--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "Ann" <awoelflebater@...> wrote: > > > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 <no_reply@> wrote: > > > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 <no_reply@> wrote: > > > > > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "Xenophaneros Anartaxius" > > > <anartaxius@> wrote: > > > > > > > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, laughinggull108 <no_reply@> wrote: > > > > > > > > > > So true and don't either of you forget it! From now on, you have to > > > > > go through me to get to my sweet innocent Baby Krishna Ravi. If you > > > > > wish to respond to Him, you must ask me first. I'll then consult with > > > > > Him in due time to see if He would like to even pursue your line of > > > > > discussion. If He chooses not to, then no reason to even post your > > > > > comments in the first place. A very efficient and effective use of > > > > > His precious time. And please try to remember... > > > > > > > > > > > I understand that you, Laughinggull, are now manning the ticket counter > > > > access to His Presence the Magisterial Royal Mahaswami Ravi Chivukula > > > > Guruji Mahatmaraja, beneath whom I am not fit to sweep even His Toe > > > > Nail Clippings. Pray tell upon what condition His Infiniteness might > > > > deign to drop a few crumbs of His Holy and Benign Darshan in my > > > > unworthy direction. Perhaps in a moment of His most offhand attention > > > > He would feel it barely tolerable to pass a kernel of His Most High > > > > Wisdom through you to us most thirsty and groveling, sycophantic > > > > worshipers of His Greatness. > > > > > > > > Perhaps you could collect a few grains left over from one of His > > > > Chapatis, that we could build a shrine to house them and perpetuate > > > > their Divine and most Humble power. > > > > > > > > > Scenario: A beat up saffron-colored Ford Ranger mini-pickup truck with a > > > rickety wooden camper shell parked beside a clear-flowing river with a > > > flashing neon sign hooked up to a 12-volt battery that reads "Water for > > > Sale". Leaning against the camper shell on the tailgate in his much too > > > tight, yet dapper, Shivaratri-best dhoti is our Laughing Protector of His > > > Holiness Raviji who appears to be either in samadhi or nodding off. (The > > > latter is probably the case since LPHHR's head occasionally drops > > > suddenly then quickly comes back up with a jerking motion.) Seeker Xeno > > > warily approaches while seekers Share and Steve maintain a relatively > > > safe distance about 50 yards away hidden in the lush vegetation growing > > > along the river on which seeker Share is busily munching and making soft > > > cooing sounds. Seeker Steve's eyes are focused on seeker Share, with an > > > occasional glance towards seeker Xeno, ever ready to jump in at a > > > moment's notice should the slightest danger present itself. A dry twig > > > snaps loudly under seeker Xeno's sandal-covered foot to which LPHHR > > > awakens with a start muttering "...yes...mmm...yes...hare Ravi...mmm..." > > > as if caught between an erotic dream and waking reality. > > > > > > Seeker Xeno is the first to speak: "Oh Laughing Protector and manner of > > > the Ticket Counter, I and my two seeker companions hiding back there in > > > the bushes have traveled long and far along this clear-flowing river and > > > are most thirsty for water. More importantly, and I can't speak for my > > > two seeker companions hiding back there in the bushes, I approach as a > > > groveling, sycophantic worshiper of His Greatness whose name is revered > > > far and wide throughout these lands of FFL, and desire greatly for just a > > > few crumbs of His Holy and Benign Darshan or maybe just a kernel of His > > > Most High Wisdom passed through you to me...uh, I mean us. Hey, seekers > > > Share and Steve, if you wanna get in on this, you better get up here > > > now..." > > > > > > Slightly disheveled seekers Share and Steve, with sheepish grins on their > > > glistening faces, emerge from the bushes. > > > > > > Fully-awakened (but not in the spiritual sense) LPHHR recognizing that he > > > has some shills...uh...potential clients speaks: "Yes indeedy...step > > > right up...step right up all ye sincere seekers of transitory...uh...I > > > mean permanent RR. First things first however. Cool, clear, > > > thirst-quenching water is $2 per cup or I can let you have an entire > > > quart for $10. So what will it be my most parched and sincere seekers?" > > > > > > After a brief consultation among the three seeker companions from whom > > > can be heard seeker Xeno "...the cups are cheaper" and seeker Share in > > > her most pouty voice "...but I want the quart!", seeker Xeno approaches > > > and says: "We'll take two