--- In [EMAIL PROTECTED], "curtisdeltablues" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > I am proposing that the word "God" be scrapped for the improved > term, "Blibity Blap" because that gives the listener a quicker > appreciation of the fact that the speaker, or writer, is now > talking out of the orifice without the molars.
Chaplain: Let us praise Blibity Blap. O Blibity Blap... Congregation: O Blibity Blap... Chaplain: ...Ooh, You are so big... Congregation: ...ooh, You are so big... Chaplain: ...So absolutely huge. Congregation: ...So absolutely huge. Chaplain: Gosh, we're all really impressed down here, I can tell You. Congregation: Gosh, we're all really impressed down here, I can tell You. Chaplain: Forgive us, O Blibity Blap, for this, our dreadful toadying, and... Congregation: And barefaced flattery. Chaplain: But You are so strong and, well, just so super. Congregation: Fantastic. Humphrey: Amen. Congregation: Amen. > The term "God" has outlived its usefulness, and now coveys > the sense of gravitas that is both undeserved and ridiculous. > My Betta fish define "God" as the huge monster who interrupts > his making of rhythmic thunder (great band name) to drop food > pellets into their water. This definition is much more deserved > than the murky one most people have rattling around. Various quotes collected over the years that convey my appreciation of Blibity Blap or His non-existence, whichever comes first: "Ripple in still water, When there is no pebble tossed, Nor wind to blow." - Hunter/Garcia "Just a box of rain, wind and water, Sun and shower, wind and rain, In and out the window like a moth before a flame. And its just a box of rain, I don't know who put it there, Believe it if you need it, or leave it if you dare. And its just a box of rain, or a ribbon for your hair; Such a long, long time to be gone, and a short time to be there." - Hunter/Garcia "We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart." - H. L. Mencken "Just remain in the center, watching. And then forget that you are there." - Lao-tzu "O Seeker! Rely on nothing until you want nothing." - Buddha, the Dhamapada "The mind is not a vessel to be filled. It is a fire to be kindled." - Plutarch "Given the choice between a dog biscuit and a Buddha nature, is there any question which a dog would choose?" - John Morton (a.k.a. Ned Ludd, on alt.buddha.short.fat.guy) "Confusion is enlightenment in drag." - anonymous "The trouble with born-again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain the second time around." - Herb Caen "Show me a man who lives alone and has a perpetually clean kitchen, and 8 times out of 9 I'll show you a man with detestable spiritual qualities." - Charles Bukowski "Zen does not confuse spirituality with thinking about God while one is peeling potatoes. Zen spirituality is just to peel the potatoes." - Alan Watts "Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth." - Alan Watts "A man may be a pessimistic determinist before lunch and an optimistic believer in the will's freedom after it." - Aldous Huxley "If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank." - Woody Allen "We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality." - Albert Einstein "The most beautiful emotion we can experience is the mystical. It is the power of all true art and science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead. To know that what is impenetrable to us really exists, manifesting itself as the highest wisdom and the most radiant beauty, which our dull faculties can comprehend only in their most primitive forms-this knowledge, this feeling, is at the center of true religiousness. In this sense, and in this sense only, I belong to the rank of devoutly religious men." - Albert Einstein "One of the annoying things about believing in free will and individual responsibility is the difficulty of finding somebody to blame your problems on. And when you do find somebody, it's remarkable how often his picture turns up on your driver's license." - P. J. O'Rourke "Certainty -- It is the dull man who is always sure, and the sure man who is always dull." - H. L. Mencken "The irrationality of a thing is no argument against its existence, rather a condition of it." - Friedrich Nietzsche "I don't pretend to understand the Universe -- it's a great deal bigger than I am." - Thomas Carlyle "Anyone informed that the universe is expanding and contracting in pulsations of eighty billion years has a right to ask, 'What's in it for me?'" - Peter De Vries "I have never grown out of the infantile belief that the universe was made for me to suck." - Aleister Crowley "Now my own suspicion is that the Universe is not only queerer than we suppose, but queerer than we can suppose." - J. B. S. Haldane "Whatever universe a professor believes in must at any rate be a universe that lends itself to lengthy discourse. A universe definable in two sentences is something for which the professorial intellect has no use. No faith in anything of that cheap kind!" - William James "Nothing is accidental in the universe -- this is one of my Laws of Physics -- except the entire universe itself, which is Pure Accident, pure divinity." - Joyce Carol Oates "The universe is one of God's thoughts." - Friedrich Von Schiller "The universe is wider than our views of it." - Henry David Thoreau "Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches." - Jim Carrey "Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don't eat pork. I'm sorry, what was that last one? Don't eat pork? God has spoken. Is that the word of God or is that pigs trying to outsmart everybody?" - Jon Stewart "If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology." - Jay Leno "The unborn child, who swims in darkness, Knows more of life outside the womb, Than we, who think we know what light is, Comprehend of life beyond the tomb." - C. S. Lewis "You know you've created God in your own image when he hates the exact same people that you do." - Gordon Charrick "If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to." - Dorothy Parker "A disciple is an asshole, looking for a human being to attach itself to." - Robert Anton Wilson "See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time." - Robin Williams "Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that needs our love." - Rilke "If at first the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it." - Albert Einstein "Learn as if you were to live forever, live as if you were to die tomorrow." - Gandhi "Like God's own chocolate, I would lick her shadow off a hot sidewalk." - Christopher Moore "Good Americans, when they die, go to Heaven. Very, very good Americans go to Paris." - Oscar Wilde "One can't believe impossible things," said Alice. "I daresay you haven't had much practice," said the queen. "When I was your age I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed six impossible things before breakfast." - Lewis Carroll "The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast." - Oscar Wilde "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." - Oscar Wilde
