Caveat 1: this is just about a dream. Caveat 2: any persons mentioned in the following story, are just their dream versions, and not their real counterparts. Caveat 3: this story is just the result of random neuron activity in the brain. There is no deeper meaning or sense. ;-) I had a crazy dream the other night. It was just a dream, and crazy at that, have this in mind. In my dreams, I finally decided, that I would submit to the atheist world-view, being finally tired of defending a personal god, I thought to find a final and clean resolution. But in order to become an atheist, and not only an-atheist-by-self-proclamation, I had to visit a council, where I had to submit my views, and which would finally check on all my hidden assumptions, and if there was still a trace of theism left in me. So I summoned all my courage and went to the high-court of atheism, there was a panel of 3 people, sitting behind a desk, and, in my dream as it was, I thought the chairman was Richard Dawkins himself. To his right, there was his own book, The God Delusion, and to his left, it's ancient ancestor, the book by Charles Darwin himself.
Richard first asked me, if I was sure that I would like to become an atheist now, an approved and certified atheist at that, as he emphasized. I said yes, this is why I was here. He nodded in agreement. He said, we just like to ask you a few questions, so that you can still think about and check your resolve. I nodded. So, he continued, you do not believe in any kind of god, not Christian, not Muslim, not ancient greek or Roman, not Hindu or Buddhist either? I said, no, no, none of it. He smiled satisfied, so may I ask you, do you still possess any religious books, you know, like the Bible, or the Koran, or the Bhagavad Gita, on any media, like paper print, or as e-books? I said, no, I threw it all away, maybe I had some PDF files somewhere on my computer, or on an old back-up disc, but I would check everything, and would get rid of it, as I am really determined, to become a 100% atheist. Again Dawkins smiled, and said: we need people like this, especially in todays world, where religious fundamentalism on the one hand, and pseudo spiritual superstitions on the other hand, are on the rise again. He then asked, what about new age books, channellings, or books by - now he hesitated a bit, to even pronounce the name - Deepak Chopra. I said that I had read some of his books, but that, at the time, I didn't recognize them as religious. I had thought they were quantum mechanics, at which mention Dawkins shuddered. I might still have some in my bookshelf, which I am sure to give a more thorough look, and I would get rid of all of it, including any books about such pseudo scientific subjects as astrology, tarot, or any other new age subjects. I was clearly determined to become a good atheist, and Dawkins realized that I was honest in this. He emphasized that atheists are of course free to read whatever they wanted, because they are after all the real free people, but they had made the experience, that at the beginning of embarking on a new conviction, old habits may still set in, and therefore all these measures where just there to help me, to become independent of religious thinking, and strengthen my rational thoughts, and actively reject irrationality. So if I was to read any religious texts, I should always read them in the context, and with the purpose to detect the superstitions contained in them. He said, that the root of all evil is religious superstition and irrational thinking. He mentioned a number of recent wars and explained how religion was involved in it. He asked me if I had ever embarked upon atheism before. I said yes, but that I was still in my adolescence, and I hadn't gone very professional about it. Probably I just thought that I was an atheist, but still had hidden beliefs that I didn't detect and recognize as such, and therefore I had a serious regression into religion, which lasted for decades. Dawkins nodded thoughtfully in agreement. Now I wanted to be sure, that this won't happen again. I had one more question: what about meditation, I asked, can I do meditation? At this point, as this was a dream, the face of Dawkins changed into that of Curtis, and with a fatherly clap on my shoulder he said: there is no harm in meditation itself. Just know that any thought, or feeling, or vision or whatever experience you may get, it is just the random firing of neurons in your brain. As this is so, there is no need for analyzing thoughts or taking them serious. The same is true for any experience. And, he added, with another clap on my shoulder, the mantra has no meaning, there is no woo woo in it at all. So, just relax, and enjoy your life. It which the face changed again into Dawkins. Dawkins made clear that all mystical experiences cannot be taken seriously, and as most other irrational thought of man, had no meaning at all. He also emphasized, that if science