Craig first offered handouts for todays class and tommorows
Bring 3 copies of paper tommorow for peer revision Broke into small groups of 4 to discuss essay handout, Craig said to discuss the intro, the purpose/thesis, description, intended audience, organization and what do you think about all these and how can this writer improve on these Went back to open circule to disscuss essay During this discussion this was accomplished: Bert-this paper is garbage Jeremy-intro only a sentence and not even a strong one -intro needs to be catchy and tie in with end Mark-intro should deal with whole purpose of paper ( children shouldnt be forced into the unknown) Jeremy-Everyday thrils as good as the outlandish (purpose) John-parents should creat enviroment of moderation Craig-What about description? Jeremy-dont use hte word of the day to sound smart Nicole-quick to hte point, describe more Rex-Good description of humiliation Nicole-lots of commas Craid-okay to start sentence with because (someone thought it was not) Craid-Whos the audience? rex-non risk takers Jeremy-2md rate newspaper audience Mark-parents, teachers, people who effect childrens Craig-"what about organization? Jeremy-sloppy, too back and forth Andy-no transitions, no paragraph seperations Bert-paper has potential, could be good paper, good topic and interesting ideas Craig-Do this same critizing and revising process with groups in 2 days, this is a workshop module, meaning listen to people talk about your paper *essay actually written by craig, just ideas, all together, very rough draft...he then gives us a new draft and then the final draft *paper went from second rate highschool material to an A in a graduate level course = okay for papers to start out as a mess, just get thoughts down on paper and go from there!!!