quarts. And by the way, what's RR?" > > > > > > The scene fades to black as the first strains of "Amazing Grace" play > > > softly in the background. > > > > > > [to be continued...] > > > > > > > Scene fades in as the final strains of the gospel "Just As I Am" fade out > > softly in the background. > > > > Laughing Jelly Bean, formerly known as LPHHR, with a blissful smile on his > > pudgy yet somewhat handsome face, slips a slightly fatter wallet into the > > folds of his patched dhoti while the three seeker companions, seated on > > heavily worn straw mats for a very, very reasonable $1 per mat per half > > hour, have contented expressions on their faces as seeker Xeno drains the > > last few drops from his quart of water and seeker Share finishes the quart > > that she and seeker Steve decided to share...seeker Steve only drank half a > > cup before handing it to seeker Share, and she never gave it back but that > > doesn't matter to seeker Steve although he licks his still-parched lips as > > he watches the final drops disappear into seeker Share's mouth. > > > > Seeker Xeno, with a puzzled yet serene look on his face, keeps glancing > > from the clear-flowing waters of the river just a few feet away to his > > slightly lighter wallet, while seekers Share and Steve stare at each other > > as seeker Share coos softly, "My jelly bean Steve, you bad...but good, if > > you know what I mean..." and seeker Steve, longingly looking towards the > > bushes thirty yards or so away, murmurs "I really need that...". > > > > Seeker Xeno, in a calm, confident yet slightly impatient voice, is the > > first to break the silence: "Our physical thirsts have been quenched, oh > > Ticket Counter Keeper, however, our spiritual thirsts within our parched > > beings remain sharp and acute. With all due respect, I feel that we three > > are now ready for some darshan and wisdom from His Holiness, the Big R." > > > > LJB, sensing a slightly disrespectful tone in seeker Xeno's referral to his > > Master as the "Big R", responds sharply yet calmly: "Patience, my good man, > > patience...all in good time, all in good time. First, you must prove > > yourselves worthy of even the slightest and briefest of His Most Precious > > Attention, afterwhich we'll determine whether you have advanced enough > > along the path to be admitted to His Most Holy and Exalted Presence. To put > > us in the proper frame of mind, we will now meditate for some time, > > afterwhich you are to awaken me when you feel you are ready to begin your > > journey." > > > > Seekers Share and Steve, urgently heading for the bushes, call back in one > > voice like identical twins: "Xeno, back in a few...you can start without > > us." > > > > As seeker Xeno is seen positioning himself into full lotus, a proper > > Ghandarvaved raga conducive to deep meditation begins to play softly as the > > scene fades to black. > > > > The next scene slowly fades up to the gospel "Shall We Gather at the River" > > intermittant with the Beatles' "Fool on the Hill". > > > > Several hours have passed and seeker Xeno appears to be in deep samadhi > > with his head dropped against his chest, and there is no sign of seekers > > Share and Steve. The back of the rickety camper shell on the > > saffron-colored beat up Ford Ranger mini-pickup truck has been opened, and > > LJB can be seen putting the final touches on various and sundry items > > displayed temptingly yet tastefully on the tailgate. > > > > When satisfied with his arrangement, LJB nods self-satisfyingly to himself, > > and laughing quietly with a slight air of sinisterness, approaches seeker > > Xeno like a spider approaches his captured prey, bends towards his ear and > > softly whispers: "Now, slowly open the eyes." > > > > [...to be continued...maybe] > > More! More! > > > A few minutes later, Xeno's eyelids flutter, and his eyes begin to open, downcast. He is still deep within. LJB, sensing his pending mercantile triumph, makes a few nervous adjustments to his display, and stands back.
Xeno, having emerged from a deeply golden and glorious place, now looks upon the raft of LJB's Divine treasures, arranged like baby's candy on the tailgate. As he awakes to the world around him, Xeno's eyes first settle on a necklace of mystical beads, among the tantalizing offerings. Each bead perfectly formed, the exact shape and color of the previous one. A flush of Bliss runs up Xeno's spine, a sign that he must have the strand. He points a dignified finger and silently inquires, "How much?" LJB can barely contain himself. Right off, Xeno has gone for the cash cow! Plastic rudraksha beads, bought in bulk off the web, from a joint in Delhi, for 15 rupees a pop (about 29 cents, US), and sold to the seekers for 20 bucks each! Jai Guru Dev! [...to be continued...maybe]
