Yes, I knew this was coming. (Please don't ask how). Hilarious. BTW,
is that Rush Limbaugh in the upper right hand corner? Who'd have ever
guessed!
Of course as long as the Merovingian dynasty of Jesus and the
Magdalen are still alive, secretly practicing Cathar gnostico-sexual
rites, I know I can still sleep soundly at night and get some
consolamentum.
On Mar 16, 2009, at 8:06 AM, Arhata Osho wrote:
Elders of Zion to Retire
Backward: A Purim Spoof
By Anthony Weiss
Published March 04, 2009, issue of March 13, 2009..
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Purim
The Elders of Zion, the venerable and shadowy Jewish organization
that controls the international banking industry, news media and
Hollywood, has announced that it is disbanding so that members can
retire to Florida and live out their golden years on the golf course.
"We had a good run," said one senior Elder, reminiscing over old
photographs of world leaders in his musty, wood-paneled office at
an undisclosed location. "Maybe we ran the world for just a little
too long. Anyway, now it's Obama's problem."
After a humiliating year left most of its financial holdings, as
well as the entire civilized world, on the verge of collapse, the
organization has re-defined its mission in terms of bridge games
and making it to restaurants for the Early Bird Special..
BACKWARD ASSOCIATION
The Wild Bunch: The Elders of Zion, pictured here in younger, more
rambunctious days, are hanging up their fezzes and heading south.
Noted Morris (third from left), `The only thing I'm looking to
dominate now is a PiƱa Colada.'
The announcement comes after a year in which many of the Elders'
most prized institutions suffered disheartening failures. The
vaunted global banking system, which lay at the heart of Jewish
world domination for almost two centuries, collapsed with
astonishing rapidity, requiring trillions of dollars in bailout
funds. The newspaper industry, through which the Elders have
controlled world opinion, is in shambles, with prominent papers
declaring bankruptcy and forcing millions of readers to form their
own opinions. And, in the unkindest cut, Hollywood suffered the
humiliation of losing the Oscar for Best Picture to Indian film
"Slumdog Millionaire. "
The organization' s reputation for financial probity had also taken
a hit amidst rumors of billions in losses in private Kalooki games
against Sheikh Hamad bin `Isa of Bahrain. According to inside
sources, the organization also lost close to $1 trillion with
disgraced investor Bernard Madoff.
Even before this past year, though, the Elders were facing hard
times as they struggled to stay relevant and attract young members.
The organization has tried to project a more youthful image,
setting up a Facebook page and founding a new "Hipsters of Zion"
youth division, which has sponsored a number of singles nights. But
youngsters haven't been interested.
"World domination just doesn't resonate with the younger generation
of Jews," said Marvin Tobman, a professor of non-profit management
at San Diego State University and expert on Jewish communal life.
"They want the fun of fixing the world, not the responsibility of
running it."
These recent troubles have worried even some of the Elders'
sharpest critics.
"I always used to complain that Jews ran the world," said Reginald
Weber, author of "Zionists and Zookeepers: The Unholy Alliance."
"But now I'm starting to worry that nobody's in charge."