We all know from everyday experience that questions (curiosity) gener-
ally can have two very distinct purposes, even in mundane conversation:
1. To actually gain understanding, as sincere inquiries; to create
love/togetherness/unity by going deeper into knowledge; to open
the conduit for richer flow of knowledge.
2. To hide something behind the smokescreen of a question:
a. To hide our criticism/anger, to avoid making a directly critical
statement.
b. To hide that we're trying to control or dominate someone - to
hide that we're trying to manipulate someone or trying to engage
someone in a game.
c. To create doubt/division/fear.
In this case, questions are actually deceptions, a kind of passive/
aggressive behavior. Rather than saying what we feel in direct
statements, we hide behind questions. If challenged, if our true
but hidden feelings or motives are noticed, we can always say "I
didn't mean any criticism - I was just wondering...". Often it is
apparent to observers, and to the recipient of the "question", that
we were NOT "just wondering". The question has an obvious edge to
it, or it asks for an answer that we already know or could figure
out, or it is pretty blatantly a manipulation, or it just leaves
the recipient feeling odd, as though they've been tricked or mess-
ed with.
Michael, have you ever heard the expression, "Get a life"? That was meant completely sincerely.
Sal
