--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, merudanda <no_reply@...> wrote: > > A shy, innocent young Turquoiseb with a laptop in his hand > walked up to a beautiful young woman in Yab Yum and said: > "Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?" > > "Yes I do," replied the beautiful young woman, "But > go ahead, as I'm sure you're going to ask me anyway." > > "OK," said the shy, innocent young Turquoiseb with a laptop > in his hand, "How many men have you slept with?" > > "That's my business!" snapped the woman. > > "Oh, right!" said the shy, innocent young Turquoiseb with a > laptop in his hand, "I didn't realize you made a living out > of it!"
Strangely enough, and because Bob seems to like my bar conversations :-), at least once I was nearly that naive. I lived in Malibu but worked in downtown L.A., so there was a constant deadline to hitting the Coast Highway and heading back up to home after a day at work. If I made the highway by 6:00 PM, I would be home in 15 minutes. Hit it at 6:15 and it would take me an hour. Wait until 7:00 PM and the drive would again take only 15 minutes. This was such an inexorable law of nature that as an Angelino I had come to respect it. So one day I hit the highway late, and instead of being stuck in my car for an hour, I decided to go to a bar instead and have a drink before continuing home. It was a nice bar, on the top floor of a hotel overlooking the Pacific, with floor-to-ceiling windows. A nice place to chill and wait out the traffic. I was dressed in a suit and sitting at the bar, and after a while the woman sitting next to me engaged me in conversation. She was attractive, and dressed in a well- tailored woman's business suit, and so I assumed she was waiting out the traffic like I was. We talked small talk for a while, and she asked what I did for a living. I told her, and then asked, tempering my words because by this time I thought maybe instead of a salesperson or a computer consultant she was a well- tended-to housewife and didn't have to work, "And you? Do you work?" She smiled at me and said, "I am." I almost spit my drink out laughing. She laughed, too, because she realized in that moment that up to that moment I really hadn't had any idea what she did for a living. I explained to her as tactfully as I could that I was not particularly interested in furthering her career that evening, and we had a very pleasant conversation until a more likely sales prospect arrived at the bar, and she moved over to talk to him. I love such moments, because like Tom's joke they have a "twist" at the end. The fact that the joke is on you really doesn't matter; if the twist is good enough, you laugh anyway. > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Tom Pall <thomas.pall@> wrote: > > > > Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. > > > > When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here > > in heaven: don't step on the ducks!" > > > > So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the > place. > > > > It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try > their > > best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. > > > > Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. > > > > St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping > on a > > duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!" > > > > The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along > comes > > St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. > > > > With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with > the > > same admonishment as for the first woman. > > > > The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained > for all > > eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. > > > > She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day > St. > > Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid > eyes > > on..., very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin. > > > > St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. > > > > The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to > you > > for all of eternity?" > > The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!" > > >
