--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, khazana108 <no_reply@...> wrote: > > > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, turquoiseb <no_reply@> wrote: > > > <snip> > > > Although, you have to admit that it's amusing from > > a psychology/sociology point of view. I'm amused by > > the phenomenon I call "throwing oneself on the turd." > > It's similar to that staple of war movies in which > > the hero (soon to be ex-hero) throws himself on the > > grenade to save his buddies, but in the FFL version > > it's what happens when one of the clique either > > suffers from poor impulse control or consciously > > decides to sacrifice themselves to get in one last > > barb at the Common Enemy, even though they know that > > it'll cause them to "post out" and sit on the Stupid > > People's Bench for a week. > > Ha ha, you mean solitary suicidal post-outs? That's what I like about you, > you immediately get the references I am making, and still top it. > > Actually, thinking about the post-out, I realize that it's really a blessing. > Doesn't it add an additional dimension to the FFL soap opera? I really like > it. IMO the bar could be lowered to about 30 to 35 posts per week. > > Generally speaking, I am not in favor of too many words. Maybe because I am > a foreigner, and a slow typer at that. But I also like the principle (from > movies): Don't say, show it. I like it generally in life. Where I was, in > India, that's a way of communicating. Just looking, giving a small nod or > hand-sign, and doing. When you go to the tea shop, the tea man/woman knows > what you want, it just gives it to you. No big fuss about things that are > evident. > > The same can apply here. Just use few words, as you say, throw a bone, and > watch the dog gripping it. Don't convince by words, demonstrate. Start the > dance, and then stop in the middle of it. This is a technique Gurdjieff > employed. Give the attention, and then withdraw it. Talking about detachment. > > Btw. in one of the guest houses in India, at the end of my trip I saw Ramas > book (surfing the Himalayas) and started to read a bit. I only finished about > chapter 4, but I noticed, that there were many topics in the book, you are > talking about. For example there is a chapter about hierarchical vs > relational amongst other things. It seems to be one of those books, that > creatively describe spiritual principles in a fictional story line. Anyway, > interesting read. > > > The fascinating thing about this phenomenon from a > > psychological or sociological point of view is that > > the last steaming turd is often thrown at someone > > who isn't even reading the thrower's posts. So the > > "turd offering" is not even "aimed" at the person > > it's supposedly thrown at. Instead it's thrown to > > curry favor with other women (even if they're not > > technically women, just acting like them) in their > > clique. What's up with that? Do they *collect* > > turds or something? :-) > > > > Speaking of interesting psychological/sociological > > phenomena, have you ever noticed that folks who > > talk the most about "forgiveness" and its healing > > power are coincidentally the same folks who hold > > onto grudges the longest, and keep demanding > > apologies from others for "offenses" supposedly > > committed weeks, months, or years ago? What's up > > with that, too? > > Now, I don't know, but I myself never asked or demanded an apology by anyone > online. So I don't really understand it. It's the same with that epithet > 'Liar'. I just don't get it. I have written years ago, many years ago, that > I think that it's something American to call each other Liar. I think its > less of a sin to lie in Europe. I wrote it off to reflect something of > American puritanism. I don't say, that people should lie or anything, it just > strikes me as an attribute Americans use more likely to denounce others than > Europeans for example. Just sayin.. >
Just to be clear, in Europe if I said, "khazana sucks Barry's cock," no one would call me a liar and you would be O.K. with that. > > > With this in mind, here are a number of quotes I > > found with regard to apology, or apologizing. I > > found them interesting, and you might, too: > > > > "No one who demands an apology deserves one." > > - Raymond Chandler > > > > "Demanding an apology is an attempt to prolong > > and escalate a disagreement, not diffuse it." > > - Fritz Perls > > > > "Anyone demanding an apology is an extortionist. > > They are declaring their intention to hold onto > > a grudge, whether real ore imaginary, until you > > pay their ransom. The thing is, just as with > > financial extortionists, if you pay the ransom > > you're just inviting the next attempt at extortion." > > - Dashiell Hammett > > > > "She stomped out, spun on her heel and said that > > if I didn't apologize she'd never speak to me > > again. I thanked her for getting the point, and > > closed the door." > > - Raymond Chandler > > > > "It is a good rule in life never to apologize. > > The right sort of people do not want apologies, > > and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them." > > - P. G. Wodehouse > > > > "Apologies can never be demanded, they're only > > apologies if they're offered freely." > > - some Buddha or another > > >
