Calvin: Given that, sooner or later, we're all going to die, what's the point
of learning about integers?
Calvin: If ignorance is bliss, this lesson would appear to be a deliberate
attempt on your part to deprive me of happiness, the pursuit of which is my
unalienable right according to the declaration of independence. I therefore
assert my patriotic prerogative not to know this material. I'll be out in the
playground.
Calvin: I imagine bugs and girls have a dim suspicion that nature played a
cruel trick on them, but they lack the intelligence to really comprehend the
magnitude of it.
Calvin: In my opinion, television validates existence.
Calvin: Nothing I do is my fault. My family is dysfunctional and my parents
won't empower me! Consequently, I'm not self actualized! My behavior is
addictive functioning in a disease process of toxic codependency! I need
holistic healing and wellness before I accept any responsibility for my actions!
Bill Waterson: I hope some historian will confirm that I was the first
cartoonist to use the word "booger" in a newspaper comic strip.
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