this one) Can someone please list the more common ones? I sometimes strain my brain trying to figure them out and they are in my own language. It must be terribly confusing to most of our world-wide colleagues. Thanks, Bob Heller 3M Product Safety, 76-1-01 St. Paul, MN 55107-1208 Tel: 651- 778-6336 Fax: 651-778-6252 ------------------------------------------- This message is from the IEEE EMC Society Product Safety Technical Committee emc-pstc discussion list. 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