There should be more jokes soon about Caine's changing stories relating to the sexual harassment allegations against him. This news story could make or break his candidacy, depending on how he handles it.
--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Tom Pall <thomas.pall@...> wrote: > > "In a new interview, Rick Perry said it was a mistake for him to > participate in the presidential debates. Perry said 'I'm not one of these > 'word talkers.''' Conan > O'Brien<http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/bl-conan-jokes.htm> > > "Michele Bachmann said she wants her three daughters to learn to shoot a > gun. Mostly so they can put her campaign out of its misery." Conan O'Brien* > * > "Rick Perry is now behind in the polls and he's not taking it well. Today > he executed his pollster." David > Letterman<http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/bl-david-letterman-jokes.htm> > > "Hillary Clinton turns 64 years old today. Happy birthday. Today, Donald > Trump demanded to see her birth certificate." David Letterman * > > "*A couple of days ago they found (Moammar Gadhafi) hiding in a storm > sewer, and they pulled him out and killed him. In three years, he would > have been eligible for his pension! Yep and he left his entire wardrobe > to Lady Gaga." David Letterman * > * > "In an interview last night, Rick Perry criticized Mitt Romney for > flip-flopping on the issues. Romney said that Perry has no idea what he's > talking about. Then he added, 'But he does know what he's talking > about.'" Jimmy > Fallon <http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/bl-jimmy-fallon-jokes.htm> > * > *"Michele Bachmann told reporters that she will lead the nation in prayer > if she is elected president. You know if she is elected president, we all > better be praying. She doesn't have to lead us." Jay Leno* > > *"We had President Obama on the show last night. I think the president > enjoys visiting NBC because we're the only place that has lower numbers > than he does." Jay > Leno<http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/bl-jay-leno-jokes.htm> > > "According to polls, Rick Perry has now fallen to fifth place. You know who > is in fourth place? Carrot Top." Jay Leno > > "The McRib is back. You know, I wondered what they were going to do with > Gadhafi's body." Jay > Leno<http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/bl-jay-leno-jokes.htm> > > > David Letterman's "Top Ten Things Overheard At Moammar Gadhafi's Funeral" > * > * > 10. 'Honestly, how the heck did he spell his name?' > 9. 'It's a shame he didn't live long enough to promote himself above > colonel' > 8. 'Is it too soon to hit on the Ukrainian nurse?' > 7. 'After the services, come back to the house for cake' > 6. 'Where's his hot daughter Kim?' > 5. 'And now, a few words from Moammar's closest friend, Loni Anderson' > 4. 'At least he died doing what he loved best begging for mercy in a > storm drain' > 3. 'Incoming!' > 2. 'Nice of Leno to send flowers' > 1. 'Let's bury this guy' > > > "Herman > Cain<http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/politicalcartoons/ig/Political-Cartoons/Plan-999-Outer-Space.htm>and > Newt > Gingrich<http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/republicans/a/Newt-Gingrich-Jokes.htm>said > that next month they're going to take part in a Lincoln-Douglas style > debate. The only similarity to the actual Lincoln-Douglas debates is that > no one will watch them on television." Conan > O'Brien<http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/bl-conan-jokes.htm> > > "Michele > Bachmann's<http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/republicans/a/Michele-Bachmann-Jokes.htm>campaign > is in a lot of trouble. Five staffers quit her campaign, claiming > it was because she treated them like second-class citizens. However, > Bachmann said, 'That's not true. At no time did I treat them like gays or > Latinos.'" Conan O'Brien > > "They have buried Moammar > Gadhafi<http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/worldleaders/a/Gaddafi-Jokes.htm>at > a secret undisclosed location. In other words, it's going to be the > best > season of 'The Amazing Race' yet." Conan O'Brien > > "Rick > Perry<http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/Rick-Perry/a/Rick-Perry-Jokes.htm>, > started out like a ball of fire from Texas and then he started to drop and > now he's retooling. He's adding advisers to his campaign team. This guy had > advisers? Really?" David > Letterman<http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/bl-david-letterman-jokes.htm> > > "Rick Perry has now accused Mitt Romney of hiring illegal aliens to work on > his hair." David Letterman > > "Moammar Gadhafi was found hiding in a storm sewer with a gold-plated gun. > That's me in retirement, ladies and gentlemen." David Letterman > > "So the guy who shot Gadhafi was wearing a Yankees cap. Did you see that? > If he'd had a Boston Red Sox hat on he probably would have missed." David > Letterman > > "As you know, President > Obama<http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/barackobama/a/obamajokes.htm>is > here in Los Angeles He's raising money for a huge disaster relief > project. It's called NBC." Jay > Leno<http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/bl-jay-leno-jokes.htm> > > "It feels weird, because we're taping the show extra early tonight. It's > rare that we change what time we tape the show to accommodate a guest's > schedule. In fact, the only people we've ever done it for are the president > and Lindsay Lohan." Jay Leno > > "A Libyan rebel has admitted to killing Moammar Gadhafi. He said he shot > Gadhafi twice in the temple, to which Michele Bachmann said, 'I didn't even > know the guy was Jewish.'" Jay Leno > > "Rick Perry unveiled his new tax plan. He says he wants a flat tax. He > believes that tax should be flat, just like the earth." Jay Leno > > "A group called the Texas Tea Party Patriots is hosting a debate next month > where Newt Gingrich and Herman Cain will go head to head, while people > watching that will go head to pillow." Jimmy > Fallon<http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/bl-jimmy-fallon-jokes.htm> > > "President Obama just launched his own blog on the website Tumblr. > Incidentally, 'tumbler' is what you call President Obama after looking at > his poll numbers." Jimmy Fallon > > "New Jersey Gov. Chris > Christie<http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/politicalcartoons/ig/Political-Cartoons/Christie-Decides.htm>is > going to Israel. He's going to be pretty disappointed when he finds > out > the Gaza Strip isn't a steak." Jimmy Fallon > > "So, you hear that, Michelle > Obama<http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/barackobama/a/Michelle-Obama-Jokes.htm>? > You can take your celery sticks and throw them in the deep fryer." Jimmy > Kimmel <http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/bl-jimmy-kimmel-jokes.htm> > > *David Letterman's "Top Ten Details of Rick Perry's Tax Plan" * > > 10. Fifty percent tax increase for all guys named 'Mitt' > 9. Hunting camps with offensive names are tax exempt > 8. It's covered in rib sauce > 7. Lets people choose regular tax, flat tax, or 'El tax muy caliente!' > 6. It's called the 9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9 plan > 5. The obese pay an additional 3 percent per chin > 4. Free dance lessons (video of Rick Perry dancing with Orthodox Jews) > 3. Not sure. Honestly, when this guy speaks I have no idea what the heck > he's talking about > 2. All tax refunds now go directly to the Chinese > 1. Punishment for filing late? Lethal injection > > > "These Republicans, they will not give credit. They gave credit to the > rebels, to the British, and to the French. But they would not mention the > president. It was like they were on a game show and the password was > 'Obama.' They're like the banks; they will not give a black man credit." > Bill Maher, on Gaddafi's death* > * > "In their world, Gaddafi died of natural causes, Bin Laden was shot in the > face by the free market. You should've heard them, we went in too strong, > everything they could've said that he did wrong. It's like there's some > kind of hidden Republican clitoris, that they won't let Obama find, and > whenever he tries, they're like 'that's not it!'" Bill Maher > > "I'm guessing our soldiers are happy to be leaving Iraq. It is no fun being > in a country where there's crumbling infrastructure and an ignorant > population, but they said they're happy to come home anyway." Bill Maher >