doesn't give any meaning, then there simply isn't any. This was very important, because otherwise, the door to all superstitions would be opened again, and that the superstitions, have a way with the human consciousness, so, no matter how sophisticated your thoughts, or experiences would be, they would enter this door again, and this would be a serious crisis, and the beginning of the regress into irrational thinking. Richard stood up, and ask me to also stand. He became very serious: there is one more thing, he said. Atheism itself is not a belief. It is a rejection of all belief, final and absolute! Once you have rejected belief, you will be finally free of all believes. As the object of atheism is not a god, it does not have an object, and it rejects not to make any statement about our existence as such. Something that doesn't exist, doesn't have to be proved. Do you agree? I thought for a while, because I had indeed thought, that atheism is also a form of a believe, just different in nature as theism is. I thought, if this is a belief, then the absence of this is a belief as well, as we don't have knowledge of either, but Richard explained, that the burden of proof is on the one who makes the first statement, and that is theism. Consequently atheism doesn't count as belief. Finally, I thought, I will also go so far. I was almost accepted, and I would leave this room being a fully fledged atheist. He made me lay my left hand on his book, and my right hand on the book of Darwin, and I had to pronounce aloud: I do not believe in any god, or any other superstition. I will from now on reject all irrational thought. Dawkins was obviously satisfied with me. He reached me a certificate, that I am now an approved atheist. He said, that I should continue to work on my rejection of all irrational thought and superstitions, and that I should be prepared to find them throughtout life, in my habits and in my most secret thoughts. But my resolve to be an atheist was the most important thing, the basis for everything. I should now pronounce to all my friends and family members, that I am an atheist, and should show that, by challenging them, whenever they where articulating religious beliefs. There where also regular services in some towns, where like-minded people could meet, so we could all get strengthened in our resolve. The shop held a number of articles, bumper stickers and t-shirts, and of course, most importantly the books and pamphlets. I could also donate money to the atheist bus campaign, which raises awareness about the advantages of atheism, and the harmfulness of superstitions and religion in general. I got a t-shirt and a bumper sticker. Everybody of my friends would now know, that I am an atheist, I was really proud, almost euphoric. Then I awoke. The dream was so lively so vivid, that I thought, it must have a lucid dream, everything just seemed completely real. But now I was confused. If everything was just a dream, if my resolve to become an atheist was just a dream, am I now an atheist. I didn't have the certificate, the bumper sticker and the t-shirt as a proof, that everything had really happened. So, the whole council was not real, maybe just an irrational thought at this, just more unscientific illusions. Was I now an atheist or not, was it just my dream-self making this resolution, and was I really convinced myself or not? If this dream is was so vivid, and if I really had believed in this dream, then my experience had fooled me absolutely, even though I was prepared to reject all illusions. How could I be sure that this, is not yet another dream, just one dream within the other? I was confused and disturbed. Then I nodded in again, and had a kind of a daydream. This time I was at the ocean, and there was a little boy, dressed like a Buddhist playing. I asked him, who are you? I am the little Buddha boy. What are you doing? He said, I'm just hanging around. I said that I had a real problem with reality, that I didn't know, what was real, and what was illusory. He shrugged his shoulder. I said that in a dream, I had made a resolve, but I wasn't sure if the same was true for the waking state. I asked, is there a dream-self and a waking self who are different. He said that at each moment there is a different self, and that the self of one moment is not the self of the next moment, that indeed, there is no self at all, and that all these moments are just connected by the continuity of thinking, and that any resolve or thought would just reinforce this sense of continuity. I said, that this was about a real important issue, something about the fundamentals of belief. He said, there are no important issues, all the selves are devoid of being, they are just like empty shells, they just get connected and seemingly make up a self. I said, that my waking self thinks different, then my dream-self. He said, so what? It is no important. At this I awoke a second time, and I was in peace.
