FFL was not always this contentious. But there is definitely that element now and has been for some years. Some people really like to argue, they get energized by that process, the tussle. Makes them feel alive and - if they win - successful and smart. I think they look forward to it. For some, the debating is a fun exercise - maybe it substitutes for the need to go out and hunt food for dinner. You happened to enter the scene at a particularly emotional time and got snared. And now, the conversations that even tangentially have to do with Robin are becoming repetitive, with references to old posts. For some this place is like writing a legal brief. For most, it is just an interesting place to connect.
I am not in that arguing mode, so often I just skip posts that start heading in that direction. If I have more free time, I might follow a discussion superficially. But I rarely spend the time needed to really follow those interactions closely because I don't enjoy it and really don't have much free time. Unless the issue is important to me. Which is not often. I once lived in an apartment under a couple in the last months of living together before their separation and divorce, and I heard their arguments. Bad feeling to hear their business and sometimes it is the same feeling on FFL if you listen in on other peoples's stuff. Once in a while I get sucked in. But I think most lurkers and others on FFL just ignore that and get on to what they care about (for example, I never see Bhairitu comment on the arguments. And Marek and Xeno usually stay clear as well - many others too). There are some amazing people here, and some are really smart, too. Interesting interests. You just pay attention to what you choose. A simple example - I get some good movie recommendations for Netflix here from Barry and Bhairitu. I get a sense of what is happening in Fairfield, some great political links, even the surfing joy is fun. Odd bits and pieces of incredible info from some real characters. --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, awoelflebater <no_reply@...> wrote: > > Thanks Emily, good to hear from you directly re: your take on the nature of > FFL. I can't say I am a fan of it all. I keep thinking I want to go, leave > everyone to their bickering and sometimes unbelievably hostile rantings. Then > there will be a voice of reason in this wilderness of jungle calls and I am > attracted back for a moment. I really had unsubscribed the other day and then > I get this email from the administrators that make you go one more step to > actually unsubscribe and I found myself not taking the final step of the > process. > > I can't be sure about anyone's agenda on this site, some are just having a > good old gab and exchange of links, ideas. Then there are those that fall > into the shadowy category of what is the motive/game/intention going on here? > And, as you say, anyone can jump in so one minute you can be having a > productive posting with someone and the next minute someone has just spit in > your face and you weren't even talking to them. Guess that is the way it goes > when you've opened yourself up to the world via the internet. > > Brazen and audacious are not two of my more favourite qualities. Personally, > I appreciate thoughtfulness, true insight and an understanding that words > hold power so use them carefully. > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Emily Reyn <emilymae.reyn@> wrote: > > > > Ann, I like that you state your position so clearly - you are a direct > > communicator. Â Yes, FFL is a place to communicate and many interesting > > things come across the page. Communication comes in many forms however, and > > given the human condition and the internet format, all the associated games > > and communication styles come with it. Â Not everyone is a direct > > communicator. Â The limitations on behavior or word choice that might be > > exercised in a face-to-face conversation don't apply. Â I think some > > express themselves better writing than verbally and vice versa. Â Those > > that have a good command of the written language have an advantage, so to > > speak. Â Depending on the "who" and "what" and "how" of any said exchange, > > attempts to "overpower" or "undermine" are most certainly perceived on the > > part of the reader as intention is intuited along the way. There are no > > rules on who can jump in and comment, which is interesting to me, to watch > > all the different > > perspectives fly across the page. Â And, given my background, I've > > appreciated the brazen audacity of so many posters for the most part. > > Â Things can get kinda rough at times though, and I think the ability to > > detach from the personality is important sometimes. Â Detaching can also > > give room to take more creative license with one's interpretation or > > reaction or response. > > > > ________________________________ > > From: awoelflebater <no_re...@yahoogroups.com> > > To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com > > Sent: Friday, March 9, 2012 8:59 AM > > Subject: [FairfieldLife] Re: Dare I ask for Clarification? > > > > > > Â > > I hate soap operas so thanks for that. And thanks for the civil response. I > > get pretty tired of the attacks, both personal and general, that fly around > > here. For me, FFL is a place to communicate, not to play games including > > overpowering people or undermining them. When I ask a question it is > > because I actually want to know the answer. If I find out more than that, > > like what a person is like, what they believe and learn more than what I > > asked for that is icing on the proverbial cake - I'll take it. What I won't > > take is twisted facts, false accusations and downright mean spiritedness. > > So far, with you, I'm good. > > > > So, I got clarification on things I didn't specifically ask for (but it's > > good) and you chose not to specifically answer whether there was indeed a > > missive from Robin to you denigrating Judy. I'm not sure I really wanted to > > know the answer to that anyway, I would much rather just have the whole > > thing go away. I hope we can all move on, taking with us whatever we can > > from this little drama. We will all have our opinions based on the fact > > that answers are often discoverd about things we didn't even ask about. > > > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "curtisdeltablues" > > <curtisdeltablues@> wrote: > > > > > > Hi Ann, > > > > > > By now you should know that I react to people here the way they approach > > > me. You have no reason to be timid with me. > > > > > > Neither Vaj nor Judy are confused by what I meant. I'd hate to drag you > > > into some soap opera here. I'm not gunna betray any confidences with any > > > specifics. I sent the message I meant, but my hands are tied beyond that. > > > > > > But in the end, anyone who interacts with Robin is gunna end up in the > > > same hot seat. That much I'm sure you can appreciate. So I guess you can > > > also imagine how I might get sick of someone posting the most obnoxious > > > parts of Robin's routine about me, hiding behind his insulting words, > > > just because my analysis was public and hers was private. > > > > > > So I did the best I could with the situation I was in, and let the ill > > > wishers do their ill wisher thing. People like you are always welcome to > > > chat with me, and I'll do the best I can to be real with you. > > > > > > Fair enough? > > > > > > > > > > > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, awoelflebater <no_reply@> wrote: > > > > > > > > This is to Curtis. I am going to take a chance here because you have > > > > always been a reasonable person in your responses and interactions with > > > > me. I have no beef with you, our history is clean as far as I am aware. > > > > I am a little gun shy here, I am serious, because the last time I asked > > > > for clarification was from Barry and he blasted me. I am going to have > > > > a little faith that you are not going to do that because I come here > > > > with a sincere question. > > > > > > > > I came away after reading your recent post that you know something > > > > about how Robin really feels about Judy that would, apparently, be > > > > different from what she thinks his opinion is of her. You indicated, as > > > > far as I could decipher, that it was based on something he had told > > > > you, probably via email since I am not aware if you ever actually spoke > > > > to him. > > > > > > > > Everyone seems to be in a bit of an uproar about this for obvious > > > > reasons. The reasons to me are because Judy is under the impression she > > > > has an amicable and supportive relationship with Robin on FFL. You seem > > > > to be indicating otherwise based on some specific interaction between > > > > you and Robin. I know it is not really anyone's business what your > > > > personal interactions were with him however, you did bring this up from > > > > your end regarding Robin's opinion of Judy. Did you mean that like it > > > > sounded (he feels differently than Judy thinks he does about her)? Or > > > > did I misread what you wrote? Vaj seems to think it is the ironic, > > > > spoofy posting they engaged in together shortly before I came on the > > > > scene and which I have read but I know that can not be it. Are we all > > > > crazy here or did you imply you know something you sort of told us but > > > > not really? > > > > > > > > > >
