What a completely idiotic post. A dinner party with neighbors compared to an
Internet forum? Ever heard of the need to compare like with like?
And by the way, given your derogatory comments about Fairfield, it might
surprise you to know that when I bought a house here, the neighbors also came
within a day or two, bearing gifts. We know the meaning of community here, too.
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, turquoiseb <no_reply@...> wrote:
>
> Tonight I spent a thoroughly pleasant evening hosting
> a dinner party for my next-door neighbors here in the
> Netherlands. Because the Dutch plan so far ahead, and
> their "social calendars" are thus so booked up so far
> in advance, it has taken this long to arrange, but
> proved well worth the effort to do so.
>
> Holland is the first place I've ever lived in Europe
> in which my neighbors came knocking at my door soon
> after we moved in, bearing gifts, and welcomed us to
> the neighborhood. In France and in Spain, we could have
> gone years without such a thing happening; the people
> there are more provincial and "think local," and it
> could have been decades before they "welcomed us to
> the neighborhood," or treated us like neighbors. Here
> it was the exact opposite.
>
> So we put together a dinner party, and invited the
> next-door neighbors -- a traditional Dutch family,
> one husband, one wife, and three wonderful kids now
> in their late teens, and very, very Christian -- to
> come have dinner with the "extended family" of four
> adults of questionable spiritual backgrounds, living
> in the same house and raising an adorable two-year-
> old together. And it was great.
>
> This family is what you'd like to imagine Christians
> being like if Christians actually walked the walk of
> their talk. Funny, intelligent, charming, and without
> a hint of either prejudice or judgmentalism. We ate
> great food and drank good wines and talked of every-
> thing from the mundane to the spiritual, and for not
> one moment of the evening did I discern any discomfort
> or sense of dis-ease in any of the participants. We
> just all had a smashing time together.
>
> Afterwards, when they left and I retired to my room
> to check my Internet connections with other humans on
> this planet, and thus "dropped by" Fairfield Life, I
> found myself pondering the contrast.
>
> No one at the dinner party, no matter how different
> our world views might have been, ever felt the need
> to assert his or her opinion as "right" or "correct."
> No one tried to dominate the conversation in the name
> of whoever or whatever we "believed in." We just chatted,
> and got to know each other a little better, and laughed
> a lot.
>
> Compare and contrast to the normal "FFL scene." No one
> spent any time trying to "get" anyone else who disagreed
> with their world view. No one tried to claim that his or
> her world view was "better" or "more correct" than anyone
> else's. The Christians felt completely at home in a home
> that was decorated with my collection of Asian art, and
> thus full of Buddhas and dakinis and odd Tibetan gods
> and goddesses. No one from our side felt the least com-
> punction to bristle or "get in their faces" if they chose
> to talk about Jesus. Total acceptance, total compassion,
> total mutual acceptance. A night of fine food and fine
> conversation.
>
> And some wonder why I sometimes try to point out that
> Fairfield Life is not often like this. That its primary
> mindset seems to be about asserting the supposed suprem-
> acy of some philosophy or theory or set of buzzwords
> over some other philosophy or theory or set of buzzwords.
> That its focus seems all too often to be about feeling
> as if one has to "defend" the things one believes in
> to such an extent that no one in their right mind could
> perceive it as "defense," but rather what it really is,
> "offense," the assertion of "correctness" or "rightness"
> or supremacy.
>
> All the difference in the world. It makes me wonder
> what went so wrong with the TM movement, and for so long,
> that its long-term adherents have forgotten how to live
> peacefully with their neighbors in ways that the Dutch
> just take for fuckin' granted. Go figure.
>
