President-elect Barack Obama is the Antichrist
J. David McSwane
Issue date: 11/10/08
According to thinkbabynames.com, "Rahm" means Ram, which means "pleasing" and
"supreme." Emanuel in Hebrew, of course, translates "God is with us." He's
clearly Satan's servant.
If Obama's the Antichrist, according the Revelation chapter 20 verse 10, he
must have a false prophet. That's a no-brainer -- Oprah.
Now I, as many of you did, drank the Obama punch, which incidentally tastes
like those snazzy, foil-topped purple drinks that as children we all loved.
Yes. I voted for Obama. And I didn't even have to give the voting booth clerk
any change.
Maybe it's nihilism that inspired me to -- quite ironically -- vote for the
candidate I knew to be the AntiChrist. I mean, Armageddon sounds like a
kick-ass party, and I really want to be invited. Or maybe it's the fact that if
all the Christians suddenly disappeared in the Rapture, Fort Collins traffic
wouldn't be so dreadful. Or there's always the fact that my job as a journalist
would get really interesting.
Anyway, this may come as a surprise to you, but I have read the Bible, and I
attended a white, hate-breeding conservative private Christian school for most
of my education (so did another staff columnist; I'll let you guess who). It's
true.
When it comes to contradictory and nonsensical interpretations of scripture in
contemporary society and politics, I consider myself something of an authority.
So when I say Obama is the Antichrist, I'm not just one of those racist nuts
who read the "Left Behind" series and draws comparisons to fictional politician
Nicolae Carpathia.
Well, that's not entirely true. (Most of my evidence that Obama is the
Antichrist comes from those novels (But I'm also told people don't read
parenthetical information)).
J. David McSwane is a senior journalism and technical communication major going
straight to hell, but at least the music is better. His column appears Mondays
in the Collegian. Attempts to save his soul can be sent to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Section: Opinion2008
Rocky Mountain Collegian
