--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Vaj <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: It > > hurts to be denounced when in posts one objects to such things. > > But that's just another afternoon as life of a survivor who's going > > through the emotional healing. > > Imagine adopting a child like this. > > I can't tell you the hell these kids go through. While I wouldn't > suggest anyone adopt a child with severe Reactive Attachment > Disorder, I do know there is a great need for these children to have > treatment at the outpatient and the inpatient long term settings. Our > foster care systems breed these conditions--trust me on that. And if > they go untreated, these are sociopaths in training, just waiting to > be unleashed on society. >
Not every child develops AD. Some merely develop PTSD with a few big Ts and a some little Ts. It's the little Ts that are hard to work on. Not every one of them become sociopaths. Some go on to become very loving, productive and useful members of society although they do carry around a great deal of hurt and in this child's case, terror and anger. The terror kept the anger in check. As usual it depends on the child. They're not all cut out of the same batch of cookie dough. It's becoming well established that children become who they are and the adults they'll become through nature, nurture and chance. Recent studies of grown twins bear out the chance part to be very important. Astologers make a big deal out of the seconds between births. Twins studies increasingly show that the smallest, almost inperceiveable differences in environment each twin experiences makes a big differnce in who and what they become. This child was exceedingly resilent though constant terror, especially of being murdered by his mother made and kept this particular child both hypervigilant and more resilent. The child's strong religous beliefs and faith helped as well. AD has a lot more to do with very early experience. There was enough love in this child's relationship with his parents (thought the true account didn't make it seem that way) such that he did not fail to develop a conscious. He developed an overactive conscience. He spent a great deal of his life attempting to save others from their misery, perhaps because his mother and father flipped/flopped between being abusive and begging for love, understanding and care, perhaps he was playing out the wanting to be saved from misery himself. Some of the wanting to save can show itself in very bizarre ways, like taking a black crack addict he befriended to Mt. Pleasant, IA with him to see Amma. Instead of playing football in college, he was a cadet on the volunteer first aid squad and since he was too young to drive, would end up often alone with the patient in the back of the ambulance on the way to the hospital. He got to deliver babies, though still in many ways a child himself, valently tried to recussitate those who were already dead. He went on to be a high school star, went on to college/medical school (the Six Year Medical School at a prestigous university), left medical school because he found being around sick people too demanding of his empathy/sympathy, fell in love, married, became a young widower who never remarried. He was then and is still considered by women to be a "good catch" because of his income, devotion and, yes, ability to show affection, caring and love. The tragedy of this particular child is that there was no social system in his surburban/collegate area. Think of Mt. Pleasent, IA sans the mental hospital in the 1950s. The thought of foster care never came up because child abuse (and even the rapes by the child's uncle) were not seen as such (hence the denial by the police, neighbors, relatives and school counselors that there was a problem). Also, the child seemed somewhat troubled but developed normally. The belief that such a thing couldn't possibly happen in the boy's community was also a blessing in disguise. Instead of entering "the system", he stayed with his parents. Had the child been separated from his parents, it would have been traumatic, as he developed a sort of Patty Hurst syndrome. Had he been a foster child, his ability to attach, ability to love and intellect would not have made him a horror but a joy to have, love and hold. As the man develops close friendships with men older than himself and outs himself to them, he finds that many pillars of society grew up with childhoods even more horrific than his. It's the very "system" you reference and increasingly urban life which turns such child into sociopaths. ------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~--> Does he tell you he loves you when he hits you? Abuse. Narrated by Halle Berry. http://us.click.yahoo.com/HcoraC/rbOLAA/d1hLAA/0NYolB/TM --------------------------------------------------------------------~-> To subscribe, send a message to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Or go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ and click 'Join This Group!' Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
