TurquoiseB wrote: > Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or > endothermic (absorbs heat)? > The answer to this is simple: to obtain Holy Water, you just boil the hell out of it.
> An old favorite story reappeared in my Inbox today, > so I thought I'd share it here: > > The following is an actual question given on a University > of Washington Chemistry Mid term. > > Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using > Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it > is compressed) or some variant. > > One student, however, wrote the following: > > First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing > in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are > moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. > I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets > to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are > leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's > look at the different religions that exist in the world > today. > > Most of these religions state that if you are not a > member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since > there is more than one of these religions and since > people do not belong to more than one religion, we can > project that all souls go to Hell. > > With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect > the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. > Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell > because Boyle's Law states that in order for the > temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the > volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls > are added. > > This gives two possibilities: > > 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate > at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pres- > sure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. > > 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase > of souls in Hell,then the temperature and pressure will > drop until Hell freezes over. > > So which is it? > > If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during > my freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell > before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact > that I slept with her last night, then number two must > be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and > has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory > is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it > is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct, > leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a > divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept > shouting "Oh my God." > > > THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+ >
