The Edg Duveyoung Don't Even Think Of Hitting That
Society announces a gala banquet to raise funds for
the ongoing fight against age-inappropriate romance.
Plates at the celebrity-filled event start at $100
each (prices may vary depending on the age difference
of the celebrity you wish to be seated next to).
Come and help us fight the scourge of dirty old men
and cougars who imperil America and keep Sat Yuga
from manifesting, and you too can mingle with the
stars. Some of the celebrity guests who have already
committed to attending the banquet include:
* Demi Moore (+15) and Ashton Kutcher.
* Harrison Ford (+20) and Calista Flockhart.
* Michael Douglas (+25) and Catherine Zeta-Jones.
* Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon (+12).
* Tom Cruise (+15) and Katie Holmes.
* Barbara Hershey (+21) and Naveen Andrews.
* Julianne Moore (+10) and Bart Freundlich.
* Dinah Shore (+20) and Burt Reynolds.
* Geena Davis (+15) and Dr. Reza Jarrahy.
* Elizabeth and Dennis Kucinich (+31).
* Clint and Dina Eastwood (+25).
* Donald Trump and Melania Knauss (+28).
* Jeri and Fred Thompson (+24).
* Warren Beatty (+21) and Annette Bening.
* Francesa Annis (+19) and Ralph Fiennes.
* Mary Tyler Moore (+18) and Dr. Robert Levine.
* Jerry Seinfeld (+18) and Jessica.
* Tommy Lee Jones (+18) and Dawn Laurel.
* Cindy and John McCain (+17).
* Paul McCartney (+26) and Heather Mills.
* Rod Stewart (+25) and Rachel Hunter.
* Chuck Norris (+28) and Gena O'Kelley.
* Strom Thurmond (+44) and Nancy Janice Moore.
* Justice William O. Douglas (+56) and Cathleen Heffernan.
"It is difficult for a man of my years to address such
an august body. Almost as difficult as it is for a man
of my years to make love three no, four times in
one afternoon."
-- Victor Hugo, age 82, addressing the French Senate
"Trying to make love with someone who is as unskilled
as you are seems to me about as sensible as learning
to drive with a person who doesn't know the first thing
about cars either."
-- Stephen Vizinczey, author of "In Praise of Older Women"
