Mike Bishop has entered the following ballot position for draft-ietf-emu-eap-arpa-09: No Objection
When responding, please keep the subject line intact and reply to all email addresses included in the To and CC lines. (Feel free to cut this introductory paragraph, however.) Please refer to https://www.ietf.org/about/groups/iesg/statements/handling-ballot-positions/ for more information about how to handle DISCUSS and COMMENT positions. The document, along with other ballot positions, can be found here: https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-emu-eap-arpa/ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- COMMENT: ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Consider introducing the term/abbreviation NAI in Sections 1 or 2. It's expanded in the abstract and used in the definition of EPI (Section 2) with an appropriate reference (thank you!), but the abbreviation isn't expanded in the main text until Section 3. Section 3.2, it seems strange to scope "experimental" use to ietf.org. Experiments happen other places, too. Perhaps instead say that experiments should happen exclusively within an appropriate vendor space, and "*.ietf.org.v.eap.arpa" can be used for draft version of documents in an IETF working group? Only need to expand EPI once -- it's not necessary to re-introduce the abbreviation in each section. Section 4 seems like it would be more useful folded into the Introduction, or perhaps as an Appendix if you feel it's too long for that. In Section 5.2, I would appreciate an informative reference for "802.11u NAI realm". Also, is it sufficient to advertise the entire universe of possible NAI realms when what's supported is specifically "[email protected]"? Is it possible to make a more specific advertisement with that mechanism, and if so, why wouldn't we recommend that? === NITS FOLLOW === 3.4: Period at end of sentence 3.4.1: "is no ... issues" => "is no ... issue" or "are no ... issues" 3.4.2: "actoer" => "actors"? 5.1: ". ." => "." and don't put commas around the parentheses 6: "number IANA" => "number of IANA" 8: delete comma after "registry" _______________________________________________ Emu mailing list -- [email protected] To unsubscribe send an email to [email protected]
