funny - Hey, Barry, want to be my pool boy? It could help out with your rent... ---In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, <steve.sundur@...> wrote :
I thought there were some funny lines. I especially liked my depiction. Edg's too. (-: ---In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, <mjackson74@...> wrote : This post was a great thing to wake up to! You nailed it pretty well - my favorite has to be: "Repairing Your Car With Jyotish And Gemstones." From: "TurquoiseBee turquoiseb@... [FairfieldLife]" <FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com> To: "FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com" <FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com> Sent: Wednesday, August 20, 2014 2:54 AM Subject: Re: [FairfieldLife] part 3 (plus The Future Of FFL) Ah, the Day In The Life saga continues... :-) I'm looking forward to finding out what life in The Colony is like, who runs it, and what the punishments are for transgressors. :-) As an aside, all these glimpses into the illustrious virtual future of the TMO have left me wondering what the similar virtual future of FFL will be. I don't have to go as far into the future as Michael did for his musings because I suspect that within a year there will only be a few posters left, the others having long ago realized that watching paint dry was more entertaining. So here's what's left: *Richard (Willytex) is still making 150-200 posts a week, even though no one ever reads or responds to them. He never notices. * Rick is still posting notices about new interviewees on Batgap, but no one ever discusses anything any of them say, because no one really gives a shit about the "everyday enlightened." Everybody wants tales of the "flashy enlightened." * Lawson is still searching for that definitive scientific study that proves that he didn't waste his life on TM, and is becoming a bit testy when people point out that this search is becoming even more a waste of life than TM was. * Edg is largely silent after having been inducted into the Grumpy Old Man Hall Of Fame. * Bhairitu no longer posts about conspiracy theories because he's not allowed to from Guantanamo. * Jim is still trying to convince someone -- anyone -- that he's enlightened. And still without success. He's still living in a trailer park, but a different one because he tried that "I'm enlightened and you're not and that makes me better than you" routine on his neighbors in Chico and they laughed him out of town. * Nabby is Missing In Action. No one has seen him or heard from him since the night he spent in a cornfield waiting for the Space Brothers, only to be buggered senseless by them. * Share is still a blissninny. She recently attended a seminar entitled "Repairing Your Car With Jyotish And Gemstones." * Salyavin and Anartaxius are still making sense and acting sane. No one pays any attention to them because where's the fun in that? * Michael Jackson has turned his Day In The Life Of A TMer series into a best-selling series of books and an HBO TV series. He's now so rich that he's hired Steve as his PR person, because Steve always claimed to know Michael better than he knew himself, so he was perfect for the position. * Judy never came back from her "summer off" because she realized that almost no one even noticed she was away. She now writes a column for a New Jersey website called "I'm Smarter Than You Are, And I Can Prove It." Last year the site got seven "hits" from readers. * Ann is still making desperate "Pay attention to me" posts, just as she always did, even though everyone wrote her off as a needy little attention vampire years ago. Even Share ignores her. * Barry still sits in cafes and writes, but doesn't post what he writes to FFL any more because the cafes are in the south of France and the women walking by are far too attractive and far too interesting for him to spend any of his time chatting with cult losers. :-) From: "Michael Jackson mjackson74@... [FairfieldLife]" <FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com> To: "FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com" <FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com> Sent: Tuesday, August 19, 2014 9:58 PM Subject: [FairfieldLife] part 3 Day in the Life (of a TM'er) Part 3 Governor got up after resting and with all the other governors, gathered his pillow, backjack and blanket since it was sheet exchange day. The siddhas and governors themselves wouldn't have to remove the sheets, that was done by a team of meditators who had been carefully vetted and investigated by the Purusha Police before being given license to enter the Domes for menial labor. Most labor jobs were now done by the meditators. It was an excellent set up for the siddhas and governors because, due to Vedic Law, the meditators were available at all times of day and night when the more important members of Vedic Society were needing to rest, do program or have meetings. Since everyone in the New Vedic State of Iowa who had the siddhis was enlightened it was no longer deemed necessary to have meditators do group program anymore since the siddhas, governors and Rajas supplied enough sattva for the entire planet. To be sure the meditators had to meditate twice a day, that was Vedic Law, but they had to squeeze their meditations in wherever they could since it was much more important for them to serve the governors and siddhas. It was considered their tapas for enlightenment. At one time serious consideration was undertaken to make the Governors serve the Rajas and the siddhas serve the governors the governors and themselves and the meditators were reserved for septic tank cleaning, road kill removal and so on. Some very wealthy and Movement powerful siddha families eventually got that idea quashed, although Neal Patterson, Supreme Ruler of the Vedic Nation of Canada had instituted that very program in his country after the Governors and Siddhas had taken over the country and converted it to a Vedic Society. Just after this law of siddha servitude was enacted, there was a mass exodus of siddhas from Canada to the US. Supreme Ruler Neal tried to get them back, but Big Bevan told him not to send his Canuck Purusha across the border. The allegation that some of the Canadian siddhas offered their women to Bevan in exchange for asylum was of course rumor. Bevan did privately offer to send some of the siddhas back, but only in exchange for Supreme Ruler Neal getting his hands on one of the Vedic State's most wanted – a Canadian woman who