For lack of morphine self injectors or poppies I am now buying up the last, even crappy, 2004-2005 Zinfandels. For lack of a job I am hanging out here at FFLife. My best buddy got arrested before his phone was cut off. His girlffriend is not taking calls. I need to get a shitty job but the interview is some four hours hence so I must do something!!!? I am just contemplating my Buddhist vows and seing whether I am doing the job or not. I think probably not so well. I am serving few people save a few bartenders sometimes. Maybe a lama and the same bartenders. Not much difference. I learn alot of useless spiritual knowledge. And have.
What makes me Buddhist. I am proud to say that that's it! I'm Buddhist. So hahahaha. At least I have gotten rid of deities and gods to propitiate - they who are worse than taxmen. I know humanism extends to the environment and lesser and greater beings. I raise a glass of red wine and see the culmination of all of history and teachings. Well, that and the little card I have which says I'm Buddhist. Drikung Kagyu, though I know I'm really Nyingma of a small fresh lineage out of Assam, near the Kamakhya peeth, you know up on the other side of Arunachala. I guess I am Dudjom lineage. Otherwise I am not much of anything right now. I had a dream once that I was sitting meditating and the Dalai lama and another monk walked by and talked to Dick Cheney and the reason they weren't stopped is because I was sitting there. Or I made their path easier. On the day my lama Kunzang Dechen Longdrol Lingpa died he gave me a dream that he was lying upside down in white. It was nice of him to let me know. I feel little for Maharishi but if I want I can act like a full blown TMer having had four years there before. Plus they always let me and my money on courses so I can go again even being a goddamn Buddhist with other sadhana committments. But why? All going to Fairfield ever does for me is makes me want to run back to the city screaming. I am lost wholly to New Orleans. This city is bigger than me. I will die here a local Buddha unknown. Probably cooking your side of beef that you salivate over. Here is a Buddhist.
