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"The experience of the Self, or "self-referral,"
means that our internal reference point is our own spirit, and not the object of
our experience. The opposite of self-referral is object-referral. In
object-referral we are always influenced by objects outside the Self, which
include situations, circumstances, people, and things. In object-referral
we are constantly seeking the approval of others. Our thinking and our
behavior are always in anticipation of a response. It is therefore
fear-based.
In object-referral we also feel an intense need to
control things. We feel an intense need for external power. The need
for approval, the need to control things, and the need for external power are
needs that are based on fear. This kind of power is not the power of pure
potentiality, or the power of the Self, or /real/ power. When we
experience the power of the Self, there is an absence of fear, there is no
compulsion to control, and no struggle for approval or external
power.
In object-referral, your internal reference point
is your ego. The ego, however, is not who you really are. The ego is
your self-image; it is your social mask; it is the role you are
playing. Your social mask thrives on approval. It wants to
control, and it is sustained by power, because it lives in fear.
Your true Self, which is your spirit, your soul, is
completely free of those things. It is immune to criticism, it is
unfearful of any challenge, and it feels beneath no one. And yet, it is
also humble and feels superior to no one, because it recognizes that everyone
else is the same Self, the same spirit in different disguises.
That's the essential difference between
object-referral and self-referral. In self-referral, you experience your true
being, which is unfearful of any change, has respect for all people, and feels
beneath no one. Self-power is therefore true power.
Power based on object-referral, however, is false
power. Being ego-based power, it lasts only as long as the object of
reference is there. If you have a certain title -- if you're the president
of the country or the chairman of a corporation -- or if you have a lot of
money, the power you enjoy goes with the title, with the job, with the
money. Ego-based power will only last as long as those things last.
As soon as the title, the job, the money go way, so does the power.
Self-power, on the other hand, is permanent,
because it is based on the knowledge of the Self. And there are certain
characteristics of self-power. It draws people to you, and it also draws
things that you want to you. It magnetizes people, situations, and
circumstances to support your desires. This is also called support from
the laws of nature. It is the support of divinity; it is the support
that comes from being in the state of grace. Your power is such that you
enjoy a bond with people, and people enjoy a bond with you. Your power is
that of bonding -- a boding that comes from true love."
--Deepak Chropa, The Seven Spiritual Laws of
Success
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