Fairfield Iowa,
Fairfield you are very open to me but, I'm not sure what you are. you helped me
with my anxiety and grew my consciousness. I'm not sure if you're for the
better or worse. You taught me that I was wrong. Maybe that needed to come out.
Although I'm sure my parents had good stuff to them. Saying my parents are
wrong is very dark to my heart. I'm not sure why you didn't open up about the
good stuff like the kundalini and chakras. You taught me that me and my culture
are full of sh*t, including what my parents knew. I have a shadow that lingers
from Fairfield telling me not to think and that what I do is wrong. I'm not
sure what's worse, my way of thinking or your teachings. I lost everything to
you, my entire life is now done as I realized everything is now an illusion.
Part of me feels like this is all a part of me and karma has a lot to do with
it. I think Fairfield is a reflection of me, so maybe I need to open up more
and be more honest. I feel this is all part of a game, although I'm not sure
how the game works. The part of me that made me rebel against you made me wise
up and found that truth s being presented to me as what I need to see. However
there is still a lot of darkness as my culture and spiritual beliefs are being
hidden. Part of me wonders why. Because you're insecure over something and you
don't want to see us be right? Maybe I'm right on something there. The more I
give into your teachings the more that shadow pops up and tells me I'm wrong
and don't think. Part of me wonders what you're hiding or what you don't want
to see. I'm not sure what I should think of you.
