[Editor's note: excerpt below. See link for hilarious pictures of cats,
people, and cicadas with foil hats, as well as the dangers of not using
this (picture of cat taking over the house with remote controls). --
jdcc]
<http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?
ViewItem&item=2978448779&category=1467>
PFHT Pet Foil Hat Technology STOP BRAIN SCANS
As seen on CNN Headline News! All of my items are REAL. You buy - you
pay - I ship.
Pet Foil Hat Technology (PFHT)
is the sorta-patented system that protects you and your pet from the
government!
Technical Jargon:
This ultra modern aluminum foil hat will protect your pet from the
brain scanning rays of the NSA, certain 'auction' websites,
fbi.com, and CIA satellites that are monitoring their little subversive
thoughts. You may not have considered this before, but your lead lined
hat is worthless if your pet can give away your secrets to the very
people most dangerous to you - your government!
The PFHT contains space age materials, and is guaranteed to work for
your pet. All government I/O is cut off. It's like a firewall for your
pet's brain.
[...]
Fairly Stern Warning to NPB deadbeats:
No Non-Paying-Bidders please! If you back out, I will hunt you down
and taunt you to within a centimeter of what the local laws allow.
By asking for a refund you forfeit your ghost to me but it will be
returned if you bake me a cake and hand deliver it.
Here are some comments about my auctions:
"If you'd sell the rocks in your head, you'd be a millionaire by now."
- Medicine Hat, AB
"The finest quality used junk I've ever seen on the Internet..." -
Springfield, IL
"I love you... will you marry me?" - Kamloops, BC
"I laughed, choked and water backed through my nose." - Victoria, BC
"If he would auction off a chance to slap him upside the head I'd be
sure to be highest bidder." - disturbingauctions.com user