had once made the nastiest allegations about the Rajas crowns being made of tin. Unfortunately this former MIU graduate lived in British Columbia, the one segment of Canada that had not been taken over by the Movement. Neal sent some Purusha who had a fascination for ninja literature and fancied themselves to be Purusha ninja, but being inept they failed to even identify the woman they were after and several of them were caught and jailed by the BC police. Next the European Rajas sent a contingent of German Purusha to do the job and they proved even more inept. They did find the woman but she kicked the asses of five of them before the BC police arrived to cart them off. When Bevan mocked Supreme Ruler Neal's efforts things went downhill. The last meeting the two men had in a border town in North Dakota had not gone well. But none of the Purusha guards who had been assigned to security for the meeting would ever confirm that shouts of "Fat ass Yank!" and "Fucking Canuck Puff!" had been heard behind closed doors there. Exiting the Dome was going slowly and as Governor approached the exits in the four abreast line he was moving in, he saw the reason. Tables had been set up nearly blocking the exits. Behind the tables sat numerous Ministers of Donations, Collections and Revenue. This was by far the largest of the Movement Ministries and it looked like nearly half its Vedic State of Iowa Ministers were right there blocking the exits from the Dome. No one could get by without first dropping cash or checks into the hands of the Ministers. King Tony and Bevan were gleefully overseeing the Raja Crown and Robe Collection Fund. "That's it boys! Give till it hurts!" crowed Bevan who along with King Tony caressed each check before handing it over to the Ministers. Slowly Governor reached the table and wrote out a large and generous check. He handed it to Bevan who looked at it and nodded. "Good boy! Keep that up and you may become a Raja yet!" King Tony quickly clapped his hand over his own mouth to stifle a snort, but the Ministers all snickered with abandon. Governor didn't mind giving such a large donation because he knew he would make the money back just by walking around outside. Governor had spontaneously developed the siddhi that caused rubies and other precious gems to leap out of the ground and into his pockets. He should have been a very wealthy man as a result, but the mandatory 90% Maharishi Vedic Tax™ on all siddha and governor income required him to give most of his gems to the Movement. He was an extremely popular governor as a result of his siddhi, but it was also the reason he would never become a Raja. Rajas were exempt from paying any sort of tax or donation to the Movement and Girish, the Srivastavas brothers, Bevan, King Tony and everyone else who lived off the TMO were not willing to give up 90% of his gem income. The Movement would often send Governor to Montana and Western North Carolina to just walk around and allow the gems to leap into his pockets. As he would come back from his walks, Girish's representatives, all Indian gem experts, would eagerly fondle the stones and take the best for themselves and Girish. Governor would make do with the rest. Governor had to pay for these gem hunting trips himself, but as King Tony and Bevan would say as they pocketed some of his rubies and sapphires just before boarding their private jet – "What's good for the Movement is good for you too, Governor!" As Governor was thinking of taking a trip to gem bearing country, he heard a commotion. One of the siddhas was yelling and gesticulating. A crowd of yogic flyers gathered round him and were listening to him shout something about sheep. Governor moved closer to the commotion and realized it was a man called Buck. "The gaddamn bastards have ruined my crops! They stole my gaddamn sheep too!" It seems that during program, a Mother Ship had come down squarely in the middle of Farmer Siddha Bucks alfalfa and soybean crop and created some elaborate crop designs. They had apparently also made off with a dozen or so of his best sheep and lambs. Buck's farm was no great distance from the Domes and you could see the designs in his crops. In addition, some of his meditator farm workers were waiting for him outside the Dome and two of them had taken video of the ship coming down, making the designs and several very human looking aliens exiting the ship, driving the sheep back into the ship and then taking off. Buck seemed to be perilously close to unstressing. "What the fuck! What would aliens want with my gaddamn sheep! Those were my prize winners! I want my gaddamn sheep back! Whose gonna pay for the crop loss I want to know!?" "Vat are you complaining about, Buck?" a tall scrawny governor with a thick German accent was strutting around near Buck. "Keep your mouth calm siddha! You should feel grateful zat ze Space Bruzzers chose to bless your farm mit zeir presence. It’s a great blessing!" "But why did they take my sheep! These images in the video look like some European Rajas I saw once – what the fuck?!" shouted Buck. "Careful vat choo say siddha! Don't make unfounded allegations or I shall have to report you to ze Purusha Police! Ze Space Bruzzers probably vanted to make zome kind of sacrifice to Maitreya, zat's vat it must be, ja ja! So calm yourself down before ve haf to go get ze Purusha Police, ja?" Buck's friends and meditator workers hustled him away from the scribbly German governor. Governor shook his head and began to walk to his car. As he walked, he could see a few women exiting from the Ladies Dome. There were hundreds of men doing program this morning but only a few dozen ladies. It was his wife's first day of her cycle after all and most of the ladies in the New Vedic State of Iowa were spontaneously vedically synchronized together with their cycles. Those few ladies who did not start their cycles with the entire group of ladies were looked upon as rather odd, some even thought they might be guilty of one of the highest crimes in the new Vedic State of Iowa and that was being Off The Program, that's why those un-ayurvedic ladies were closely watched by the Mother Divine Diligent Watchers, the information collection arm of the Mother Divine portion of the Movement who reported all female unstressing, program violations and any OTP activity. There was very little OTP activity anymore since being convicted of an OTP offense carried a mandatory reeducation sentence. Three OTP convictions resulted in relocation to The Colony. End of Part 3
