--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, TurquoiseB <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "curtisdeltablues" > <curtisdeltablues@> wrote: > > > > Rory: > > > "Right, you didn't offer me that marvelous image to play with > > > -- but you *did* (in my reality anyhow) offer me your pain, > > > which was all I really wanted. To whatever degree You and I > > > are separate, my heartfelt thanks to You :-)" > > > > Me: I have been enjoying lurking I have been thinking something > > about how you write that I would like to run by you Rory. I > > think you are using language that very carefully does separate > > you from the person you are responding to. Almost to a post there > > is an assertion of your separateness, specialness. I think it is > > very important for you to present yourself as having a special > > relationship with the world.
There are two different things being talked about here; two separate domains. To say we are all one is valid as a way to live our lives— like Curtis says, why judge anyone when we are going about our normal active reactive lives? No reason to work within any sort of context. Just be. What Rory is describing is the difference between taking responsibility for the way we each see and shape the world, and the opposite view, which is to blame the outside world for our problems; our "he shoulds" and "she shoulds". He further stated that the model in which we blame the outside world for our problems, as you were doing in "shoulding" all over Ron, or Judy, or etc, etc, etc. is really an attempt to keep your pain at bay, instead of facing it and resolving it. So two domains; on the one hand, an open attitude when dealing with others in a day to day way, and on the other hand, a specific mechanism to deal with buried pain. If you conflate the two, as Curtis has done, there is no need to do anything about anything- stay static, stay in inertia. That is certainly a choice, though there is always the alternative which Rory has spoken about also. Trace the "you should" back to its source, and see it as an inner rectification, rather than an outside problem that the person being addressed needs to fix in order for you to feel better about yourself. Similarly, we can talk about methods and techniques that we may use to grow spiritually, or we can decide that we are A-OK and decide that we don't have to. Your choice, my choice, Curtis's choice, Rory's choice. So this discussion is about choices, not judgment.:-)
