[ I wrote this yesterday night, but didn't post it at that time because it didn't seem to "fit" with the topics being discussed. It still doesn't, but here goes anyway. If Edg and Curtis can write about their everyday lives as if they were some kind of spiritual sadhana, I guess I can, too. - Unc ]
"The mind is drawn to ever-increasing levels of bliss." Or something to that effect. That's what the man said. Those are the first words that Maharishi spoke that really *resonated* with me, all those years ago in the Greek Theater in Los Angeles, 1967. For me, a BTDT hippie searching for a saner path through life than psychedelics, those words really "caught the wave" of my life. At 21, I had *done* sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll, right on the front lines of all three war zones, and none of them (despite their undeniable charms) had taken me where they had promised. So I was in search of Something Else, another goal and path to focus on to inspire me to keep on keepin' on. And Maharishi just *nailed* it with that phrase. In retrospect, I suspect that even at the time, I "signed on" more to that phrase, and that lifestyle, than I "signed on" with Maharishi personally. But I followed the path suggested by that phrase, and him, and with heart, for fourteen years. And when the time came when ever-increasing levels of bliss were no longer found within the TM movement and with Maharishi, I followed the spirit of what he had said that day in the Greek Theater in Los Angeles, even though it drew me away from him. I followed the bliss, not the man who had told me about the bliss. And I thank him, in my way, for being the first person in my life to ever put the simple truth of "Follow your bliss" into words, by living the truth of those words in my own life. I have pretty much *always* followed my bliss. Damn making sense. Damn tradition. Damn career. Damn what anyone else thinks of the irrational decisions I am making. If the decisions lead me in the direction of greater bliss (in my *own* definition of bliss, that is, not anyone else's definition), then at this point I really don't see the percentage in *not* following the bliss. Doing so has worked out rather well for me for forty years now. I've had one phwam! of a life as a result of following Maharishi's advice about paying attention to that which seems to offer increasing levels of bliss. This is all relevant to me today because yesterday I signed a lease on an apartment in a beach town in Spain, and will be moving there in September. To do this I will be leaving One Of My Best Designs For Paradise So Far, in favor of another, hopefully a more evolved design. I mean, I live right now inside one of my fantasies from earlier in my life, in a tiny medieval village where the heretics I am interested in as a writer and as a spiritual seeker once trod. I live in an apartment built on the original 10th-century city walls in an apartment that costs me 450 Euros a month, and would continue to cost me that for the rest of my life. That is my agreement with the Crumbs, should I choose to stay *for* the rest of my days. That's quite an offer. The village is wonderful, the offer is wonderful, and the Crumbs are wonderful, and I'm moving to Spain anyway. Go figure. Following one's bliss is all about that ineffable quality of life that you can't put into words, try as you might. For me, making this decision, it's all about silence. How do you put *that* into words? I stand on the ramparts of Sauve tonight and I feel the level of silence here, and I marvel at its depth. And then I take a deep breath and remember the silence in Sitges...present in the most crowded chiringuito, in the noisiest nightclub street, or, moments later, in the deserted square in front of the 15th-century church, gazing out to sea, and there is just simply No Question about which level of silence draws me more. I've tried my best to fight it. I've taken this decision through all the sane, rational, intellectual hoops, and moving to Spain makes no sense at all. It's folly. But I'm moving anyway, and it's all about the silence. The apartment I'll be living in there is on one of the busiest streets in town, a block from the beach, and full of crowds at all hours of the day or night. But step inside the door and close it and miraculously, the noise of that world just Goes Away and opens into a pretty wonderful apartment. And then that apartment opens onto The Garden. It was The Garden that did it. It's immense, lovely, private, and with a level of silence in it that is astounding. I sit in The Garden, only steps away from the busiest street in a busy beach town, and samadhi just overtakes me. It overtook me in the real estate agent's office when I first saw it in a photograph of the property. The moment I saw that photograph, I knew I was a goner. Seeing the actual property was like an afterthought, a formality that I had to go through, even though the decision had been made. It was that sudden. Go figure. So, although it makes no sense at all, I'm walking away from the way cool situation in Sauve, my current paradise, and "trading up" to another way cool situation that beckons more strongly. It could be a real letdown. I might move there and realize I've made a terrible mistake. But I don't think that's going to happen, because the "follow your bliss" signs are all there. I liked the selves that danced across my Self when I was in Sitges, and I'd like to see more of them dancing. I look forward to many moonlight conversations in The Garden, under the Catalunya moon, with people I've met for the first time that day on the busy, Tantric streets of Sitges.
