Thanks Yifu, Raunchy and Barry. I am thinking of submitting it to, Snuff Food Porn Magazine: For people who love their food to death!
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, turquoiseb <no_reply@...> wrote: > > Food porn. Perfect. You should write for Bon Vivant, Curtis. :-) > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "raunchydog" <raunchydog@> > wrote: > > > > Fabulous writing, Curtis. Love your food porn. > > > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "curtisdeltablues" > curtisdeltablues@ wrote: > > > > > > I love squid and octopus. They are like if you took the essence of > shrimp, put it in some tinfoil and inhaled the vapors through a hollowed > out Bic pen heated up by a lighter. (And it had eaten heroin before it > died.) They are both best cooked only a little or for a long time > because in between is rubber band city. > > > > > > Real Thai cooks have wonderful ways to cook Calamari, scoring the > flesh squares on one side in a diamond pattern so it curls up like a > jewel. With this texture it can hold the curry close to its milky > flesh, trapped in the ridges created. It isn't hard but makes a big hit > at the table. > > > > > > They might have some clever Ted Bundy intelligence in them. But it > is all for the purposes of killing and eating their fellow marine > neighbors. They would eat a mermaid's face off in a flash, without > thinking of her as a divine version of fishy chastity despite her > voluptuous upper deck. They would gobble her down like I eat every one > of these little miscreants who falls onto my plate. With a spray of > lime at the last second. Always a spray of lime to mark their passing. > > > > > > I don't get my hand on the tiny octopus that the Japanese eat so raw > that occasionally one chokes a diner to death when swallowed in Jeffrey > Dahmer (did you also think his last name had an L in it? I sure did.) > fashion, their tentacles gripping the inner esophagus and choking the > gourmand out of his next exotic meal. I can't say which side I fall in > this kind of struggle, I mean chewing a living creature so poorly seems > like such a dickish move doesn't it? I mean does it reallyaffect the > flavor to scald the thing before mastication? Really? That is the most > important part of the flavor, that the creature fights you while > chewing? I love food but count me out for that ritual. Kill the thing, > maybe RIGHT before I eat it like I do with soft shell crabs from > Maryland's Chesapeake Bay. That is cool. I taste the whole bay in every > bite when I do that. > > > > > > But for God's sake (liberal phrasing I know) kill the creature.My > teeth are not so good at that as a blast in the steam tray, OK? I don't > need to feel its objection to its own death in the same fleshy area I > kiss my girlfriend with. That tongue is a sacred area and not meant for > a sacrificial alter. It is meant for loving and for accepting all the > members of the family of squid and octopi after they have been properly > dispatched, and can now deliver the essence of the ocean to my palate. > > > > > > I love those creatures, but I don't trust them for a second. I have > cleaned them of their parrot-like beaks and I know that if the tide was > turned, I would be dispatched without the artistic grace of some fish > sauce, lime, garlic and chili. They would eat me alive. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "Yifu" <yifuxero@> wrote: > > > > > > > > My Philippina friends gave me some squid for lunch today, so I'm > posting this to memorialize the event. I wouldn't make a habit of eating > the creatures. They asked me if I liked squid, and I said "As long as > it's dead". > > > > ... > > > > It turns out that squid, cuttlefish, and octopi are highly > intelligent animals, ranking right up there with the higher primates in > problem solving. That octopus that predicted sports events unfortunately > died. I can feature a big tanks in the Vegas Hotels geared up to make > predictions. > > > > > > > > > http://laughingsquid.com/wp-content/uploads/brian_mccarty_squid.jpg > > > > > > > > > >
