For those that liked that one, here is the more complete list: You know you've been in Russia too long when....
* You carry a plastic shopping bag with you 'just in case'. * When crossing the street, you sprint. * You are impressed with the new model Lada or Volga. * You hear the radio say it is zero degrees outside and you think it is a nice day for a change. * Your argue with a taxi driver about a fare of 150 rubles ($5) to go 10 kilometers in a blizzard * You actually know and CARE whether Spartak won last night * You win a shoving match with an old babushka for a place in line, and you are proud of it. * You are pleasantly surprised when there is toilet paper in the WC at work/school * You give a 10% tip only if the waiter has been really exceptional. * You are relieved when the guy standing next to you on the bus actually uses a handkerchief. * You discover a new love of beets. * You know seven people whose favorite novel is "The Master and Margarita". * You change into 'tapki' (slippers) and wash your hands as soon as you walk into your apartment. * You start thinking of black bread as a good chaser for vodka. * You drink the brine from empty pickle jars. * You begin refering to locals as 'nashi' (our's). * Locals start refering to you as 'nash' (our). * You know more than 20 Lenas, 30 Mashas and 60 Sashas. * Purchasing a ticket on the first attempt feels like the triumph of a lifetime. * You are rude to people for no reason whatsoever. * You haven't worn your sneakers for anything but official exercise in months. * 'Remont', 'Pivo' and 'nalivai' (Renovation, beer and pour some more) become integral parts of your vocabulary. * Cigarette smoke becomes 'tolerable', or, if you're a smoker, you beginning smoking at least a pack a day more than you did before coming. * You think metal doors are a necessity. * A gallon of milk seems like a foreign concept. * The elevator aroma seems reassuring somehow. * You do not take off that silly sticker on the sunglasses that you just bought. * You sister write to you about the best prime rib she's ever had and you can't remember what it looks or tastes like. * You sit in silence on your bags for a few moments before leaving on any long journey. * You catch yourself whistling indoors and feel guilty. * You never smile in public when you're alone. * You know the offical at the metro station/airport/border post/post office/raliway station, etc. etc. is going to say 'nyet', but you argue anyway. * That strange pungent mix of odors of star sawdust, sweat and grime in the metro makes you feel safe and at home. * The word 'salad' ceases to have anything to do with lettuce. * Mayonnaise becomes your dressing of choice. * You can recite in Russian all the words to all of the tampon/beer/chewing gum/coke/cell phone commercials. * You do not leave any room between you and person in front of you in line. Ever. * It seems normal to you that stores close for lunch. * You voluntarily take a stroll in the park, Baltika beer in hand, on a sub-zero day. * You are no longer surprised when your taxi drivers tells you that before Perestroika, he worked as a rocket scientist. * You dress up in your best outfits for work/school. * You laugh at Russian jokes. And when you get home... * You try to pay a traffic fine on the spot and get arrested for attempted bribery. * You try to get the waitress's attention by shouting, "Hey! Girl!" * You look for 'kvas' and 'kefir' in the supermarket and ask to buy half a head of cabbage. * You see a car with flashing lights and think it's a politician. * You forget to clear your own tray at fast food restaurants. * You are in awe that after three days at home, your shoes are still clean. * You get wildly offended when you¹re asked to pay at the coat check. * You answer the phone with 'Allo'? * You feel queasy when someone tries to shake your hand over a threshold. * Before getting in line at the grocery store, you ask 'Kto poslednii?" (Who's last?) * You continue to 'cross' the number 7. * You specify 'no gas' when asking for water. * You are dumbstruck when high school or college students wait on you with a smile and display complete knoledge of the contents of each menu item. On 9/25/07 3:18 PM, "Mark Gould" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > > Thank you Sarah, where did you get the list? Whoever wrote it is brilliant! > I would add a 26th way in one's agreeing with and knowing the truth of with > every one of the 25 ways. > All my best, > Mark > ps Responses to Kou were spot-on. The thread of helpful spots, as Paul and > Nick suggested, is essential as Google and "guides" are anything but > (helpful.) > > > Date: Mon, 24 Sep 2007 10:17:33 -0700 (PDT) > From: Sarah Watterson > Subject: Expat List 25 ways to know you have been in russia too long > To: The Moscow Expat List > Message-ID: > Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" > > Pretty amusing: 25 ways you know that you have been in Russia too long .. > > 1. You answer the phone with a deadpan "allo-a." > > 2. When crossing the street, you sprint. > > 3. In winter, you choose your route by scanning for icicles. > > 4. You look at people's shoes to determine where they are from. > 5. Your day seems brighter after seeing some goon's Mercedes broadsided by a > pensioner's "Moskvich". > > 6. You are thrown off guard when the doorman at the nightclub is happy to see > you. > > 7. Seeing a car cruise by on the sidewalk is no big deal. > > 8. Your not sure what to do you when the GAI only asks you to pay the official > fine. > 9. You give a 10% tip only if the waiter has been really exceptional. > > 10. You plan your vacation around those times of the year when the hot water > is turned off. > > 11. You develop a liking for beets. > > 12. You know seven people whose favorite novel is The Master and Margarita. > > 13. You change into tapichki and wash your hands as soon as you walk into your > apartment. > > 14. You start thinking of black bread as a good chaser for vodka. > > 15. You have to identify all the Olga's and Vladimir's in your mobile phone > by: Olga friend, Olga work, Olga teacher... > > 16. You wear a wool hat in the sauna. > > 17. You are rude to people at the airport for no reason. > > 18. 'Remont,' 'piva' and 'hatchapouri' become integral parts of your > vocabulary. > > 19. You are curious as to when they might start exporting Baltika beer to your > home country. > > 20. Cigarette smoke becomes 'tolerable'. > > 21. You don't even notice padded doors anymore. > > 22. You never smile in public when you're alone. > 23. When you know the Moscow Metro better than the subway system back home. > > 24. You catch yourself whistling indoors and feel guilty. > > 25. The elevator aroma seems reassuring somehow. > _________________________________________________________________ > Can you find the hidden words? Take a break and play Seekadoo! > http://club.live.com/seekadoo.aspx?icid=seek_wlmailtextlink___________________ > ____________________________ > Expat mailing list > [email protected] > http://www.lists.ru/mailman/listinfo/expat > http://www.expat.ru/forum/ >
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